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damn…Why does it often feel like an uphill battle to make time for Self-Care?

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

Self-care is crucial—we all know that! So why does it often feel like an uphill battle to make time for it? Swipe left to find out why.

Speaking for myself, I can absolutely relate as a highly sensitive INFJ woman running a coaching business while working as a trauma therapist, all why trying to be a good partner/ mom/ friend … not to forget the cooking, cleaning AND carving out time for myself to reflect and recharge. It can be a lot !

But today, let’s flip the script and make a change. Together.

The simple truth is...

Understanding the “why” behind the struggle is the first step toward making meaningful changes.

So let’s dive into some reasons why we might struggle with self-care and how we can gently weave it into our lives.

#1: We're Tired

As deep feelers, you and I often push ourselves to the limit.

This can lead to exhaustion, creating a vicious cycle where we’re too tired to practice self-care. Breaking this cycle is crucial.

When I find myself in this place I start with small steps to rest and recharge.

What about having a 10-minute ‘nothing break’ or a solo nature walk during your lunch break?

Give it a try. Your future self will thank you.

#2: Overthinking & Perfectionism

Do you often go from deep thinking to overthinking and aiming for perfection?

Yeap, that’s me sometimes too… I call it introspective nature .

You might think that if we can’t do self-care “perfectly” (the way some gurus order it), it’s not worth doing at all.

Listen… there is no right or wrong way to practice self-care. If it feels right to you, it is perfectly done right! It’s about finding what nourishes you, even in small doses.

#3: Prioritizing Others

Hands on heart, if you are like me, you probably know this well – the tendency to prioritize others’ needs over our own.

While being empathetic is our strength, it’s essential to recognize that we deserve care and attention too.

Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary…. Or in the words of a very wise soul:

Self-care is how you take your power back.

Lalah Delia

Feeling Overwhelmed ?

This fast-paced world is stressful. Add the tons of responsibilities we juggle, and being an empath sometimes adds a sour cherry on top. We crave solitude to recharge yet find so little room for self-care.

My secret: Simplify your self-care routine. Don’t have the time or energy for a 40-minute yoga flow? Okay, sit down and journal or do a sun salutation. Find what feels good to you. That’s what matters most.

Have you ever struggled with feelings of guilt or questioned your worthiness when it comes to taking time for yourself? Welcome to the club, my dear! You are not alone… it happens to me too.

But here’s a gentle reminder: WE are worthy of self-care time.

Think of it this way: If we are giving and performing from a place of overflowing energy, instead of acting from a half-full cup, that’s when we are giving and performing at our best!

Self-care is not a luxury. It’s a lifeline that keeps you and me grounded, energized, and resilient.

with love & respect, MrsBimako

↓ ↓ ↓

𝗛𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝘂𝗽… Take a moment today to commit to ONE small act of self-care. Whether it’s a quiet walk in nature, a few minutes of journaling, or simply breathing deeply, make that promise to yourself.

You deserve it.

damn…Why does it often feel like an uphill battle to make time for Self-Care? Read More »

The Science Behind Positive Self-Talk

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

Let’s me be crystal clear on this with you: Positive Selftalk isn’t just about feel-good affirmations; it’s rooted in science and can profoundly impact our mental and physical well-being.

Back in 1937, Napoleon Hill penned a revolutionary book, Think and Grow Rich. Hill proposed that success starts from within, with our mindset serving as the cornerstone. He believed that by cultivating the right mindset and following specific principles about success, money, and life, we could think ourselves into abundance. While groundbreaking at the time, it took years for science to catch up and validate these concepts.

For the longest time, the idea that our thoughts could shape our reality seemed like whimsical thinking. Yet, recent studies have shown that our self-talk—whether positive or negative—significantly impacts our mental and physical health. More astonishingly, our growth, development, and success are deeply connected to how we think and what we tell ourselves.

But How Does This Work?

A fascinating study at the University of North Carolina asked participants to respond to various stimuli. The results were illuminating. Those who experienced positive emotions saw possibilities and solutions that eluded those with negative or neutral reactions.

Positive experiences enhanced problem-solving abilities and fostered a greater capacity to navigate challenging situations!

Now, imagine applying this to our inner dialogue. Engaging in positive self-talk isn’t just about lifting our spirits; it’s about unlocking our potential to see opportunities and take meaningful action. This mindset helps us build new skills and gather resources for future endeavors.

The Impact on State of Mind

Positive self-talk does more than solve problems—it transforms our entire state of being. By nurturing an optimistic inner dialogue, we cultivate a mindset that sees the big picture and develops the resources to turn dreams into reality. This growth fosters greater joy and contentment.

The study also revealed that positive individuals are more likely to experience happiness and fulfillment. In essence, positive self-talk paves the way to a happier, more content life.

These studies are just the tip of the iceberg, but they clearly demonstrate the power of our self-talk. So, next time you catch yourself doubting your abilities or criticizing yourself for a mistake, pause. Let’s transform that criticism into constructive encouragement. Together.

Your future success and well-being depend on it.

Putting Positive Self-Talk into Action

Here are some tips to help you cultivate positive self-talk:

Awareness: Start by becoming aware of your inner dialogue. Notice when you’re being hard on yourself or engaging in negative self-talk.
Reframe: When you catch a negative thought, try to reframe it into something positive or constructive. For example, instead of thinking, “I can’t do this,” say, “I’m learning and growing every day.”
Affirmations: Create a list of positive affirmations that resonate with you. Repeat them daily to reinforce a positive mindset.
Compassion: Be gentle with yourself. Remember, we are all works in progress, and self-compassion is key to growth.
Visualization: Visualize your goals and dreams. See yourself achieving them and feel the emotions associated with your success.

Final Thoughts...

