self-growth – Bimako.org

“what can i do, to make sure, I’m becoming the best version of myself?”

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

I recently was asked this great question again.⁠

And as sticky as it felt to me, writing this article, I hope my tips will help you to start becoming the very best version of yourself!
⁠
For me, becoming the best version of yourself is a very personal journey as we all are unique souls, gifted with unique talents, having individual perspectives to words like “Best version”, “Success” or even “Happiness”.

So there cannot be a “universal best practice” for this.⁠
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BUT … I wouldn’t write an article about this topic with nothing in my hands!

I have developed a GROWTH BLUEPRINT for my coaching clients… as you can see, the individual steps do not provide much detail. They offer you an overview. ⁠
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You see… the action and individual steps are up to you! ⁠
Your life & your journey are as unique as you are… and therefore each one of your steps has to be! But don’t you hazitat… I’ve got you back Right?⁠
⁠
But long story short.. Let’s take a look at the Blueprint! ⁠
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The Growth Blueprint

21 action steps to become your best version

SHOW UP⁠
Let’s say you want to run a marathon, but have no prior experience. The first step is lacing up you shoes and hitting the pavement. Right? Even if you only make it half a mile on your first training run, you’ll be about 2% closer to your ultimate goal than if you didn’t put in any work at all!

START FROM SCRATCH⁠
You don’t just happen to stumble upon the best version of yourself. You need to start from the beginning and take a high number of small steps in order to become what you envision.⁠
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MAKE SURE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF IS YOUR OWN… NOT SOMEONE ELSE’S!⁠ Don’t waste your energy and time trying to live up to what somebody else wants you to be.⁠

STOP LOOKING FOR A SECRET SHORTCUT Sorry… but there is no miraculous TRICK to the better version of yourself. Neither you take the whole journey… or you will never reach your destiny!⁠

DON’T GET LOST IN THE DETAILS Just make sure that you’re moving in the right general direction. You probably don’t have the knowledge you need today to know the shortest path to your happiness five years from today. But there is a pretty good chance you have some real good ideas about how to move in the right direction. Take the first step. And just than: take the next step. So many people get stuck in the details, that by the end of the day, nothing has happened at all. You don’t want to be one of those… RIGHT?

MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR OPPORTUNITIES Do you remember those days when the worldwide web was simply not existing. When we went to the public library to get our homework done? But now, it’s easier than ever to learn new skills! I mean the Internet has fundamentally changed our entire world! In the old days, knowledge was locked away in the minds of industry experts and in the pages of books that you needed to buy or check out from a library. But not anymore! Turn on your computer or use your mobile: Search what you are looking for. Find a platform and learn that skills you need for your next action steps! I cannot mention this enough: This is essential to becoming the best version of yourself.

JOURNAL “Translating” your thoughts into written narratives pushes you to think about the ideas in your head at a much deeper level.

Don’t know how to start a journal? No problem… I have written an blog article about this! Just click here.

STOP COUNTING THE HOURS! They don’t matter at all! Think about the last time you ran on a treadmill. If you looked down at the timer every few seconds, you probably didn’t enjoy your run. RIGHT or WRONG? It might made it far more difficult to run far. But what if you took the opposite approach? You plugged in your headphones, lost yourself in the music, and took it one stride at a time….while resisting any temptation to look at the timer at all. If you did this, you probably discovered that you enjoyed the run and made it pretty far. Right? In fact counting hours only slows you down from reaching your goal… or gets you stuck!

DON’T LET YOUR PRIDE GET IN THE WAY Reach out, ask questions, accept help from other people. “Asking for help” is not a sign of weakness! How could it? Most successful people needed help along the way, too.

CELEBRATE EVEN THE SMALL WINS Tell me: Is it common for you to remember things that have gone wrong in your live but forget things which have gone right!? Do this instead: Appreciating what you’re doing in the present gives you the motivation to keep making strides towards your ultimate goal. So start to celebrate even your smallest wins. Maybe you wanna start by writing down 5 small accomplishment or successes of today, which make you feel satisfied, happy or proud of yourself today… and don’t forget to notice them in your journal 😉 ⁠

STOP PRETENDING TO KNOW THINGS YOU DON’T KNOW Will you grow and learn something new if you pretend to already know anything? Probably not… Right?

