by Birgit M. Okoro

” I am always so afraid to miss out something… how can I stop this?” (FOMO)

Have you ever sat at home wondering what you were missing, stared at your phone longingly waiting for a text, or struggled between choosing which event to decline on the same night?

It might have been FOMO!

 But … It’s not just you. 

At some point, everyone has experienced the fear of missing out. 

But why is it so natural to feel this way? 

And what can you do the next time it comes up?

What is FOMO ?

Fear of missing out, or FOMO, is the anxiety or apprehension surrounding missing out on things like:

  • social events
  • gatherings
  • the latest gossip or news

Experiencing FOMO may make you feel like you aren’t as connected to the latest happenings and norms of society as you would like to be or “should” be.

FOMO can happen when you don’t get invited to a party, when your co-workers go out after work without you, or when you aren’t participating in the latest trends on social media.

FOMO can also be as simple as routinely checking your text messages. It may also look like instantly picking up your phone when you get a notification, or signing up for an activity despite the possibility of burnout from a full schedule.

What are the effects of FOMO

FOMO can affect your overall health and wellness.
If you become overloaded with social events and activities to avoid FOMO, it can impact your sleep and eating habits, leading to:
  • fatigue
  • headaches
  • lack of motivation
  • performance issues at work or school
  • burnout

FOMO can also trigger anxiety or feelings of loneliness. With FOMO, you may cycle through self-critical thoughts like:

  • “What will happen if I miss something or if I’m not there?”
  • “Will I be talked about negatively for missing the event?”
  • “Will people think less of me because I’m not following a certain trend?”

This cycle of anxious thoughts and the need to keep up could ultimately result in symptoms of depression!

FOMO can also lead some people to do or say things they typically wouldn’t just to appear “in the know” or get in with a “cool” crowd.

FOMO & Teens

Teens and adolescents may be the most vulnerable to FOMO, especially within a culture of being online 24/7.

Social media can cause people to compare themselves to others, which may lead to a negative self-image, especially in younger people.

For some teens, unaddressed FOMO can lead to:

  • low self-esteem
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • risky or harmful behaviors

Your brain is still developing as a teen, so teens may be more vulnerable to feeling peer pressure to not miss out. FOMO could influence some teens to do something unsafe or that they wouldn’t typically do without considering the consequences.

What causes FOMO?

Actually, this innate desire for social connection and belonging all human beings have, can drive FOMO. It’s natural for humans to feel a need for interpersonal relationships and want to belong to something/ someone.

When people feel they lack these types of connections, it can cause emotional and physical distress. For some people, this could affect overall well-being and functioning.

My Top Tips To OVERCOME FOMO

The fear of missing out (FOMO) was around long before its catchy acronym caught on. With the advent of social media, things have only gotten worse. People spend hours scrolling through feeds and witnessing others’ seemingly perfect lives play out in real-time. With this kind of stimuli at our fingertips, it’s hard not to fear missing out – but that doesn’t mean we can’t do something about it. 

#1 Develop an Attitude of Gratitude

Turn your focus from what you don’t have to what you do have. Look around you and think about what you can be grateful for. Think about the people in your life that support you. Count all of your blessings, big and small. If this is hard for you, write down your thoughts and feelings. ( Don’t know how to start? Click here to get my free “Gratitude Log”)

#2 Take a Social Media Fast

There is a clear correlation between FOMO and time spent on social media. If scrolling through your feeds leaves you feeling down, it may be time for a fast. Try avoiding social media for 48 hours, a week, or even a month to see if you don’t find life more fulfilling.

#3 Embrace The “Joy of Missing Out”

Anil Dash coined this term to describe the joy of doing things on your own terms. His example was discovering the simple joy of staying home to spend time with his newborn son.

#4 Seek Out Real Life Connections

Overcome loneliness by seeking out others. Sometimes, you need face-to-face time with real human beings. These times can be with family and friends or through other interactions. Who knows what new adventures will come your way through reconnecting with people?

#5 What Is Really Important?

Take some time to think about what is really important to you. Which events and activities are really worth missing? Remember, more isn’t necessarily better. You don’t need to worry about missing every single social engagement.

#6 Discern Your FOMO Triggers

Figure out your FOMO triggers, and learn to limit your exposure to them. (For example: Some people are triggered by scrolling social media… others by watching travel shows.)

Journaling may help you identify what triggers your FOMO. When you have a clear idea of who or what causes your fears of missing out, it may be easier to reframe your relationship around those thoughts and feelings. (Want to start journaling, but you don’t know how to start? Click here and get a free Starter-Guide)

#7 Accept That You Can’t Do It All

You likely won’t be able to reach every party, destination, or social event you’d like to – and that is fine! We all need to stop worrying about the times we miss out on and focus on things we can actually control. Miss a party? Oh well, there will always be another one. ( Is it hard for you to tap into the present moment? I’ve got your back… click here and read my blog article)

#8 Is Your FOMO Self-Inflicted?

Could you be the cause of your FOMO? Do you always turn down invites from your friends and loved ones? Do you refuse to be spontaneous? If so, that is where your feelings of FOMO may come from. Try saying yes to more invitations, and you will be too busy experiencing life to miss out on anything.

#10 Take a closer look…You Might Not Be Missing Out ANYTHING…

As hard as this is to think of at the moment, you might not be missing out on anything at all. Many of the events you see in your social feeds are being shared in their best light. Remember, the lives you see online might not really exist.

My "Fast Action Steps" for you to overcome FOMO

SUMMARY

Everyone has FOMO at one point or another.

And while younger people may be more likely to experience it, anyone can feel left out.