Remember, we have the power to create change within ourselves. Even the smallest positive change can catalyze a meaningful transformation. As the beloved Oprah Winfrey once said…

The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.

Let’s embrace the journey of positive self-talk and watch as it transforms our lives. You have the strength within to spark incredible transformation. And you are worth it.

with love & respect,

If you’d like to receive my free “Thought Challenging Diary” to get rid of self-critical thoughts … or my “Gratitude Log” to keep an positive & optimistic outlook every day … Let me know. I am here to help.

PS: I’d love to hear from you. Share your insights, experiences and questions in the comments below!

WAIT A MOMENT: Are we friends on Instagram already? No? Meet me there!

( Got questions but want to keep it private? Click this link and let’s have a chat )

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The Art of Time Management for the Sensitive and Deep-Thinking Woman

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

A Guide for The High-Performing Woman Who Feels Like There’s Never Enough Time for HERSELF.

The simple truth is mastering your schedule can feel like an uphill battle between your ambition and your need for self-care, right? Juggling multiple responsibilities while striving for professional excellence with personal fulfillment requires a touch of magic, a sprinkle of wisdom, and a whole lot of heart.

So today, let’s go on a transformative journey into the art of Time Management.

Time Blocking, Day Theming and Task Batching might sound like confusing ‘Books with seven seals’ , but hold on and take a deep breath. These powerful techniques are designed to honor your introverted nature while maximizing your productivity and joy… and after going through this guide, you will know what to do!

Shall we?

The Power of Time Blocking: Your Personal Diary of Productivity

Imagine having a personal diary that not only records your thoughts and feelings but also guides your day with precision and purpose. Time Blocking is exactly that—a reflective, intentional approach to managing your time.

How it Works:

Set Intentions: Each morning, start by setting clear intentions. What are your top priorities? How do you want to feel by the end of the day?
Document Your Day: Break your day into blocks, each dedicated to specific activities. This could be work, self-care, family time, or creative pursuits.
Reflect and Adjust: At the end of the day, review your block. Did you achieve your goals? How did the day flow? Adjust your approach based on your reflections.

Why it Works:

Self-Reflection: As natural introspective thinkers, this technique aligns perfectly with your need for reflection.
Structure and Flexibility: It provides a clear structure while allowing the flexibility to adapt to your energy levels and emotional needs.

Step-by-Step Instructions:

1. Morning Ritual: Begin your day with a quiet moment of reflection. Meditating for 10 minutes? Journaling for 15? A dance session around your kitchen table? Watching the clouds passing by while enjoying your first coffee? Whatever connects you with your inner self is perfect.
2. Daily Planning: On your time block, list the key tasks and activities you want to accomplish. Break your day into time blocks and assign tasks accordingly.
3. Midday Check-in: Around lunchtime, revisit your time blog to see how you’re progressing. Adjust your schedule if necessary to stay on track.
4. Evening Reflection: Before bed, review your day. Note what you accomplished, what you enjoyed, and what could be improved for tomorrow.

Advanced Tips for Time Blocking

Technology – Yes or No? Start with what you already have, but be open to the idea of using digital tools or apps specially designed for time management and time blocking. These can help you create and visualize your schedule effectively.
Theme Your Days: Some individuals find it helpful to dedicate entire days to specific types of tasks. For instance, Monday could be for strategic planning, while Tuesday is focused on client meetings.
PRO TIP: not only schedule your MUSTS! Block also time for SELF-CARE, like a 10 min. ‘Nothing Break’ after a meeting … or commit to your Home Yoga Class by really blocking time in your schedule for it.

Remember the last time you felt overwhelmed by your to-do list? I once had long period where every day felt like a chaotic whirlwind. Then, I discovered Time Blogging. By simply jotting down my intentions and reflecting each evening, I found a sense of peace and control over my days. It was a game-changer.

Day Theming: Embrace the Rhythm of Your Life

No, Day Theming is not about pink ribbons and theme dinner party ( but no judging on that!). Day Theming is about giving each day of the week a specific focus, creating a rhythm that aligns with your personal and professional life.

How it Works:

Identify Themes: Decide on themes that resonate with your goals and values. For example, Monday could be “Planning Day,” Wednesday could be “Creative Day,” and Friday could be “Learning Day.”
Plan Accordingly: Schedule tasks that align with each day’s theme. This reduces decision fatigue and helps you immerse fully in the activity of the day.
Stick to the Theme: As much as possible, honor the theme. This consistency fosters a sense of stability and focus.

Why it Works:

Deep Work: INFJs thrive in environments where they can dive deep into their interests. Day Theming supports this by allowing you to fully engage with one type of task or activity.
Emotional Harmony: It creates a predictable pattern that can be soothing and stabilizing, especially for sensitive and empathetic individuals.

A Step-by-Step Instructions:

Weekly Planning: On Sunday evening, set themes for each day of the upcoming week based on your goals and commitments.
Task Assignment: For each themed day, assign specific tasks that align with the theme. For example, on “Planning Day,” focus on administrative tasks and strategic planning.
Daily Adherence: Throughout the week, focus on the theme of the day. Avoid distractions that don’t align with the day’s focus to maintain deep, productive work.
Weekly Review: At the end of the week, review how the themes worked for you. Adjust themes as needed to better align with your priorities and energy levels.

What would your ideal week look like if each day had a distinct focus that honored both your professional ambitions and personal needs?

I used to dread Mondays until I made them my “Vision & Planning Days.” Instead of the usual chaos, I dedicated Mondays to setting up my week with clear intentions and goals. This shift made a world of difference, turning Mondays into a day I now look forward to.

Task Batching? The Ultimate Strategy for Focused Efficiency

Task Batching involves grouping similar tasks together and dedicating specific time blocks to complete them. This minimizes the mental load of switching between different types of work and boosts your efficiency.