EMBRACE FAILURE Yes,this is definitely NOT a fun point, I know. But do think “playing it safe” will help you become the best version of yourself? NEVER, EVER! You will not your best version inside of your comfort zone! . For heavens sake: getting fired could even be the best thing that ever happened to you (look at Rich Litvin)!

CHECK YOUR ATTITUDE

Remember: Your mindset is key to everything! It affects not only your daily life but also the lives of others around you. Make sure to check in with yourself and see how you could improve how you react to situations.

CALL YOUR “FAMILY” By “family” I am not pointing only to the family you were born in ( oh we all know, that some families can turn your life into a never ending nightmare… especially for the Hollidays). For me “Family” is something we build through our entire life. Your best friend from school you call every three years but it always feels like you never parent? That is one of your family members. Some may call this “your tribe”. Whatever you wanna name it.Here is one reason why you should keep the connections alive: Your family/Friends/tribe value you… they’ve got your back! And so do you. So whenever you are facing a struggle… call them: There is a pretty good chance you will learn a lesson from one of your peers, that is not available through any Google search and aren’t accessible to pretty much anyone else in the world!

STOP BELIEVING THE SOCIAL MEDIA SCOREBOARD Some people don’t play right on social media. We all know. People draw an extremely exaggerated version of life on Facebook, Instagram, TicTok, and other social platforms. And well: YES. It is fun sharing the good things… and hide the bad! But we all face Ups & Downs in Life… and if someone only shares the Ups… okay enjoy the show. But don’t take it for granted… and most off all don’t feel ashame just because you are living a true life. It is just Hide and Seek.

HAVE FUN BEING UNPRODUCTIVE IN YOUR “FREE TIME”

It is obvious: our society values productivity. But as this brought our modern society as far as it did… the same productivity brings a lot of pressure with it. But neither is our body a machine… nor is our mind. In fact, studies show that „free-time“ is actually good for us – not only leisure time been related to a healthier immune system, reduces stress, and even increased longvity, it also helps you cultivate a richer sense of self and self-efficacy… which is your belief in yourself.

If you still need reasons why sometimes the most productive thing to do… is to take a BREAK… click here

MAKE A WALK IN NATURE A ROUTINE

As much as a daily walk in the fresh air may seem like a waste of time at first place… its benefits are also numerous: Spending time outdoors, especially in green spaces, is one of the fastest ways to IMPROVE your HEALTH, your Happiness & your PRODUCTIVITY.

You are sceptical? Click here and read my blog post “How a walk in nature can boost your health and your success”.

STOP CREATING FOLLOWERS

INSTEAD: Help other people become the best version of themselves. Pay it forward. Doing so keep you motivated on your own path, and you’ll find that the lasting connections you build from helping others will greatly benefit you moving forward.

GET RID OF PERFECTIONISM

Trust me: nobody expect you to be perfect 24/7 just you.

Wonder if you have perfectionism traits? Click here to take a quiz!

Are you stressed out by your own perfectionism? Click here and discover 3 actions to paus perfectionism and feel relaxed again

VISUALIZE YOUR FUTURE What you visualize is what you will get. The practice of visualization is what gives high achieving people what seems like super-powers, helping them create their dream lives by accomplishing one goal or task at a time with hyper focus and complete confidence. We all have this power, but most of us have never been taught to use it effectively. Elite athletes use it. The super-rich use it. And peak performers in all fields now use it. Are you ready to join these achievers?

Click here to join a powerful guided visualization by Lisa Nichols. It’s free. So why not give it a try?

LAUNCH YOUR BEST VERVION EARLY If you’re not satisfied with the current version of yourself, then the quickest way to solve the problem is to begin working towards the better version today. There is no “right time” to get started.

It can be tempting to think about the best version of yourself as some intangible point in the future.

You know, the one where you are:

More successful

Doing what you love

Existing as an overall happier person

You see your current self as the regular season, and you’re just waiting for the playoffs to start before giving it your all.

But if all you do is wait for the best version of yourself to happen, you’re forever going to be stuck with the current version.

So, how do you launch the best version of yourself?

Start making progress today.

With all my love, Birgit

You got questions? Click this link and send me a message.

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how to write a journal for a better and even more productive SElf

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

How many times have rampant thoughts distracted you from your work? How many times have ideas popped in and popped out before you had a chance to capture them? Or maybe clarity has gone missing in action and you would like to find it again?

As a busy person, it is not uncommon for your mind to become overwhelmed trying to manage and process all the thoughts, the to-do list that is a mile long, the conversations had and the ideas that float in and out.