Sometimes, the fear of missing out can even affect your mental and physical well-being. Feeling like you’re always missing out on things can create anxiety and worsen feelings of loneliness and depression.

Your self-esteem may also take a hit, especially if you feel like you don’t “belong” or are not measuring up to social expectations.

But like I mentioned above: it’s hard not to fear missing out – but that doesn’t mean we can’t do something about it.

FOMO isn’t forever. Doing your best to be present can help remind you that you are enough — as you are, right here, right now.

with all my love, Birgit

You got questions? Click this link and send me a message.

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My personal 5 tips for a great week

Are you in need of some (Monday) motivation?⁠

 Are you perhaps tired, unmotivated and want a few more days of weekend right now?⁠

Take a deep breath… you are not alone on this… it happens to all of us… it happens for me, too!

Take a deep breath now!  Go on reading!⁠ Today I’ll share my own 5 favorite tips that I’ve used the most to overcome my own (Monday) blues and to level up my motivation every time I need to.

 


Yes, this is the simplest but also most powerful habit that I use to find or level-up my motivation. 

I plan in the fun things first into my daily and weekly schedule! 

( e.g. Meeting up with friends for a beer or two at the pub – Taking a long walk in the woods for “mushroom hunting” during this fall season)⁠

This boosts my enthusiasm & my energy and gives me something to look forward… Then I plan in the important work I want and need to get done.⁠

When I have difficulties finding my motivation or when I notice that I lack ideas at any time during week – I like to tap into the energy, enthusiasm and motivation of others.⁠

Studies has proven that “inspiration awakens us to new possibilities and transforms the way we perceive our own capabilities.” I especially love the last phrase. 

Can you relate to this, too?⁠

Be creative about “Getting Inspired” and explore what gets you personally motivated and moving in the most powerful way.⁠

⁠Choose an uplifting podcast or audiobook to listen to.⁠
If you are a visual person, read motivating articles or stream motivating videos on Youtube.⁠

It can be so hard to find the motivation – and to keep it up – if you let yourself get distracted. 

Do you know the risk you are taking when letting yourself get distracted? 

The distraction can become so powerful that it leads into procrastinating. ⁠

OR it will drag you down into pessimism!

So reduce those common daily distractions.

Here’s how to do it… 

Put your smart phone away.

I put it at the other end of our home when I work. Another good way to do this – in for example an office – is to put the phone in silent mode and then in the bottom drawer of the desk in your work space (at least for 30-60 minutes as you focus on one of your most important task).

Close the door.

This will reduce interruptions from colleagues.

If you don’t have a door then consider using headphones while you work for a similar effect (you don’t really have to listen to anything if you find that distracting).

Unsubscribe to  newsletters and social media accounts if necessary.

If it distracts you or drags you down into negativity too often then simply unsubscribe from that newsletter or that social platform. At least try it out for a week and see how being “OFF” affects your motivation, your mindset and your results.

If you still feel like procrastinating or not start moving forward with one of your most important tasks then it is time to take as much pressure off yourself as you can!

Actually, that’s what tends to work  best for me and helps me the most to actually get started and to get things done when I am in that headspace (rather than beating myself up or putting more pressure on myself).

So break your important task down into smaller steps. Then find the first small step you can take to move forward and get started. For me it is usually a step that only takes 5-10 minutes to complete.

If that doesn’t get you moving then go even smaller! Find a tiny step you can take for 2 minutes … or simply put on your shoes and clear of your mind with some fresh air!

Be kind to yourself when you stumble (or when things don’t work out as planned).

If you beat yourself up when you make a mistake or when things don’t go as planned then this can quickly kill your motivation for the day or even for the whole week. But you don’t want this to be your story… right?!

But if you are kind to yourself then you can quickly bounce back on track!

So don’t ask yourself “Why did this happen?”.

INSTEAD ask yourself “WHAT can I do to still achieve my goal?

or ask yourself  “How would XY support me and help me in this situation? “

This tends to put me on a healthy, self-kind and effective path of taking small steps forward once again…

Instead of getting me stuck in a downward spiral.

With all my love, Birgit

You got questions? Click this link and send me a message.

My personal 5 tips for a great week Read More »

Self Care the unusual way

Self-care can look different on any given day…. and sometimes a face mask or meditation just isn’t enough. ⁠

If you’re looking for new self-care ideas that don’t have to break the budget, I’ve put together these tips for you. ⁠

Grab what you need  to freshen up your self-care routine.⁠

✨TIP No.1⁠✨
CREATE A VISION BOARD⁠

If you’re looking to refocus your life, taking some time to create a vision board could definitely count as self-care. I’ve been keeping a vision notebook for the past few months. Every few weeks I add 2-3 “vision pages” – essentially pictures and words that refresh my visions. I find it incredibly calming and grounding to put together a collage that expresses my visions of life.

✨TIP No.2⁠✨
RELAX WITH WHITE NOISE⁠

Take a moment or two to relax to some soothing white noise. Birdsong. A shower of rain. The steady gurgle of a nearby stream. The thrilling rush of a waterfall. The next best thing would be to find a YouTube video.⁠

✨TIP NO.3⁠✨
REARRANGE FURNITURE⁠

This is one of my favourite and totally free ways to freshen up the house. I’m not a Feng Shui expert, but I believe it also changes the energy flow. And even the kangaroo ( the one from the Kangaroo Chronicles ) already knew “If you rearrange the furniture for a few days, you can have a very cheap holiday”.⁠

✨TIP 4✨ ⁠
READ POETRY⁠

I am not a poetry person myself, but somehow, over the last couple of years, new-age ‘insta-poetry’ (championed by Rupi Kaur, Dhiman, Atticus, Alyssa Harmon, Dhiman, or @dark_ish_diary)…just to mention some poets of this century) has started to feel like a certain form of self-care to me. The uplifting messages, the sharing of universal human emotions – it all feels like a soothing balm for the soul.⁠