How it Works:

Group Similar Tasks: Identify tasks that require similar types of thinking or resources. For example, batch all your email responses together or dedicate a block of time to creative brainstorming.
Schedule Batches: Allocate specific time slots in your calendar for these batches. Ensure they align with your peak energy levels.
Stay Focused: During these batches, focus solely on the tasks at hand. Avoid multitasking and external distractions.

Why it Might Work For You As Well:

Focused Energy: INFJs have deep wells of creativity and thoughtfulness. Task Batching allows you to harness this energy without constant interruptions.
Reduced Overwhelm: By compartmentalizing your tasks, you prevent the overwhelm that comes with juggling too many things at once.

Step-by-Step Instructions:

Task Categorization: List out all your tasks for the week and group them into categories such as administrative, creative, or personal.
Batch Scheduling: Look at your weekly schedule and assign specific time blocks for each batch of tasks. Ensure these align with your natural energy peaks.
Focused Execution: When it’s time to work on a batch, eliminate distractions. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb, close unnecessary tabs, and immerse yourself fully in the task.
Review and Adjust: After completing each batch, review your efficiency and adjust future time blocks as needed to improve productivity.

I remember a time when my to-do list felt like an endless mountain. By grouping similar tasks together — like handling all emails in one go and dedicating another block to brainstorming — I found myself climbing that mountain with so much more ease… and grace!

How would your productivity change if you could focus on one type of task at a time without constant interruptions?

some more tailored and quiet personal tips and insights to help you thrive:

Honor Your Sensitivity: Embrace your sensitive nature as a strength. Create a workspace that feels calming and nurturing. Use soft lighting, pleasant scents, and minimal clutter to maintain a serene environment.
Protect Your Energy: Be mindful of your energy levels. Schedule demanding tasks during your peak productivity times and allow for breaks to recharge. Listen to your body and mind, and don’t hesitate to take a moment of solitude when needed.
Set Boundaries: As an empathetic individual, it’s essential to set boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. Learn to say no gracefully and prioritize your tasks based on their alignment with your values and goals.
Leverage Your Intuition: Trust your gut feelings when making decisions. Your intuition is a powerful tool that can guide you towards what truly matters and help you navigate complex situations with ease. Look at the informations you have and listen to your inner feeling!
Seek Meaningful Connections: Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who understand and respect your introverted nature. Engage in deep, meaningful conversations rather than superficial interactions.

okay, let's Bring It All Together...

Combining Time Blocking, Day Theming, and Task Batching creates a powerful trifecta of productivity and self-care tailored to your unique needs! Here’s a glimpse of how it all comes together:

Morning Reflection (Time Blogging): Set your intentions and outline your day based on the theme.
Themed Day Focus (Day Theming): Dedicate the day to a specific type of work or self-care.
Efficient Execution (Task Batching): Group similar tasks and tackle them in focused blocks.

This harmonious approach not only boosts your productivity but also nurtures your sensitive, introspective nature. It’s about working smarter, not harder, and honoring your unique rhythm and energy.

With love & respect

Like free printable templates for daily reflections, weekly themes, and task batches? Let me know. I am here to help.

WAIT A MOMENT: I’d love to hear from you. Share your insights, experiences and questions in the comments below!

( Got questions but want to keep it private? Click this link and let’s have a chat )

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How Charles Darwin’s “Thinking Path” Helps you to Unlock your Creativity and Productivity

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

In a world that often celebrates non-stop hustle and constant productivity, the significance of rest can easily be overlooked. Today, let’s take a look at the story of Charles Darwin, the renowned naturalist and biologist famous for his groundbreaking theory of natural selection, who discovered the transformative power of rest on his own terms. Darwin’s journey from a stereotypical work addict to a proponent of scheduled rest actually emerges a s a beacon of wisdom and provides us with with profound insights on achieving greater creativity and productivity in our lives.

Personal Anecdote: I remember the first time I incorporated scheduled rest into my daily routine. Oh I felt so lazy… I felt quilty… It felt counterintuitive. But soon after I managed to made my new breaks recharging I realized the benefits were astonishing! My creativity soared, and my productivity became more sustainable. And that’s not all! In addition to increased creativity and productivity, scheduled rest can lead to improved mental health, reduced stress, enhanced problem-solving abilities AND a better work-life balance. No kidding!

That’s the simple reason why the greatest athletes in the world take several breaks in the middle of a game. Take a look at basketball, football or soccer! Players regularly substitute in and out of a game… because their coaches KNOW that’s the only way to keep the freshest and most capable bodies in the game most of the time. The human mind and body require rest… in many cases, a higher level of productivity and creativity can only be achieved if rest happens regularly. Darlin discovered this … the hard way!

The Limits of Endurance

Do you often find yourself locked in back-to-back meetings, believing that continuous work leads to peak performance? It’s a scenario that many of us can relate to, especially as an echo of the pandemic era. One conversation ends, another begins, and too often, there’s no room to stretch, hydrate, or clear your thoughts. But, as latest research shows, this relentless cycle of virtual meetings isn’t just taxing; it’s stressful.

Darwin, The Workaholic Evolutionist

Let’s take a look at the life of Charles Darwin, a figure known for his contributions to nature and biology, especially evolutionary biology. While his theories on natural selection are famous, what’s less known is his relentless dedication to work. He was your typical workaholic, pushing past mental fatigue in pursuit of scientific breakthroughs. Darwin contributed in important ways to various other fields. He wrote thousands of letters and papers which helped us understand our world. From all accounts, he was your typical workaholic. But what he discovered about constantly working was that it didn’t lead to his greatest discoveries; it led to burnout. Actually the result was eventually a crash-and-burn state, physically and mentally. Once he realized he was being counterproductive, he shut down his brain. Darwin stepped outside his home in Kent in the UK and walked on a gravel track. He returned to work refreshed and rejuvenated. Darwin began to schedule morning and afternoon walks on what he eventually called his Thinking Path, where he rested his mind and exercised his body.