So what is a busy person meant to do with all the “stuff” that takes up valuable mental real estate? Write in a journal.

At first I was resistant. The thought of doing something that required what I believed to be work on my part turned my stomach. Not to mention, I had no clue what to write each day.

After about a week of journaling, I started to notice my mental clarity improve which ultimately lead to more productivity. And now after several years of using a writing journal, I look forward to it and if I skip a day, I really miss it.

In this article, I am going to share with you not only the benefits of a writing journal but also some simple ways to get started that won’t take up too much time, ways that positively impact your own mental clarity and that contribute to your productivity.

Why writing a journal matters …

Some of the busiest people I know complain about the same thing — the inability to turn off their brains; or worse, the inability to focus on the tasks at hand because of the high volume of thoughts and ideas they have.

Enter a writing journal. That journal is a safe place where you share your thoughts, your ideas, your questions and your concerns without interruption or the concern of another’s opinion or judgments. It’s a place to explore, pontificate and even complain.

In short, it is a great place for brain dumping so that you have the mental space to be more productive. But that is not the only benefit to a writing journal. Here are a few others:

It is a great way to have an “a-ha moment”.

Imagine you are in a conversation where all the sudden you hear yourself say something and a light bulb turns on. Writing in a journal serves that same purpose. With a journal, it is not uncommon that as you are capturing your thoughts, new awareness is being created.

For example, if I am struggling to find a solution to an issue, my journal provides me with the space I need to get the issue out of my head and onto paper. It’s not uncommon for questions to surface that I then answer; enter the clarity and a-ha moment.

It creates contentment and grounding.

Writing in a journal engages a form of mindfulness. It is the mindfulness that helps you to feel more grounded.

It diminishes the chaos.

Medical reviewers Paul Ballas and Maureen Fraser report,^[2]
“Keeping a journal helps you establish order when your world feels like it’s in chaos. It helps you get to know yourself by revealing your innermost fears, thoughts, and feelings. Look at your writing time as personal relaxation time, a time when you de-stress and wind down. Write in a place that’s relaxing and soothing—maybe with a cup of tea. Look forward to your journaling time, and know that you’re doing something good for your mind and body.”

It is a safe place to process and clear the air.

The things you stress over or worry about as well as any negative thoughts are similar to bacteria. When you keep them in the dark recesses of your mind, they grow.

By writing about them, you shine a light on them which causes them to shrink. Freeing up that valuable mental real estate to focus on something that is much more productive.

The same is true for anything or anyone that bothers you, whether that is the annoying co-worker, the argument with your partner, the project that went awry; it does not matter. If it is bothering you, it is worth journaling about to clear the air.

Not to mention, it gives you the opportunity to spot the lessons to be leveraged the next time someone or something annoys you.

It is good for your health.

Psychotherapist Maud Purcell in her article The Health Benefits of Journaling:^[3]
“There is increasing evidence to support the notion that journaling has a positive impact on physical well-being. University of Texas at Austin psychologist and researcher James Pennebaker contends that regular journaling strengthens immune cells, called T-lymphocytes. Other research indicates that journaling decreases the symptoms of asthma and rheumatoid arthritis. Pennebaker believes that writing about stressful events helps you come to terms with them, acting as a stress management tool, thus reducing the impact of these stressors on your physical health.”

It is a great tool for prioritizing.

A journal is a great place to capture all the things you want and need to do so that you can begin to prioritize and plan. Getting it all down on paper helps ensure that you are not missing anything important.

Not to mention, your journal is a great place to capture the wins, the steps you took with a project and any insights you gained. That way the next time a similar project or priority makes its way across your desk, you have a plan that you can recycle and re-use.

With the benefits in mind, are you ready to give a writing journal a whirl?

A step-by-step guide to start writing a journal

Here is an easy to use step-by-step guide to help you get started:

What do you want to gain from a writing journal?

Getting clear around your purpose or objective for journaling sets a clear intention for your journaling. It is that clear intention that helps you to journal on a consistent basis in order to increase your productivity. (The operative word being “consistent”.)

Important Note: Make sure that your purpose or objective is one that resonants with you. For example, maybe it is a form of self-care, or maybe you want to map out your next business idea. Since feelings drive actions, if you feel good about the prospect of journaling, you are more apt to do it.