✨ ⁠TIP 5✨ ⁠
LEARN A NEW SKILL OR HOBBY ⁠

Bonus points if you make it creative, or if it’s something to occupy your hands, like a DIY project around the house.⁠

✨ TIP 6✨
INDULGE IN NOSTALGIA⁠

Watch the TV series or movie from your childhood, re-read your favourite childhood books or comics, flip through old photos. Of course, focus on the parts of your childhood that you have happy memories of.⁠

✨✨BONUS TIP 1✨✨⁠
CHANGING BED SHEETS ⁠

Ah! There’s something so refreshing about clean sheets. I guess it’s linked to the simple act of stripping away the old/dirty bits and replacing them with clean, fresh things – which is as good as a metaphor for a mood reset… and the smell of fresh sheets always calls me and makes me dream lovely dreams. ⁠

✨✨BONUS TIP 2✨✨⁠
TAKING A NAP IRRESPECTIVE OF THE TIME⁠

My personal life has been rather heavy for the last few months. Lots of changes that I am dealing with. Almost every day, I reach a point of unbearable overwhelm – from my feelings, the never-ending list of to-dos, and just the constant churning of thoughts in my head. Taking a short nap ( especially in fresh bed sheets) – no matter how time inappropriate it might seem – has been one of those things which has truly helped me keep sane during this period.⁠

Well, truth to be told, self-care is never not important !?⁠ Right?

With all my love, Birgit

You got questions? Click this link and send me a message.

Self Care the unusual way Read More »

4 ways to practice self-Love

... especially when you're down

How much do you truly love yourself – wholeheartedly, authentically, genuinely — beyond the superficial definition?⁠ ⁠

This is your life, and your life’s mission is to learn to love who you are.⁠ ⁠

We are simply here, living… and doing the best we can.

⁠ We’re here to create what we love and love what we create.⁠ ⁠

We are here to live our version of who we are and who we wish to be. ⁠

Without loving ourselves first, how will we ever be able to give genuine love to others?⁠ ⁠

So here’s the universal rule:⁠

It is yours to make yourself first priority and to live true to yourselves with integrity and get that message to the world.⁠ ⁠

You see, our world is not only fast pacing but filled with negativity. It’s terrifying because day by day, our world is becoming a more dangerous and self-destructive place.⁠.. and most of the time we just keep surviving and get our piece of the cake (no matter if we like the cake or not).⁠ ⁠

Have you ever been so tiered of this that you was seeking for the answer to the “why”?⁠ ⁠

Why do we spend so much time seeking revenge, or looking for ways to hurt someone?

⁠ Why do we spend even more time holding onto grudges and harboring hate? ⁠

Why do we let it occupy our minds and eventually destroy ourselves in the process?⁠ ⁠

The answer is simple: We forget to care & love ourselves so we create that Place-of-home⁠ ⁠

Can you imagine the solution now?⁠ ⁠

This is even simpler:

We have to learn to love ourselves in order to resonate lightness and love.

⁠ ⁠ But, how do we practice this? Well, it’s easier said than done.⁠

In Case... You have been hurt or betrayed

Maybe, you have been hurt or betrayed. You aren’t perfect, so people and the unfortunate situations they put you in will damage you.

We feel like we’ve put too much effort into a friendship or relationship to let it go. We feel like we aren’t good enough.

We question what we could have, should have or would have done differently. We end up feeling insecure and worthless, and this formulates a cycle.

You can either hate the person who hurt you and dwell on the situation, or you can forgive and learn from it. Most of the time, we are put in these situations to learn to love ourselves.

If you hate the person after what he or she did to you, that should give you a sign of how much you genuinely love yourself.

If you wholeheartedly loved yourself, you would know you are worthy and would not succumb to insecurities the person who hurt you left you with.

I’m not saying not to feel the pain. Feel the pain all you want, but do not let it overtake and change your perception of who you truly are and who you want to be.

In Case ... You dislike your appearance

There are times when you’re not going to like the way you look. Maybe, you’re too skinny or overweight. Maybe, you dislike your skin tone or your complexion.

Your appearance makes you feel unattractive. We end up feeling insecure and worthless, and again, this formulates the same cycle.

You can either hate how you look, or you can learn to love how you look.

Your character will always make you more attractive. People are more attracted to people who loves themselves rather than people who are too self-critical.

The way you feel about your appearance is in your hands; you have the ability to change how you feel. If you don’t like the way you look, have you ever thought it may have a lot to do with the person you think you are internally?

If you loved yourself enough to know you are an imperfect, beautiful human, you will have the motivation to encourage yourself and others to make a healthy change.

In Case ... You didn’t get what you thought you deserved

Maybe, you didn’t get the job or position you wanted and worked so hard for. Maybe, you failed numerous times. Maybe, you didn’t get treated fairly.

We tend to feel sorry for ourselves and start to give up when things do not go our way. We get frustrated, and we feel like nothing pays off.

We start to compare ourselves to others. We end up feeling insecure and worthless. This, again and again, formulates a cycle.

If you loved yourself, you wouldn’t put yourself down. You would understand, like all humans, you have potential for greatness. You would not accept failure because as humans, we will all fail at least once in our lives.

In Case ... You hate yourself

The problem with the people in our world is that many of them do not love themselves, and because of that very reason, they resort to hate. Loving yourself and all your flaws is the first step in recognizing you have the ability to genuinely do the same with others.

It’s our ability to appreciate ourselves that allows us to respect and value others. It’s our ability to love ourselves to the fullest that will actually promote a healthier, more loving and genuine world.