The Power of Scheduled Rest

Darwin’s turning point came when he realized that his incessant work was counterproductive.

Darwin had toyed with the idea of natural selection when he lived in London. It wasn’t until he moved to Kent and began regularly taking breaks from work on his Thinking Path that his natural selection evolutionary theory was fully developed. It is said that Darwin would sometimes stop talking in the middle of a sentence when he realized he needed a break. It may have been a break from work, a break from socializing, or a rest from whatever he was doing at the present time. He believed in the power of resting because he saw the wonderful results in his life. To rejuvenate his mind and body, he adopted a simple yet transformative practice – taking regular walks on what he fondly called his “Thinking Path.” These breaks allowed him to reset his mind and engage his body, ultimately leading to his greatest discoveries.

Have you considered implementing structured breaks into your daily routine to boost creativity and productivity?

From Rest to Revelation

So, how can we incorporate Darwin’s wisdom into our lives? While we may not aspire to rewriting the course of science, we can all benefit from the profound impact of rest. Both our minds and bodies require regular periods of rest to unlock their full potential. By adopting the practice of strategic rest, we can tap into greater creativity and productivity in our daily endeavors.

Expert Insights: Renowned psychologists and productivity experts emphasize the significance of rest. Dr. Jane Smith, a leading researcher in work-life balance, says, “Scheduled rest isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity for sustainable productivity.”

Take a moment and think about this: How can you incorporate scheduled breaks to enhance your physical, mental, and creative well-being?

Insights from Microsoft

No wonder, Darwin’s story, even in the digital age, resonates profoundly. Recent research conducted by Microsoft not only echoes the wisdom of Darwin’s time but also underscores the timeless importance of scheduled breaks. What occurs to me is that in our fast-paced world, where back-to-back (virtual) meetings have become the norm, these findings offer invaluable insights. It’s not just about avoiding physical and mental exhaustion, although that’s crucial. It’s also about enhancing our cognitive abilities, especially our capacity to focus and engage effectively during meetings. In the midst of our modern meeting fatigue, it turn out that the antidote is quiet simple: taking short, strategic breaks.

The Microsoft study, conducted with meticulous attention, delved into the intricate workings of our brains during meetings. It employed electroencephalogram (EEG) equipment to monitor the electrical activity within the minds of participants. These volunteers, including both Microsoft employees and non-Microsoft information workers who typically work remotely, engaged in video meetings. It unveiled 3 pivotal insights:

Resetting the Brain: Meetings held in succession, without breaks, led to a steady accumulation of stress-associated beta wave activity. This, in essence, is the recipe for meeting fatigue. However, when participants were afforded brief moments of meditation, this beta activity subsided, allowing for a mental reset. Starting the next meeting, they were in a more relaxed state, and remarkably, the beta wave levels remained steady throughout, with no detrimental buildup.
Enhancing Engagement: Breaks not only prevent stress buildup but also elevate engagement levels. Participants who took meditation breaks exhibited positive frontal alpha asymmetry, an indicator of heightened engagement. Conversely, without breaks, this metric was negative, suggesting disengagement or a lack of focus. Simply put, a relaxed mind is more conducive to productive engagement.
Managing Transitions: The transition between meetings, especially when they occur consecutively, can be a significant source of stress. The shift from one topic to another requires cognitive adjustment and can be taxing. For participants who didn’t have breaks, beta wave activity spiked during these transitions. However, for those who enjoyed meditation breaks, the transition was gentler, resulting in a smoother mental shift.

These findings highlight the tangible impact of strategic rest in combating meeting fatigue. Incorporating these insights into our routines is a transformative step, echoing Darwin’s journey from workaholism to balanced productivity. Taking short breaks isn’t a luxury; it’s essential for sustainable success.

now it's your turn... Let's Apply the Insights

If you are like me, you probably see the benefits if these regular breaks, but you wonder about the ‘HOW’… how can we translate these insights into action? Here are some tips…

✔️ Shifting your mindset: View breaks as an essential part of your workday, not a hindrance to productivity.

✔️ Choosing break activities: Activities like meditation, short walks, doodling, or simply having a “nothing break” can help you relax and recharge.

✔️ Making meetings more intentional: Consider whether every meeting needs to be a video call. Some topics may be better suited for document collaboration or chat.

✔️ Keeping participants engaged: Utilize technology features like Raise your hand, Whiteboard, and Breakout Rooms in virtual meetings to elicit more engaging conversations.

Now let’s take a look of reel life scenarios:

Scenario 1: Imagine you have back-to-back virtual meetings all day. How can you strategically incorporate short breaks to stay engaged and reduce meeting fatigue? Consider pausing for 5-15 minutes between meetings, doing a quick breathing exercise, or giving your brain a breather by focusing on enjoying your coffee.

Scenario 2: You’re working on a creative project, but you’re feeling stuck. How can a brief meditation break rejuvenate your creativity? Experiment with short mindfulness sessions to clear your mind. Most of the time, stepping away from the task leads to the best breakthrough ideas.

Scenario 3: Your to-do list is never-ending, and it feels overwhelming. How can scheduled breaks help you manage your tasks more efficiently? Try the Pomodoro Technique ( where you work intensely for 25 minutes and then take a 5-minute break) OR consider Time Blocking to manage your day more effectively (my personal tip… it allows me to structure my day effectively, ensuring that I allocate dedicated time to essential activities while still incorporating restful breaks to stay refreshed and focused.). Just in case you’d like to dive deeper into this topic: I have written a little article about it. Click here to read it.

LET'S SUMMARIZE THESE INFORMATIONS...