Electronic or paper journal? There is no right or wrong mode to use for journaling; it is whatever is going to be easiest and the most comfortable for you to use.

When I first started journaling, I picked out a really cool notebook and pen that I used only for journaling.

Today I use both an electronic and paper journal. I use the paper journal and colored pens for my gratitude journaling and morning pages. And I use Good Notes and my Apple Pencil (because I like the handwritten approach) for my bullet journaling where I capture my ideas, things I need to research and outlines for my projects. Important Note: Start out simple and small, even a piece of paper from loose leaf notebook works!

Whether that is at your kitchen table, a comfy chair in the corner of your living room or propped up on pillows in your bed, it is important to find a place where you feel comfortable writing. A place where you won’t be interrupted.

Mornings before you begin the day or at night before bed; whenever you have some free time in your schedule that you can take 5-10 minutes to write.

When I first started, I tried different times of day on for size until I found a time that consistently worked. I tried writing in between clients, I tried writing right before bed and I tried writing in the morning as a part of my morning ritual. Morning time became my favorite time to write because I was less distracted by the day’s events.

Give different times a try and see what works best for you.

Most importantly, do not worry about what to write. Worrying about what to write makes using a writing journal a task instead of a powerful tool.

You can even start out by writing “I don’t know what to write” and go from there. Let whatever is on your mind come out on the page.

Start journaling now!

For the next 30 days, commit to writing in a journal. Whether you use the stream of consciousness approach of morning pages or journal prompts to get the writing juices flowing, allow the next 30 days to be a time of self-discovery, increased productivity and clarity as a result of your journaling.

And as reminder:

Keep it simple.
Find a consistent time that works for you over the next 30 days.
Leave the perfectionism at the door and just let whatever is coming up, come out on the pages.

There is no right or wrong way to use a journal. The key is allowing it to be your assistant in creating more space in your brain so that you can be your most productive self.

If you feel lost on topics to journal about… here are some questions to help you on emotional self-care.

What made me feel good and inspired today?

Why did this activity made me feel good?

What did I discover about myself today?

What is my intention for tomorrow?

How do you want to show up tomorrow?

If you had a challenging day, I want to encourage you to still find one positive thing to focus on.

with all my love, Birgit

You got questions? Click this link and send me a message.

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How to Have More Free Time (no matter how busy you think you are)

1 Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

Think back to grade school.

Do you remember that delicious moment when the final bell would ring, marking the end of the school day? How you could not wait to race home to relax, or meet with friends at extracurriculum clubs or other activities?

As Children, we tend to have an almost tangible excitement about our free time – time dedicated to relaxation, hobbies or other activities we enjoy. But when school desk are replaced with work desk, our „free-time“ tends to become less about what we want to do and more about what we have to do.

Our society strongly values productivity… which can create a stigma around „free-time“. Of course, yes, as an adult, you have more responsibilities. But just because we grow up doesn’t mean we have grow out of Enjoyment.

But why do you might feel having a lack of free-time? Is it really the „to-less-free-time“-thing? Is it because we want to enjoy too much activities in one day? Is it because we are feeling guilty when we are not working?

Actually most of my clients do have „enough“ free-time. But they are experiencing the missing feeling of „being on leisure“.

The reason is almost the same… and it happens to me either.

As it turned out to be as simple as complex like it does in most cases: we got trapped in the treadmill of our own thinking!

As I mentioned it before: our society values productivity. But as this brought our modern society as far as it did… the same productivity brings a lot of pressure with it.

While I was raising my daughter on my own, I was feeling guilty at work, not being with my daughter… and was thinking about “work stuff” at home! But it didn’t stop there: as a modern working mom I “knew” about the importance of self care. And let me be honest about this: it stressed me even more.

Let me give you another example:

I once had a client who was spending most of his time “thinking about his biggest work challenges ”! What was even more shocking, however, was that when I spotted this out to him he shook his head sadly. “I know,” he said, a bit guiltily. “I should be putting in another 2 – 3 hours a day thinking about it if I ever really want to solve it, but I just don’t have the time.”

You see?

Spending hours trying to think your way out of your problems is like walking east looking for a sunset – no matter how smart you are and no matter how hard you’re willing to work, it’s never going to happen that way. You’ll just get caught up inside that problem so deeply, that you not only missing out your “NOW” (which is probably time with your kids and family), but also at one point you WILL loose your perspectives and end up “not seeing the forest for the trees” !!!