The most important thing to recognize is we are all imperfect humans; we are all bound to make mistakes. Our greatest enemies are ourselves, so if there is something we do not personally like about ourselves, we have the ability to change it.

Maybe, a good way to start is to use gratitude toward ourselves and others as a weapon against self-hatred. You may think it’s selfish, and it’s perfectly okay to be selfish when it comes to love. It’s selfish, but only selfish for the end result to be selfless.

So be selfish, and start with loving yourself first.

This way, you can end up being selfless and sharing that pure and genuine love to others.

With all my love, B.

You got questions? Click this link and send me a message.

I’ve got your back.

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the trick is not being successful.

The real magic happens when you start being human!

You’ve probably heard this before:

“Hard things are easy; easy things are hard.”

This is called the  Moravec’s Paradox.

A short definition about hard and soft skills

Behind the term “Hard Skills” are simply our professional competences that we have learned in the course of your education and developed through our professional life. Therefore “Hard Skills” are easy to define: They include such things as finance, data analytics, cloud computing, artificial intelligence and strategic thinking. What “Hard Skills” does your position requires ?

It is harder to define soft skills. And indeed, they are also harder to measure.

Soft skills, also known as core competencies, are skills that apply to all professions. They include critical thinking, problem solving, public speaking, professional writing, teamwork, digital literacy, leadership, professional attitude, work ethic, career management and intercultural competence…. so also interpersonal emotional skills such as empathy and resilience.

They are in contrast to hard skills, which are specific to individual professions and they are really hard to train and a hell of a lot depends on them! Because they represent a tremendously large field of “faux pas” which, if committed, can be very, very expensive.

So soft skills are actually the most difficult skills.

But you already know that.

But you already know that. You’re a people person, right?

Richard Feynman once said “The first principle is that you must not fool yourself—and you are the easiest person to fool.”

And isn’t that true for all of us no matter where we stand in life?

Feyman’s 1st principle does not distinguish between billionaires and first-year students, or whether you are busy founding your first start-up or have completed your third million-dollar exit.

A psychology research paper, Unskilled And Unaware Of It, by J Kruger et al., says:

We all lack self insight some of the time. And, in particular, when we’ve strayed beyond our sphere of competence, we may lack the competence to know it.

And the follow up paper, Skilled Or Unskilled, But Still Unaware Of It, by Katherine A Burson et al., points out that on more difficult tasks, high performers are even less accurate than the worst performers in their judgments.

So what?

Smart, successful, wealthy people are at greater risk of their own errors of judgement, each time they start a new project.

So to be amongst the very best impacting leaders is to recognize that even you can’t trust the way we think. 

Which is why every great leader needs the support of a modern concierge-system. And the good news is in this so called “century of coaching” you can easily have this support. 

As Hugh McLeod once said, “The trick isn’t being successful. The trick is being human.”

the trick is not being successful. Read More »

6 questions for you

I got it! YOU don’t need help. YOU have a track record of success. You have a bias for action. You live a happy and impactful life. … but also you crave for something more, right? Have a look at the 6 questions below. Might help… won’t hurt! Right?

Leadership

You’re not afraid to lead. You’re known as a leader (whether as an executive, or as an entrepreneur, or in your family. Or all three)

YES or NO ?

High touch vs high tech

You are willing to put internet marketing to one side, while you create clients one powerful conversation at a time.

YES or NO ?

Longevity

You’re in business for the long haul. You have the resources so that you don’t “need” new projects, even if you want them

YES or NO ?

Bias for action

When you’re 70% ready, you go. You don’t wait for perfection. You don’t need tons of information before you begin.

YES or NO ?

Risk

You’re a risk taker by nature. You’re not afraid to fail or make mistakes. You’re willing to collect NOs

YES or NO ?

Contribution

You’re a giver. When you join a community, people are grateful you are there.

YES or NO ?

If all six of these are true, then my 360-degree-Concierge-Service is probably your perfect next jump.  

with all my love, B.

You got questions? Click this link and send me a message.

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“what can i do, to make sure, I’m becoming the best version of myself?”

what can I do to make sure I'm becoming the best version of myself_BLOGbyBIMAKO

I recently was asked this great question again.⁠

And as sticky as it felt to me, writing this article, I hope my tips will help you to start becoming the very best version of yourself!

For me, becoming the best version of yourself is a very personal journey as we all are unique souls, gifted with unique talents, having individual perspectives to words like “Best version”, “Success” or even “Happiness”. 

So there cannot be a “universal best practice” for this.⁠

BUT … I wouldn’t write an article about this topic with nothing in my hands! 

 I have developed a GROWTH BLUEPRINT for my coaching clients… as you can see, the individual steps do not provide much detail. They offer you an overview. ⁠

You see… the action and individual steps are up to you! ⁠
Your life & your journey are as unique as you are… and therefore each one of your steps has to be! But don’t you hazitat… I’ve got you back 😉 Right?⁠

But long story short.. Let’s take a look at the Blueprint! ⁠

The Growth Blueprint

21 action steps to become your best version

SHOW UP⁠
Let’s say you want to run a marathon, but have no prior experience. The first step is lacing up you shoes and hitting the pavement. Right? Even if you only make it half a mile on your first training run, you’ll be about 2% closer to your ultimate goal than if you didn’t put in any work at all!