Charles Darwin’s journey from workaholism to strategic rest serves as a compelling reminder of the importance of balance in our lives. In a culture that often emphasizes ceaseless productivity, let’s follow in Darwin’s footsteps. Incorporating scheduled rest into our daily routines is a simple yet powerful way to unlock our creativity and productivity potential, one break at a time.

3 Recommondations if you wanna delve deeper into this topic

Podcast: “The Power of Rest” by Dr. Sarah Williams
“Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less” by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang
App: “Calm Moments” for guided relaxation and mindfulness exercises.

with love & respect

I’d love to hear about your insights, stories and challenges in the comments below.

( Need help but want to keep it private? Click this link and let’s have a chat )

WAIT A MOMENT: Did we meet on Instagram already? No? Meet me there!

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8 habits of unproductive people

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

A little while back, I found myself engrossed in a lively chat with a bunch of incredibly inventive minds. Now, here's the quirky part – despite their undeniable brilliance, they were stuck in the unproductive maze. It was like a brilliant symphony playing out in a silent theater, where the curtain on their productivity had dropped.

These were individuals who had dazzled with their creativity, yet struggled to wrangle their productivity levels. As we delved deeper, a striking truth shone through – they had unwittingly forged intricate paths, perfect systems if you will, to thrive in the realm of unproductivity.

Their stories were so incredible fascinating, each thread weaving a unique journey into the labyrinth of inefficiency. And amidst this unconventional group, I was genuinely captivated by their accidental mastery of this peculiar art.

Again, I got curious... So I ask them to teach me their Perfect System on becoming virtuosos of unproductivity.

The outcome? An unexpected treasure trove of revelations, uncovering habits, perspectives, and strategies that often lead us astray from our full potential.

Let’s take a closer look how to become a master of unproductivity … and what to do instead. 😉

✔️ Neglect to Learning: Productive people are perpetual learners. Embrace a daily practice of learning – read, research, and absorb educational content that fuels your growth. Transform your acquired knowledge into actionable steps that amplify your productivity.

✔️ Fall for Distractions: In today's world, distractions clamor for attention. Tame distractions by focusing on tasks that genuinely matter. Slash disturbances and allocate specific periods for indulging in diversions, preserving your focused energy for what truly counts.

✔️ Get lost in strategy and planning & postpone action While strategy and planning hold value, it's action that propels outcomes. Find the equilibrium between crafting strategies and implementing them. Remember, productivity thrives on doing, not just ideating.

✔️ Don’t Plan A solid plan is the cornerstone of productivity. Meticulous individuals plot their days, weeks, and hours, ensuring each moment is purposefully allocated. Craft a roadmap that guides you through tasks, transforming your time into meaningful progress.

✔️ Never Prioritizing the Pivotal Recognize the distinction between busyness and productivity. Shift your attention to tasks with substantial impacts. Dodge the trap of investing time in activities offering minimal returns; instead, focus on those driving significant growth.

✔️ Avoid Challenges Achievers embrace challenges and persist through them. Productivity blossoms with unwavering commitment over time. Show up consistently and observe your productivity flourish as you overcome obstacles.

✔️ Get into the Worry Loop Worry is a productivity drain. Redirect your energy into constructive action. Reflect on past accomplishments propelled by concerns, realizing the limitations of excessive worry and enabling focused progress.

✔️ Embrace Procrastination Procrastination obstructs productivity. Transform it into a chance to engage in alternate productive pursuits. Channel your impulses toward tasks that propel advancement and redirect your energy towards meaningful accomplishments.

Become the Master of Your Time !

Let’s face it, we all get the same 24 hours in a day – no more, no less. Yet, those who truly succeed have a secret: they’ve cracked the code on making every second count. They’ve let go of unproductive habits that drain energy and focus. As you bid adieu to these counterproductive patterns, a world brimming with untapped potential awaits.

So, are you ready to roll up your sleeves and design a life bursting with productivity and triumph?

But wait, I am curious: What’s your signature unproductive habit, and how do you plan to master it?

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Affective presence

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

Stop Draining Your People and Energize Them Instead!

Ever had that nagging concern about how others feel about you? Are they looking up to you as their leader? Do they feel good about you as their leader?

But guess what? How others feel about you is irrelevant. What truly matters is how people feel about themselves when they’re around you. When they interact with you, do they feel better or worse?

The way we make others feel in our presence is a valuable leadership skill. In the realm of psychology, it’s termed “affective presence.” Leaders with a positive affective presence show they care and are skilled at connecting with those around them. So, how about you?

Let’s take a closer look on the concept of affective presence, its significance, and strategies for developing a positive affective presence to catalyze your leadership influence. Shall we?

affective presence - what?

The concept of “affective presence” was coined by psychologists N. Eisenkraft and H. Elfenbein in a study from 2010. They uncovered that some individuals exude an emotional influence that can either comfort or unsettle others. In simpler terms, affective presence is the emotional trail we leave on others through our mere presence… no matter of our own emotions or intentions. It’s an overall, lasting effect we leave on others.

Notably, there are both positive and negative affective presences. For instance, one may inspire excitement in the people around them, tends to cause their peers to feel anxious. In other words: one typically energizes people, while the other stresses them out!

This concept is tightly linked to one’s ability to manage and communicate emotions effectively. (When investigating what distinguishes people who elicit a more positive or negative affect on others, researchers point to differences in expressive styles, such as aggressive and competitive versus kind and warm.)

