Affective presence

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro /

Stop Draining Your People and Start Energizing Them

“True leadership isn’t about how others feel about you. It’s about how they feel about themselves when they’re with you.”

Have you ever wondered how people feel when they’re around you? Do they leave feeling energized or drained? The secret to impactful leadership lies in affective presence—the emotional footprint you leave behind.

This isn’t just about your personality; it’s about the emotional ripple effect you create. Whether you’re the calm in the storm or the fire that fuels action, the emotional trail you leave behind affects your team, your relationships, and ultimately, your impact as a leader.

What is Affective Presence?

In 2010, psychologists N. Eisenkraft and H. Elfenbein coined the term “affective presence” to describe the emotional influence we exert on others simply by being around them. Whether we’re stressed, calm, warm, or distant, we leave an emotional mark—an invisible “footprint” on others.

There are two sides to this coin:

  • Positive affective presence energizes, uplifts, and fosters creativity.
  • Negative affective presence creates tension, anxiety, and can even sabotage relationships.

Here’s the key: your affective presence can either empower people to be their best selves, or it can drain them emotionally. And, even more fascinatingly, your affective presence is often independent of your own emotional state—it’s about how others feel in your presence, not just about how you’re feeling inside.

Why Affective Presence Matters

As a brilliant, deep-thinking woman that you are, you already know how vital emotional intelligence is in leadership. But understanding affective presence can take your influence to the next level. Here’s why:

  1. It Boosts Trust and Influence
    Leaders with a positive affective presence are more trusted and sought after. They create environments where people feel safe to share ideas, which leads to more collaboration and innovation.

  2. It Improves Team Performance
    Teams led by leaders with positive affective presence experience higher motivation and performance. Especially in high-stress environments, leaders who can maintain a calm, inspiring presence help their teams flourish.

  3. It Shapes Culture
    Your presence impacts the culture of your team. If you bring positive energy, others are likely to mirror it. But if you consistently show up stressed or detached, the emotional climate of your team will reflect that.

How to Cultivate Positive Affective Presence

#1. Develop Self-Awareness:

Being aware of your own emotions is the first step in managing your affective presence. High-performing women often have so much on their plates that emotional overload becomes their default state.

Action Steps:

  • Identify your emotional triggers. Who or what tends to push your buttons? Knowing this helps you regulate your reactions.
  • Reflect on your emotions before interacting with others. Ask yourself, “Am I bringing stress into this situation, or can I shift to calm?”
  • Practice pausing before reacting. Self-awareness gives you space to choose how to respond.

#2. Tune into Others:

Leadership isn’t just about managing your own emotions—it’s about understanding how your presence affects others.

Action Steps:

  • Before meetings, reflect on what your team or colleagues might need emotionally. Are they anxious? Uncertain? Your affective presence can help soothe those emotions.
  • Decide on the emotional impact you want to leave behind. Want others to feel calm? Focused? Empowered? Make sure you embody that energy first.

#3. Exercise Self-Discipline:

The final key is self-discipline. No matter how stressful your day gets, your team is looking to you for emotional guidance. How you treat them will determine how they perform.

Action Steps:

  • Reframe your mindset when meeting with people who frustrate you. Focus on their positive traits and shared goals.
  • Choose to always take the high road. Research shows that respect fosters positive feelings—and the more respected people feel, the more likely they are to work well with you.

The Journey to Positive Affective Presence

Imagine being the kind of leader people seek out because your presence leaves them feeling energized, grounded, and ready to tackle challenges. Cultivating positive affective presence isn’t a one-time thing; it’s a daily choice. But over time, it will become second nature—a part of who you are and how you lead.

with love,

PS: Ready to Energize Your Leadership?

Let’s keep this conversation going! Whether you want to share your thoughts in the comments or connect with me on Instagram @MrsBimako, I’d love to hear your reflections on leadership and affective presence.

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Together, we’ll lead with more energy, presence, and power.

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