START FROM SCRATCH⁠
You don’t just happen to stumble upon the best version of yourself. You need to start from the beginning and take a high number of small steps in order to become what you envision.⁠

MAKE SURE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF IS YOUR OWN… NOT SOMEONE ELSE’S!⁠                                                                                                                                                                             Don’t waste your energy and time trying to live up to what somebody else wants you to be.⁠

STOP LOOKING FOR A SECRET SHORTCUT                                                                   Sorry… but there is no miraculous TRICK to the better version of yourself. Neither you take the whole journey… or you will never reach your destiny!⁠

DON’T GET LOST IN THE DETAILS                                                                                        Just make sure that you’re moving in the right general direction. You probably don’t have the knowledge you need today to know the shortest path to your happiness five years from today. But there is a pretty good chance you have some real good  ideas  about how to move in the right direction. Take the first step. And just than: take the next step. So many people get stuck in the details, that by the end of the day, nothing has happened at all. You don’t want to be one of those… RIGHT?

MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR OPPORTUNITIES                                                                                    Do you remember those days when the worldwide web was simply not existing. When we went to the public library to get our homework done? But now, it’s easier than ever to learn new skills! I mean the Internet has fundamentally changed our entire world!  In the old days, knowledge was locked away in the minds of industry experts and in the pages of books that you needed to buy or check out from a library.  But not anymore! Turn on your computer or use your mobile: Search what you are looking for. Find a platform and learn that skills you need for your next action steps! I cannot mention this enough: This is essential to becoming the best version of yourself.

JOURNAL                                                                                                                              “Translating” your thoughts into written narratives pushes you to think about the ideas in your head at a much deeper level.

Don’t know how to start a journal? No problem… I have written an blog article about this! Just click here.

STOP COUNTING THE HOURS!                                                                                            They don’t matter at all! Think about the last time you ran on a treadmill. If you looked down at the timer every few seconds, you probably didn’t enjoy your run. RIGHT or WRONG? It might  made it far more difficult to run far.                                                                                                                 But what if you took the opposite approach? You plugged in your headphones, lost yourself in the music, and took it one stride at a time….while resisting any temptation to look at the timer at all. If you did this, you probably discovered that you enjoyed the run and made it pretty far. Right? In fact counting hours only slows you down from reaching your goal… or gets you stuck!

DON’T LET YOUR PRIDE GET IN THE WAY                                                                           Reach out, ask questions, accept help from other people. “Asking for help” is not a sign of weakness! How could it?  Most successful people needed help along the way, too.

CELEBRATE EVEN THE SMALL WINS                                                                                     Tell me: Is it  common for you to remember things that have gone wrong in your live but forget things which have gone right!? Do this instead:  Appreciating what you’re doing in the present gives you the motivation to keep making strides towards your ultimate goal. So start to celebrate even your smallest wins. Maybe you wanna start by writing down 5 small accomplishment or successes of today, which make you feel satisfied, happy or proud of yourself today… and don’t forget to notice them in your journal 😉 ⁠

STOP PRETENDING TO KNOW THINGS YOU DON’T KNOW                                                Will you grow and learn something new if you pretend to already know anything? Probably not… Right?

EMBRACE FAILURE                                                                                                                    Yes,this is definitely NOT a fun point, I know. But do think “playing it safe” will help you become the best version of yourself? NEVER, EVER! You will not your best version inside of your comfort zone! . For heavens sake: getting fired could even be the best thing that ever happened to you (look at Rich Litvin)!

CHECK YOUR ATTITUDE

Remember: Your mindset is key to everything! It affects not only your daily life but also the lives of others around you. Make sure to check in with yourself and see how you could improve how you react to situations.

CALL YOUR “FAMILY”                                                                                                                  By “family” I am not pointing only to the family you were born in ( oh we all know, that some families can turn your life into a never ending nightmare… especially for the Hollidays). For me “Family” is something we build through our entire life. Your best friend from school you call every three years but it always feels like you never parent? That is one of your family members. Some may call this “your tribe”. Whatever you wanna name it.Here is one reason why you should keep the connections alive: Your family/Friends/tribe value you… they’ve got your back! And so do you. So whenever you are facing a struggle… call them: There is a pretty good chance you will learn a lesson from one of your peers, that is not available through any Google search and aren’t accessible to pretty much anyone else in the world!

STOP BELIEVING THE SOCIAL MEDIA SCOREBOARD                                                             Some people don’t play right on social media. We all know. People draw an extremely exaggerated version of life on Facebook, Instagram, TicTok, and other social platforms. And well: YES. It is fun sharing the good things… and hide the bad! But we all face Ups & Downs in Life… and if someone only shares the Ups… okay enjoy the show. But don’t take it for granted… and most off all don’t feel ashame just because you are living a true life. It is just Hide and Seek.

HAVE FUN BEING UNPRODUCTIVE IN YOUR “FREE TIME”

It is obvious: our society values productivity. But as this brought our modern society as far as it did… the same productivity brings a lot of pressure with it. But neither is our body a machine… nor is our mind. In fact, studies show that „free-time“ is actually good for us – not only leisure time been related to a healthier immune system, reduces stress, and even increased longvity, it also helps you cultivate a richer sense of self and self-efficacy… which is your belief in yourself.

If you still need reasons why sometimes the most productive thing to do… is to take a BREAK… click here 

MAKE A WALK IN NATURE A ROUTINE

As much as a daily walk in the fresh air may seem like a waste of time at first place… its benefits are also numerous: Spending time outdoors, especially in green spaces, is one of the fastest ways to IMPROVE your HEALTH, your Happiness & your PRODUCTIVITY.

You are sceptical? Click here and read my blog post “How a walk in nature can boost your health and your success”.

STOP CREATING FOLLOWERS

INSTEAD: Help other people become the best version of themselves.    Pay it forward. Doing so keep you motivated on your own path, and you’ll find that the lasting connections you build from helping others will greatly benefit you moving forward.