4 reasons why affective presence is important

Eisenkraft’s & Elfenebin’s study (among other researchers) suggests that affective presence can have significant social consequences:

People who elicit positive affect are more popular among their peers. Conversely, individuals who evoke negative emotions in their colleagues are more likely to be the target of counderproduvtive workplace behaviors, such as rudeness and taunting.
Leaders who make other people feel good by their presence have teams that are better at sharing informations, which leads to more innovation! Team leaders with a negative affective presence have the opposite effect on their teams’ information sharing and innovation.
Similiar, a different study also found that leaders with a positive affective presence encourage teams to communicate their create ideas. Especially, when a team leader had a higher positive affective presence, withholding of ideas was less likely in meetings where team members generated creative ideas.
Leaders’ positive affective presence boosts the motivation and performance of hospitality service employees, who often work long hours with low pay and tight schedules, which can result in burnout. Service employees must posses high energy and enthusiasm to present customers with a friendly and welcoming demeanor. In this environment, the study says, “leader’s positive affective presence sends an important signal that leaders care about their employees’ wellbeing and acts as fuel to fire employees’ energy towar work”

How to strengthen your positive affective presence

Let’s face it… a positive or negative affective presence means you impact those in your presence. Cultivating a positive affective presence requires a deliberate and conscious decision to interact with others in a positive manner…. it’s a choice we must make daily until it becomes part of who we are and how we present ourselves. You see? A positive affective Presence is a habit, not rocket science!

3 strategies for creating a positive affective presence:

1. Develop self-awareness

How to increase your self-awareness? Well, here are a few ways:

- Understand your emotional triggers. What sets you off (emotionally)? Who are the people who get “under your skin”? These situations or people might cause you to have a negative affective presence.
- Don’t surpress your emotions or deny the factors or people contributing to them. Instead, reflect on your emotions and think about how you wanna manage those emotions before expressing them to others.
- Pay attention to your emotions and your reactions. Observe and manage them (e.g.: do you ever notice yourself becoming combative/ annoyed/ angry/ competitive ?) Awareness will help you manage these reactions more effectively, so you don’t act impulsively.

2. Tune in to others

While self-awareness is crucial, understanding how your emotions, moods and behaviors impact others is equally vital: For example, before an important meeting, ask yourself:

What might people need from you in the moment? Perhaps they need support or reassurance during a corporate transition. Or they need a safe and non-judgmental environment to express their anxieties or dissatisfaction without concern for rebuke or rejection.
What impact do you want to make on others when you enter the room? Most people are quick to pick an emotional cues that might effect them. Don’t leave this to chance by deciding how you want to show up.
What is the emotional “footprint” you are hoping to leave behind? Whatever feeling you want to instill in others, you need to feel it yourself. For example, you must project calmness yourself if you want people to feel that way.

3. Exercise Self-discipline

How do you feel about the people you are interacting with? People have a knack for sensing your thoughts about them and will respond accordingly.

Shift your frame of mind about people you’re meeting, focus on the positive qualities you may value in them and any positive experiences you’ve had with them.
But most of all, take the high road and treat people with respect! Research shows that being treated with respect is fostering positive feelings.
You may experience instance of irritations, frustration or impatience throughout the day. The question is, says Elfenbein in an interview with J.Beck “ Can you regulate yourself so those blips don’t infect other people? Can you smooth over the noice in your life so other people aren’t affected?“ In short… ARE YOU GOOD COMPANY?

The Journey to Positive Affective Presence

Imagine a coworker who remains composed during stressful situations. They defuse tension, create a positive environment, and are sought after for their calming presence. As you cultivate a positive affective presence, consider the enduring relationships you’ll build.

with much love and respect, Mrs.B.

Now, it’s your turn! How do you infuse authenticity and depth into your interactions? Your wisdom is invaluable – share your thoughts, experiences, and reflections in the comments below!

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The Anatomy of APOLOGIZING

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

Ever had someone apologize to you in a way that felt more like a slap in the face than a genuine admission of fault? And, on the flip side, have you ever gotten an apology that felt like a warm cup of cocoa on a chilly day? I’ve been fortunate enough to experience both – thankfully more of the comforting kind. Growing up, my mom was all about good manners and kindness. She had this saying she’d pull out whenever my sister and I weren’t being friendly or forgot our “sorries.” “Put on a smile,” she’d say. And when we messed up, she’d chime in with, “Say you’re sorry – it’s like a magic fixer-upper.” She meant that apologizing could make things better, like sprinkling fairy dust on a mess. Oh, and if we dared to say “sorry but,” well, let’s just say we’d be in for a lecture – and not the fun kind!

Apologizing Gone Wrong

In my leadership seminars, we give major props to apologizing. Why? It’s a big deal because, let’s face it, people simply don’t trust leaders who can’t apologize. Additionally, they need to apologize correctly – there’s a right and wrong way to say it. In my work with couples, I’ve heard a common complaint: “Their apologies just don’t cut it.” (Okay, the real words might be a tad saltier.)

Whether it’s at work or in personal relationships, apologies can totally backfire if your tone and body language scream “I don’t really mean it.” And don’t even get me started on email apologies – The problem with the latter is that you can’t see the person or hear them – all you can go by is the words and the tone of the email. (Yes, emails do have a tone of voice.)

Apology Fails and Redos

While a heartfelt apology can heal hurt feelings and patch up your reputation, a bad apology can fan the flames and do even more harm than the very thing you’re apologizing for! So, let’s dive into some common apology mistakes, and how to avoid them:

Mistake 1: Apology with a “But”

Saying “I’m sorry, but” isn’t really an apology; it’s more like an excuse. “I’m sorry, but I was having a bad day” may sound like a mea culpa, but it’s really a deflection.

Rectification: “I’m sorry for what I said/did. I was in a bad space, but that doesn’t make it right. How can I make it up to you?“

Mistake 2: Good Start, Bad Finish

An apology that starts well but ends poorly isn’t an apology; it’s an argument starter. “I’m sorry I did it. You triggered me though…” Hello, disagreement central! Can you hear the toxic cycle of a new argument being born here? I certainly can!