In fact: Overthinking is the most unproductive way to solve any kind of problem!

Today, when I got trapped in my thinking, I just do ONE thing: I totally give up engaging myself on that problem. In fact what I actually DO in the moment I realize that I am overthinking on a problem, I take a deep breath, I clear my mind and I start getting “present”.

And after some time, when I have almost forgotten about that problem, the best idea on it comes from within me.

Did you ever have an experience like that? Maybe while having a shower… cleaning the dishes… or while scrolling through your Instagram feed at the toilet…(?)

Let me ask you a question: How do you clear muddy water in a bowl?

YES! YOU ARE ABSOLUTLY RIGHT: You let it rest.

After some time the mud will sink down.

Clear water remains on top so you can drink it!

This is the same Phenomenon that happens when you stop holding onto a problem and giving yourself a break.

In fact, studies show that „free-time“ is actually good for us – not only leisure time been related to a healthier immune system, reduces stress, and even increased longvity, it also helps you cultivate a richer sense of self and self-efficacy… which is your belief in yourself.

If you still need reasons why sometimes the most productive thing to do… is to take a BREAK… here comes 4:

#1…IT EMPOWERS YOU

Free time, however, doesn’t have to take the shape of lying on the sofa on Netflix (no judgement if it does!). In fact, research shows that your free time is most beneficial when it is mentally engaging.

Leisure doesn’t mean lazy – it means engaging in an activity that you enjoy! Try spending your free time on activities like cooking, playing an instrument, doing a craft such as knitting… whatever speaks to you. It should be something you like that allows you to grow while you research. Need an extra bonus? The skill you develop out of interest can improve those skills you need for your job! (here is an example: more than 80% of employers say that creativity is important to them in the workplace!)

For those of us who are always „on the go“, the concept of „free time“ can really become a stressful feeling. If you have an Iceberg-Belief (a deeply held belief developed in young age… usually about how you should have or how the world should be) that you always have to be productive (because slowing down would be a sign of your weakness), it is hard to kick back and relax without feeling like you are wasting your time

#2 IT WILL ENERGIZE YOU

Have you ever heard about „EUSTRESS“? Positive-Psychology-Studies found out that leisure activities are accompanied by their own kind of „positive stress“ ( which is called „eustress“). It is a typ of stress that is stimulationg, engaging AND gets you into a state of flow (where you are so engrossed in what you are doing that you don’t even notice time passes).

As a result of eustress you are starting feeling motivated and energized.

So the next time you are feeling a lack of inspiration in your work, try getting the creative juices flowing by taking some time to play: Go for a walk or jog out in the sun. Sit in nature. Journal. Draw. Or dance to your favorite song. Refocusing your energy will allow you to what you were thinking about refreshed and with some new perspectives.

#3 IT REDUCES EMOTIONAL STRESS

Not only has leisure activity been proven to lower almost immediatly physical symptoms of stress as high blood pressure and heart rate – studies shown that it reduces emotional stress, too. When you are facing am obstacle, stepping out of routine has been found out to interrupt the cycle of unhealthy thoughts (those that can lead to overthinking and anxiety). The break in your usual thought patterns leads to more optimistic thinking, allowing you to reframe your thinking and clear your mind … before tackling the source of your stress.

So make leisure a priority at least once a week. Put down your To-Do-List and do something fun, spontanious, just for yourself. You will see your stress level subside in the long term!

#4 IT LEVEL-UP YOUR (REAL) SOCIAL NETWORK

Try swapping a solo activity for something more social, such as a cooking class, dance group, or book club. It will help you form a natural network around your interests, boosting your personal resilience in the process.

When you make the time to reach out and engage in activities that interest you, you meet others who have similar interests. And at the root of those shared interests? Shared values. Surrounding yourself with people you genuinely connect with leaves you feeling more supported and even more resilient. Having a solid social network buffers against stress and makes you feel more optimistic in the face of uncertainty.

When you invest in your leisure, you are investing in yourself.

Exploring your different interests outside of work is also a great way to remind yourself that it’s never too late to continue learning and try something new, which fosters a Growth-Mindset, rather than a fixed one—making you feel more resilient and capable of approaching situations with an open mind. You may even surprise yourself with what you are capable of, which is a sentiment to carry with you when you face new challenges on the horizon.

Enjoy your free time!

with all my love, Birgit

You got questions? Click this link and send me a message.

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