GET RID OF PERFECTIONISM

Trust me: nobody expect you to be perfect 24/7 just you. 

Wonder if you have perfectionism traits? Click here to take a quiz!

Are you stressed out by your own perfectionism? Click here and discover 3 actions to paus perfectionism and feel relaxed again

 

VISUALIZE  YOUR FUTURE                                                                                                                             What you visualize is what you will get. The practice of visualization is what gives high achieving people what seems like super-powers, helping them create their dream lives by accomplishing one goal or task at a time with hyper focus and complete confidence. We all have this power, but most of us have never been taught to use it effectively. Elite athletes use it. The super-rich use it. And peak performers in all fields now use it. Are you ready to join these achievers?

Click here to join a powerful guided visualization by Lisa Nichols. It’s free. So why not give it a try?

LAUNCH YOUR BEST VERVION EARLY                                                                                            If you’re not satisfied with the current version of yourself, then the quickest way to solve the problem is to begin working towards the better version today. There is no “right time” to get started.

It can be tempting to think about the best version of yourself as some intangible point in the future.

You know, the one where you are:

More successful

Doing what you love

Existing as an overall happier person

You see your current self as the regular season, and you’re just waiting for the playoffs to start before giving it your all.

But if all you do is wait for the best version of yourself to happen, you’re forever going to be stuck with the current version.

So, how do you launch the best version of yourself?

Start making progress today.

With all my love, Birgit

You got questions? Click this link and send me a message.

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“Excuse me, But isn’t it rather selfish & unempathic to put m happiness first”

I recently was asked this great question… 

Actually this is probably the most malicious myth about happiness at all!

But, it comes in several varieties… did you ever heart this before:
“In a world so full of suffering, you can be happy only if you’re callous and self-centered”⁠
“Happy people become wrapped up in their own pleasure! They’re complacent and uninterested in the world”.⁠

And just to make this clear right from the bottom: These are WRONG!!!!⁠

Studies show that, quite to the contrary, happier people are more likely to help other people, they’re more interested in social problems, they do more volunteer work, and they contribute more to charity. They’re less preoccupied with their personal problems.⁠

WHEN I’M FEELING HAPPY… I find it easier to notice other people’s problems… I feel that I have more energy to try to take action… I have the emotional wherewithal to tackle sad or difficult issues… and I’m not as preoccupied with myself… I feel more generous and forgiving. ⁠

 How about you? 

If you spend time with someone who exudes positivity, and you are more likely to feel positive… Hang with someone who acts like life’s number one victim, and guaranteed, Debbie downer is going to rub off on you. RIGHT OR WRONG?⁠

It is called EMOTIONAL CONTAGION… and it means the emotions of others can influence us. ⁠

So if happy people make other people happy, why is it that happy people are sometimes thought to be selfish?⁠

This myth that unhappiness is selfless and happiness is selfish is misguided.⁠
IN FACT It’s more selfless to act happy. ⁠
It takes energy, generosity and discipline to be “happy”, BUT yet everyone takes the happy person for granted.⁠

“ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY IS TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE HAPPY; ⁠
ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO MAKE OTHERS HAPPY IS TO BE HAPPY YOURSELF”⁠

Everyone accepts the first part of this phrase, but the second part is just as important!⁠

By making the effort to make yourself happier, you better equip yourself to make other people happier, as well. ⁠

IT’S NOT SELFISH TO TRY TO BE HAPPY… ⁠
HAPPINESS is your BIRTHRIGHT!⁠

With all my love. B.⁠

Facts about Happiness you might want to know...

Happiness takes work. Happy people are taken for granted because they are thought of as  naturally happy people or born happy, yet upbeat people have to work at being resilient, bouncing back, rising above, and staying positive. The outside world only sees the happy person and not the effort behind the scenes, so positive people don’t receive credit for creating their sunshine-like dispositions. “Happiness is a work ethic. You have to train your brain to be positive, just like you work out your body,”

what can I do to make sure I'm becoming the best version of myself_BLOGbyBIMAKO

Happy people are overlooked. If happy people are thought to be in selfish pursuit of their own fulfillment and pleasure, consider that the happy person often goes unnoticed. “No one is careful of (a happy person’s) feelings or tries to keep his spirits high,” Rubin says. “Because happy people seem self-sufficient, they become a cushion for others.”  The happy person is expected to lift others up.

Happiness doesn’t mean you lack empathy. Just because your smile lights up a room, doesn’t mean you are blind to the suffering going on in the world. You don’t have to sacrifice your happiness to show the world you are compassionate. “Just as eating your dinner doesn’t help starving children in India; being blue yourself doesn’t help unhappy people become happier,” Rubin says. In fact, happier people are better equipped to demonstrate their empathy and help people because their emotional tanks are full.  “When I’m feeling happy, I find it easier to notice other people’s problems. I have more energy to try to take action and I have the emotional wherewithal to tackle sad or difficult issues, and I’m not as preoccupied with myself. I feel more generous and forgiving,” Rubin says. There will always be tragic stories happening in the world, but empathy is better expressed with giving back and good deeds, than giving up your happiness in a show of support.

Happy people give back.  Happy people are more interested in social problems, more likely to do volunteer work and contribute to charity, according to Gallup Well-being polls. While unhappy people tend to socially withdraw and focus on themselves, happy people turn outward and are more available to help others. And when people give back it only enhances their happiness, says Harvey McKinnon, a nonprofit fundraising expert and author of The Power of Giving: How Giving Back Enriches Us All. “People are hard-wired to give, and when people give to others, it makes them feel better.” Turns out, one of the best ways to get happy in the first place is to do a selfless act—help other people be happy. Rubin calls it a splendid truth: “The best way to make yourself happy is to make others happy, and the best ways to make other people happy, is to be happy yourself.”