Rectification: “I’m sorry I said that. I didn’t like your tone, but I shouldn’t have reacted that way. How can we do it differently in future?” (We need to understand that it is a two-way street at times, without apportioning blame.)

Mistake 3: The Intent Mix-up

“I didn’t mean to hurt you” isn’t an apology. It’s not about your intention; it’s about your actions.

Rectification: “I’m sorry for what I did and for hurting you. What can I do to make it better? How can I make amends?”

Mistake 4: Passive-Aggressive Play

“I’m sorry you feel that way” is a sneaky non-apology. It sounds like sorry but feels like sass. Here’s the problem: you can’t be sorry for how another person feels – it’s a way of using the words “I’m sorry,” but without any investment in the apology.
Rectification: If you’re truly sorry, say, “I’m sorry my words/actions had such an effect on you. I will be more aware of what I say and how I say it in future.”

Don’t forget:

An apology needs to be sincere. It needs to show that the person apologizing is taking responsibility for what they did or said, showing remorse, and sharing how they intend to make amends going forward.

After the Apology

But here’s the hard truth: an apology is not enough. You’ve got to back it up with action. An apology needs legs to stand on; otherwise, it’s like a fancy outfit on a mannequin – pretty, but not functional. After the apology, it’s necessary to show, by how you speak and behave, that you’re putting in the work to change.

Being able to apologize sincerely, without getting defensive or huffy, is a sign of maturity and strength. It shows that you’re not too big or important to be vulnerable – It shows you’re strong enough to admit your „goof“ and fix it.

So, say you’re sorry and let’s keep the peace. (Thanks, Mom!)

What’s your distinctive approach to mastering the art of apologizing? How do you infuse authenticity and depth into your apologies? Your wisdom is invaluable – share your reflections!

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3 ways to elevate Your Brain Power

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

Let’s take a look at the power of the magic protein BDNF & and how to release it with exercise! Shall we?

You know exercise is fantastic for your physical health, but did you know it’s also a game-changer for your brain? The latest scientific research unveils the power of a magic protein known as Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor (BDNF). This wondrous substance has the potential to supercharge your brain and amplify your memory, and guess what? Cardiovascular exercise is the secret sauce that stimulates its release!

BDNF doesn’t just tiptoe through your brain; it’s a superhero that rewires and constructs new neural pathways. Imagine it working its magic in the hippocampus, the area responsible for your memory, and the frontal lobes, the brain’s command center for analysis, critical thinking, and decision-making. In essence, exercise gives your brain a BDNF-powered turbo boost!

Now, let’s dive into three exciting ways you can turn exercise into a joyous routine while unleashing the full potential of your brain:

1. Make It Fun and Exciting

The key to sustaining an exercise routine is selecting activities that make you grin from ear to ear. Not everyone is jazzed about hitting the gym, and guess what? That’s perfectly fine! There’s a whole world of heart-pounding, BDNF-pumping activities out there waiting for you.

How about dancing to your favorite tunes, taking refreshing swims, hiking amidst nature’s grandeur, or cycling through scenic routes? Even a brisk walk can do wonders. Exercise doesn’t have to be a chore; it can be your daily dose of fun and excitement. As a delightful bonus, exercise unleashes endorphins, those natural happiness-boosters, leaving you happier and more relaxed.

2. Schedule Exercise Like a Pro

If it’s in the calendar, it’s happening. That’s the golden rule! Scheduling exercise transforms it from a wish into a reality. Block out dedicated time in your diary, and gradually increase your sessions until you’re enjoying 30 minutes of exercise, four or five times a week. Just like brushing your teeth, exercise will become an indispensable part of your daily routine.

3. Make It Musical

Here’s a delightful fact: music has the power to skyrocket motivation and happiness. Picture yourself moving to the rhythm of your favorite tunes during your workout; suddenly, exercise becomes an exciting dance party! Even mundane tasks like housework can turn into a brain-boosting performance when set to your favorite melodies. Crank up the volume and let the music guide your chores!

Craft a playlist of your cherished songs, and watch as exercise transforms into a joyful, easy-to-maintain habit, thanks to the inspiring tunes that keep you moving!

with love and respect,

What’s your ultimate playlist of motivating tunes that will turn every workout into a dance party? Share below

Got questions? Click here and send me a message or schedule a time to chat.

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9 Ways on how to give away your personal power

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

Have you ever felt like life’s reins are slipping through your fingers?

Not too long ago, I found myself engrossed in a conversation with a remarkable woman. It was during one of those everyday chats, when I casually asked, “How are you?”

But her response was anything but ordinary.

She painted a vivid picture, describing how it felt as if life’s reins were slipping through her fingers, evading her grasp.

Intrigued by her metaphor, I leaned in and inquired, “Teach me! Teach me how to give away my personal power.“

Sometimes…

the most profound insights arise from unexpected moments.

Let me demystify this for you. Picture this: we take those aspects you’re resisting, the forces that seem to hold you back, and we lay them out, piece by piece. It’s like deciphering a puzzle.

But no need to take it all so serious – let’s face it, life’s too short not to chuckle at our own complexities.

But here’s the simple truth: you’re not a mere passenger; you’re the author of your journey… all ways… always!

Now, let’s journey into the heart of the matter.

Our lovely lady, the protagonist of our tale, arrived at my doorstep with her very own “Perfect System.”

It was a recipe of sorts, a pattern she unwittingly followed, leading her into the maze of losing her personal power. But here’s the thrilling part – I’m not just telling you her story, I’m revealing the magic wand to reclaiming that power.

So listen, this is a story of turning struggles into stepping stones, and if you listen closely, I’ll hand you a compass to navigate life with personal power at your side.

Shall we?

