A client of mine, let’s call her George (obviously this is not her real name… or is it?), had always been a high-achiever, deeply connected to her work and family. But as she approached her 40s, she felt a growing restlessness—a sense that something needed to shift in her life. When an unexpected career opportunity came her way, she felt both excited and terrified. Change had always been hard for her, and the idea of stepping into the unknown felt overwhelming.
Here is her story …
George had always been a high-achiever. In her 40s, she had built a successful career, nurtured close relationships, and kept her life meticulously organized. On the outside, everything seemed perfect. But underneath, she felt a growing restlessness—something she couldn’t quite put into words. It wasn’t burnout, exactly, but a deep sense that she wasn’t living in alignment with her truest self. She felt as though a storm was brewing, a quiet but powerful force pushing her toward change.
Then, life presented her with an unexpected career opportunity: a promotion that would elevate her status but require a major shift. It wasn’t just about stepping into a new role—it would mean moving across the country, leaving her comfort zone, and uprooting the life she had carefully built. When she first heard the news, a wave of excitement rushed through her. But as the days went on, fear crept in. She felt paralyzed by indecision. The idea of embracing such a massive change was both thrilling and terrifying.
George, like many INFJs, had a tendency to overanalyze. She replayed every possible outcome in her mind, over and over again, until her thoughts became a tangled web of “what-ifs.” “What if I fail? What if I lose touch with my friends? What if this is the wrong move, and I’m left regretting it?” The fear of stepping into the unknown weighed heavily on her heart. She felt as though she was standing on the edge of a cliff, unsure whether she would soar or fall if she jumped.
A story of resilience...
In our sessions, I encouraged George to pause and reflect. She had been through big changes before—starting her business, going through a painful breakup in her 30s, and even switching careers once when she was younger. Each time, she had emerged stronger, more self-assured, and more aligned with her values. But in the midst of her current fear, she had forgotten her own resilience.
Together, we revisited those memories. I asked her to write down how she navigated those past transitions and what strengths she had drawn upon. As she reflected, her demeanor shifted. She began to see a pattern—each time she embraced change, she not only survived but grew in ways she never imagined. She recognized that even when she couldn’t see the outcome, her intuition had always guided her toward what was best for her.
As she wrote, George said with a soft smile, “I forgot that I’ve been here before… and I got through it. I need to trust myself again.”
This moment of reflection was pivotal for George. By looking back at her own resilience, she shifted from being paralyzed by fear to feeling empowered by her past successes. She began to see this new opportunity not as a threat but as another chapter in her ongoing story of growth.
Calming the Inner Critic...
But George’s inner critic wasn’t ready to back down just yet. As she began to consider accepting the promotion, the voice of doubt became louder: “What if I fail this time? What if I can’t handle the responsibility? Maybe I’m not cut out for this.”
We spent time working on mindfulness exercises to help George calm that inner critic. I reminded her that fear is often a natural response to change, especially for INFJs who feel deeply and are hyper-attuned to their inner world. But fear, like all emotions, is temporary and doesn’t define us. I guided George through a simple breathing exercise, asking her to close her eyes and label her thoughts as just that—thoughts. Not facts, not truths, just fleeting mental chatter.
After the exercise, she opened her eyes, a bit lighter. “It’s strange… When I separate myself from the fear, it doesn’t seem so big anymore. It’s just noise,” she said.
This practice became a cornerstone for George in the weeks that followed. Every time fear or self-doubt arose, she would pause, breathe, and remind herself that her inner critic wasn’t telling the whole story. By quieting this voice, she could connect more deeply with her true intuition, the part of her that knew she was capable of handling change.
Reframing the Unknown...
As we continued our work together, we discussed how the unknown can feel like a void—dark, confusing, and full of uncertainty. George admitted that the idea of stepping into something she couldn’t fully control made her want to retreat into the safety of her familiar life.
But I asked her to try a different approach: “What if the unknown wasn’t a void, but a canvas?” This idea intrigued her.
We talked about how change often brings opportunities we can’t yet see—new relationships, personal growth, unexpected breakthroughs. I asked her to think about a time in her past when something unknown led to something beautiful. George smiled as she recalled meeting her best friend in college—a chance encounter that turned into a lifelong bond. Back then, she had been terrified of leaving her hometown for school, but that unknown journey had led her to one of the most fulfilling relationships of her life.
This reframe was powerful for George. Instead of seeing the unknown as a threat, she began to view it as a space where new possibilities could unfold. “Maybe this change isn’t something to fear,” she mused. “Maybe it’s the start of something even better than I can imagine.”
Leaning on a Support System... the INFJ way!
One of the biggest shifts for George was realizing she didn’t have to face change alone. Like many INFJs, she was used to being the strong one—the one her friends and family turned to in times of crisis. But now, she needed support, and asking for it felt vulnerable.
I encouraged George to reach out to her closest friends and mentor, not just for advice but for emotional support. “You’ve been there for them,” I reminded her. “Now it’s time to let them be there for you.”
At first, George hesitated. She didn’t want to burden others with her fears. But after opening up to a friend, she felt an immediate sense of relief. Her friend listened without judgment, offering words of encouragement and reminding George of all the strengths she had seen in her over the years.
This connection helped George feel grounded. She realized that she wasn’t walking this path alone—she had a tribe of people who cared deeply about her success and happiness. “It’s strange,” she reflected. “Just knowing they’re in my corner makes this whole change feel a little less scary.”
Embracing Change as Growth...
By the end of our sessions, George had begun to see the promotion not as a disruption but as an invitation to grow into the next version of herself. She still felt moments of fear, but she had learned how to navigate them with resilience, self-compassion, and a deep trust in her intuition.
She accepted the promotion, not because she had all the answers, but because she knew that growth comes from stepping into the unknown. And as she moved forward, she carried with her the knowledge that change, while uncomfortable, is the path to becoming more aligned, more fulfilled, and more authentically herself.
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