It occurs to me, that it’s quiet important to care & fill our own “cup” first… just because of the fact that no-one can pour from an empty cup!  so you want to make a difference in this world, care about yourself. Then… only then… you will be able to give  to others from a healthy and abundant place!

with all my love, Birgit

You got questions? Click this link and send me a message.

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How to calm down the s#%t

blog by mrs.bimako

Retrain your brain for a calmer life

We live in fast-paced times.

You could say stress is part of our daily life! Everyone has to cope with it. And most of the time we master the challenges of everyday life with flying colours, don’t we?

But do you know those moments when you don’t know where your head is anymore and you have the feeling “this will never change. It will stay like this forever”. These are the moments when we have “just had enough”. Hand on heart: Does this sound like someone you know?

 If you feel so stressed-out that you are overwhelmed trying to cope, anxious or even panic about your to-do list… then take a closer look at the following 7 strategies to retrain your brain and learn how to handle stress better & stay calm under any kind of pressure.

Did you know? Stress & Pressure can put the body into “fight or flight” mode – an age-old tactic you probably have heard about. However, this evolutionary process releases hormones that prepare the body for either “fight or flight” mode, to get you ready to either fight or run from danger. In this day and age, our massive daily stress triggers these fight or flight hormones…. even when we are not faced with life-threatening situations. Okay, to us it may feel like our life depends on giving that presentation at work… I know situations like this… But let’s be honest… it’s not holding exactly the same amount of danger as facing a wild sabre-toothed tiger…. is it?

So if we often feel anxious or even panicky, it could be an indication that our fight or flight mode is probably triggered too easily. In this case, wouldn’t it be helpful  to learn how to calm yourself down when you’re entering this state?

7 tips
how you can calm down under any kind of pressure

TAKE A DEEP BREATH … OR TWO

Breathing deeply and slowly triggers the body to stop releasing stress hormones and start to relax. Focusing on your breath can also help to distract your mind from whatever is bothering you so that you focus only on what is happening at the present moment…either around you, nor inside of you.

A wise man once said: ” If you are in your head, you are dead”. Well, it’s a little bit dramatic… but you may see the point of truth in there. If we are not aware what’s happening around us and – instead- are wrapped up in our To-Do-Lists and worries, then we are only functioning… then we are not really living at all. 

Let’s start practicing how to be more present and focus on our breathing, right away. Here is a simple but very effective exercise:

Close your eyes. Relax your shoulders and your lower jaw! Breathe in deeply through your nose –  all the way into your belly and not just your chest. Hold for a moment and breathe out slowly through your mouth. Take a few minutes just to breathe deeply. Inhale – Exhale – Repeat.  After some time you should find yourself feeling much calmer.

If you like I have written down my “3 best practice tips to tap into the present moment easily”. Just click here to have a look at the little article.

GO FOR A WALK IN NATURE

Exercise is just as important as sleep when it comes to keeping stress in check and dealing with external pressure. Exercise prompts the body to release those “feel good” hormones that help you to clear your mind. 

If you’re under pressure at work, just five minutes of fresh air and a change of scenery could help you to feel calmer and gain a new perspective on the situation – you’ll probably realise it’s not a case of life or death anyway.

If you’d like to read more about the benefits of a “Walk Outside” click here to find out how a walk outside can boost your health AND your success.

 

PRACTISE GRATITUDE 

Staying grateful for everything you have in your life – no matter how small – can keep things in perspective and help you to maintain a positive attitude

Studies have shown that people who keep a daily gratitude journal have lower levels of cortisol – the hormone responsible for stress. Try taking a few minutes at the end of each day to write down 5 things you feel thankful for and see how much better it makes you feel.

Writing a gratitude journal may seem difficult at first, I know. Grap a free copy of my “Gratitude Log For Inner Peace” simply by clicking this link.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO VALUE YOU

You probably have a few people in your life who can make you feel stressed just by being around them. While it’s not always possible to cut these people out of your life entirely, when you’re under pressure try to spend more time with friends and family who are helpful, positive, and will lift you up rather than drag you down.

But most of all: allow yourself to be proud of yourself! Remember your strengths, your achievements and your worth.

GET PLENTY OF SLEEP

Let’s be honest: Everything seems worse when you’ve haven’t had a good night’s sleep. Stress and anxiety can often lead to insomnia so you end up in a vicious cycle – not being able to sleep and then feeling worse because you haven’t had enough sleep.

Make sleep a priority, especially if you’re under a lot of pressure. Create a sleep routine, that helps you to calm down. What about creating a spa like bedtime routine that helps you to relaxe? Probably you are the typ of person that enjoys guided meditations that help you to drift into sleep! OR you need a quick but exhausting yoga sequence to kick off our day.

Whatever it is that fits you most: Keep your mind clear and set an intention to have 8 hours of delicious sleep tonight. Unplug from all devices about 1 hour before you sleep.

FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE

Always imagining the worst case in every scenario is clinically known as catastrophic thinking and can increase anxiety and feelings of panic.

Rather than dwelling on negative aspects or outcomes, try to spend a few moments thinking positively. If your bathroom has flooded and you have to replace all the flooring, for example, this could be a very stressful situation. Yet try to focus on the fact that it gives you the opportunity to update and renovate, and the repairs should be covered by your insurance.

Staying optimistic allows your brain to avoid stress and stay calm.

Are you struggling being positive? Are you facing negative self-talk? Wait a minute. I’ve got something for you: click here to grab a free copy of my “POSITIVE MINDSET CHEATSHEET”.

PAUSE AND MEDITATED

Meditation has been proven to reduce stress and influence your brain waves over time so you can manage your emotions better and stay calm when you need to most.