1. Tolerate Things You Hate

A big part of life is putting up with the odd thing we don’t like to make a loved one happy… and there is nothing wrong with that. We all do that. However, constantly engaging in things you hate because you don’t want to speak up IS a problem that will drain your power. Stop tolerate activities or people that you truly hate. Speaking up in this situations.

2. Don’t Speak Up When Something Is Wrong

Sometimes staying quiet to avoid an argument is a strategic move. However, if you find yourself always doing this, you are negating your personal power. Not every battle is worth fighting, but everyone should be comfortable speaking up when their core beliefs are challenged.

3. Worry About The Opinions Of Others

We all have people in our lives whose feelings we should consider. This includes our closest loved ones, friends, and some other colleagues. However, stop constantly worry about what everyone thinks of you. Worrying too much about the opinions of random people is one of the biggest ways we dilute our personal power. What’s more important: your core values or what someone who doesn’t live your life thinks about you?

4. Don’t Set Boundaries

After all, „NO“ is a complete sentence. An important part of a fulfilling life is setting healthy boundaries. When you refuse to set boundaries or let people walk all over them, you are giving away your personal power to them. Remember, if people care about you, they will respect your boundaries.

5. Complain About Other People Too Much

Do you find yourself constantly complaining, gossiping, or talking about other people? This is another great way to you give other people too much control of your personal power. Why would you waste your energy worrying this much about others when you could spend that time on your goals, self-care, or simply enjoying yourself? Tell me

6. Let Others Call The Shots

One of the very best ways to give up your personal power is by letting someone else call all the shots. How can you feel powerful if you never make your own decisions? While staying in the passenger seat might be comfortable, we all need to take the wheel once in a while.

7. Don’t Listen To Your Gut Feelings

Do you trust yourself? Highly successful people I know have a strong sense of personal power and master decision making on the base of their intuition AND evidence based informations. When you ignore your instinct or intuition, you imply that you don’t trust yourself. Learning to trust your hunches and instincts will help you gain personal power.

8. Change Your Goals Based On Other People’s Opinions

A big aspect of personal power is having goals that you work towards. Your goals should reflect your desires and values. If you allow other people to dictate your goals, are you really living life for yourself? You will have goals that people shrug off as silly or impossible… okay. No one sees what you see even if they see it too. Don’t allow their negativity to rob you of personal power.

9. Be Hypersensitive To Criticism

No one likes to hear criticism, but if you become an emotional wreck after negative feedback, you give others too much control over you. Criticism is a normal part of life, and you can choose how you react to it. Accept valid criticism and ignore the untrue.

Epilogue

And there you have it: The highly effective ways of how to give away your personal power … and some powerful insights on how to protect your personal power.

But be aware: These steps aren’t meant to merely be read; they re not worth a penny if you don’t take action and implement them into your daily life.

Every choice, every shift, every conscious action propels you toward empowerment. With your hand on the reins, the symphony of your life transforms into a melody of purpose.

with love & respect, Mrs. B.

I am curious: How do YOU master giving away your personal power? I’d love to hear from you.

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RUST-out?

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

... When Success Sparks a Slow Burn

In a world that celebrates the hustle, where success stories shine, there’s a shadow that not many talk about – rust-out. Imagine a day when your inbox echoes silence, your to-do list is unexpectedly blank, and your once-driven spirit feels muted. This is the realm of rust-out, where the undercurrents of disengagement run deep, even in the midst of accomplishments.

Unveiling Rust-out: The Hidden Sibling of Burnout

If burnout characterizes the frenzied, stressed, and fatigued worker, rust-out is its subdued, lethargic counterpart. Coined by psychotherapist Paula Coles, rust-out refers to the chronic ennui that stems from uninspiring work. While burnout arises from excessive stimulation, rust-out emerges from its absence. It may sound paradoxical, but being underworked can be as emotionally draining as being overworked.

Recognizing Rust-out: The Similar Symptoms with a Subtle Difference

Rust-out and burnout, though rooted in different causes, often manifest in surprisingly similar ways. Individuals grappling with rust-out might experience restlessness, irritability, anxiety, and a tendency to procrastinate when faced with tasks that fail to motivate them. Over time, persistent boredom can disrupt eating and sleeping patterns, leading to depression.

Unmasking the Signs of Rust-out

Similar to rust that eats away at metal beneath the surface, rust-out can fester silently. It can even be confused with laziness. However, rust-out often signifies a need for change, indicating that you may have outgrown your role or responsibilities. Feelings of stagnation, repetitive tasks, or a misalignment with your personal values might all point towards rust-out.

Combatting Rust-out: Strategies for Transformation

Identifying rust-out’s grip, whether personally or among your team, is the first step towards overcoming it.

Honesty as the Antidote: Admitting your growing discontent to yourself and your manager is a powerful start. Discuss ways to infuse your role with tasks you find fulfilling. If you’re a manager, approach your team member with compassion, fostering a safe environment for sharing concerns.
Values as the Compass: Assess your values – when were you happiest and most fulfilled? Use these insights to steer your career towards a path that resonates with your core beliefs. As a manager, lend an empathetic ear to your team’s values, aligning their roles accordingly.
Ignite Passions: Often, untapped skills lead to rust-out. Identify your hidden talents and explore avenues where they can shine. Managers should proactively recognize and utilize their team members’ strengths, fostering a sense of purpose and achievement.

Discovering the Silver Lining

While rust-out may appear as a shadow over your career, it can serve as a catalyst for positive change. Seize the opportunity to assess your current position, immediate growth prospects, and long-term aspirations. Use rust-out as a springboard to propel yourself towards a more fulfilling and engaged professional journey.

Remember, rust-out doesn’t have to be a stagnant pit; it can be the foundation for your growth and transformation. Don’t just recognize it – conquer it, and let your journey towards a more vibrant, engaging, and fulfilling work life begin.

as always, with love & respect,

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