If you think meditation is all about sitting cross-legged for hours and chanting “om”, you couldn’t be further from the truth – even a few minutes of sitting quietly and concentrating on your breathing is a beneficial form of meditation. You can also try apps like Headspace or 7Mind.

Personally I love guided meditations. You can easily find quiet a lot on YouTube and choose the ones that fit your needs! Click this link, to get to a free “Guided Meditation To Relax Your Mind and Release Stress” by amazing Merissa Peer. Or listen to this one … it’s a guided meditation for relaxation, positive energy and creativity by Mindvalley.

 

 

You can’t control what life will throw at you next, but you can learn to cope with pressurised situations and deal with stress in a healthy way.

Making an effort to practise some of these strategies the next time you feel under pressure can help you to feel calm and able to deal with any situation.

with all my love, Birgit

You got questions? Click this link and send me a message.

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The 6 signs you are struggling with emotional clutter

... and how to clear them out

Okay, let’s pause for a second right here!

I can see you… and I hear you: What (by all means) do you mean by “Emotional Clutter”?

In fact we all carry “emotional clutter” with us… and for sure we all have build some functional “emotional blocks” throughout our life that sometimes prevent us from communicating with others …. and make us feel totally incapable.⁠

You see…

Our past experiences shape the way we see the world and how we relate to others. ⁠
⁠And these experiences often bring out different emotions that we either express or suppress. ⁠

Really everyone carries emotions that they have not fully processed because of past experiences… and yes: even coaches and therapists do! 😉

The problem starts if we don’t process these emotions, they can surface in many areas of our lives and make it difficult for us to function…. for example, they can affect how we react to stress, how we see ourselves as a person…. and sometimes they affect our physical health. ⁠Yes, these are all things that accumulated feelings can do.⁠

All those repressed, suppressed and unexpressed emotions and old beliefs that are keeping you stuck, rooted in a spot that probably no longer represents who you are or what you are capable of. ⁠

Actually emotional clutter acts like an invisible set of horse blinders that keep you from seeing beyond what is right in front of you!⁠

They blind you to potential paths forward and from the resources and options you have at your disposal. ⁠

But because those emotional blinders aren’t physical, they are easy enough to suppress or ignore.⁠

So here comes the 6 signs you have emotional clutter to deal with, and a few thoughts about how to clear it out…

Sign No1:

Your Expectations of How Others Should Behave Is Distancing You From Them.

Do you have rules for how the people in your life need to show you they love you?

For example, do you “need” your husband to start taking out recycling without being nagged to feel more appreciated?

The problem with this is twofold: (a) it is extremely rare that these expectations are ever verbalised so the other person has no idea he is fouling up… and (b) your focus on what they aren’t doing right often causes you to miss other, real expressions of love.

Sign No2:

What You Should Do Is Making You Miserable or Rebellious.

Just as “should” isn’t a good motivator for others (see sign No1), it’s not a good motivator for you, either.

Rather than bowing to “should dos,” the next time you start to do something because you have to, stop. Take five minutes to consider what you really want to do and why. Then decide to make and follow your own rules in that area going forward.

Sign No3:

You Become “Shivery” Every Time You Scroll Through Your Contacts and See “THAT” Name.

Old relationships that ended on an unfortunate note, whether personal or professional, are part of life.

If you had one, do yourself a favour and get some closure.

Distance is the only thing that will lessen the emotional sting.

Delete the contact information from your phone.

UnFriend. UnLink. UnFollow.

You don’t need to know what they are up to if all it does is make you re-experience a past hurt. Handle yourself this gift of closing that door finally!

Sign No4:

You Feel Guilty Because You Let Someone Down.

Human beings are born to connect with others… and therefore we are used to please others so they like us.

From the time we can walk, we are socialised to share, pitch in and contribute.

The principle of reciprocity serves as a crucial glue for our community-based societies.

But it can also lead you to over-commit. If you’re chronically over-extending yourself, and letting people down in the process, you need to swap your “Sure, no problem” for “That sounds really interesting; let me think about it and get back to you with an answer.” Then use the time to determine whether you want to accept the request.

Sign No5:

You Get This Nagging Feeling When You Think About Someone.

Sometimes so much time has passed since you last connected with someone that you feel guilty just thinking about them or seeing their information in your phone. 

Rather than suppressing the negative emotion, call them!

Ideally, right when you realise you’re feeling guilty. 

If you can’t do it right then, make an appointment to connect with them before the week is out.

Free yourself with this act of courage.

Sign No6:

You Have Tons Of Uncompleted Projects.

There are several reason why you probably won’t finish projects… sometimes you need more informations… you loose interest in the topic… but there is a pretty good chance too that your subconscious mind is trying to keep you safe inside of your comfort zone and stop you from completing that project!

If it is this or that reason: When you fail to complete a project, you not only have physical reminders of it, but nagging emotional ones as well.

Can you see?

The nagging may not be urgent, but it’s there, somewhere in the back of your mind, constantly reminding you that you have something left to do.

If you’ve got one (or more) of these, take some time before the day is out to make a list of the projects you want to complete.

Then break them down into smaller work steps and schedule them in.

If you have a half-started project that you no longer really want to finish, it’s OK. It’s probably better to let it go and be at peace with your decision than to continue to carry it around!

So these are the 6 signs you are carrying emotional clutter with you.

Of course, these tips cannot be for everyone. We are are unique creatures and so are our stories.

If you feel those repressed, suppressed and unexpressed emotions and old beliefs deep insight you are probably  keeping you stuck… please feel invited to send me a message.

I am here to support you and to help you to bring ease and happiness back into your life!

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