... and how to clear them out
Okay, let’s pause for a second right here!
I can see you… and I hear you: What (by all means) do you mean by “Emotional Clutter”?
In fact we all carry “emotional clutter” with us… and for sure we all have build some functional “emotional blocks” throughout our life that sometimes prevent us from communicating with others …. and make us feel totally incapable.
You see…
Our past experiences shape the way we see the world and how we relate to others.
And these experiences often bring out different emotions that we either express or suppress.
Really everyone carries emotions that they have not fully processed because of past experiences… and yes: even coaches and therapists do! 😉
The problem starts if we don’t process these emotions, they can surface in many areas of our lives and make it difficult for us to function…. for example, they can affect how we react to stress, how we see ourselves as a person…. and sometimes they affect our physical health. Yes, these are all things that accumulated feelings can do.
All those repressed, suppressed and unexpressed emotions and old beliefs that are keeping you stuck, rooted in a spot that probably no longer represents who you are or what you are capable of.
Actually emotional clutter acts like an invisible set of horse blinders that keep you from seeing beyond what is right in front of you!
They blind you to potential paths forward and from the resources and options you have at your disposal.
But because those emotional blinders aren’t physical, they are easy enough to suppress or ignore.
So here comes the 6 signs you have emotional clutter to deal with, and a few thoughts about how to clear it out…
Sign No1:
Your Expectations of How Others Should Behave Is Distancing You From Them.
Do you have rules for how the people in your life need to show you they love you?
For example, do you “need” your husband to start taking out recycling without being nagged to feel more appreciated?
The problem with this is twofold: (a) it is extremely rare that these expectations are ever verbalised so the other person has no idea he is fouling up… and (b) your focus on what they aren’t doing right often causes you to miss other, real expressions of love.
Sign No2:
What You Should Do Is Making You Miserable or Rebellious.
Just as “should” isn’t a good motivator for others (see sign No1), it’s not a good motivator for you, either.
Rather than bowing to “should dos,” the next time you start to do something because you have to, stop. Take five minutes to consider what you really want to do and why. Then decide to make and follow your own rules in that area going forward.
Sign No3:
You Become “Shivery” Every Time You Scroll Through Your Contacts and See “THAT” Name.
Old relationships that ended on an unfortunate note, whether personal or professional, are part of life.
If you had one, do yourself a favour and get some closure.
Distance is the only thing that will lessen the emotional sting.
Delete the contact information from your phone.
UnFriend. UnLink. UnFollow.
You don’t need to know what they are up to if all it does is make you re-experience a past hurt. Handle yourself this gift of closing that door finally!
Sign No4:
You Feel Guilty Because You Let Someone Down.
Human beings are born to connect with others… and therefore we are used to please others so they like us.
From the time we can walk, we are socialised to share, pitch in and contribute.
The principle of reciprocity serves as a crucial glue for our community-based societies.
But it can also lead you to over-commit. If you’re chronically over-extending yourself, and letting people down in the process, you need to swap your “Sure, no problem” for “That sounds really interesting; let me think about it and get back to you with an answer.” Then use the time to determine whether you want to accept the request.
Sign No5:
You Get This Nagging Feeling When You Think About Someone.
Sometimes so much time has passed since you last connected with someone that you feel guilty just thinking about them or seeing their information in your phone.
Rather than suppressing the negative emotion, call them!
Ideally, right when you realise you’re feeling guilty.
If you can’t do it right then, make an appointment to connect with them before the week is out.
Free yourself with this act of courage.
Sign No6:
You Have Tons Of Uncompleted Projects.
There are several reason why you probably won’t finish projects… sometimes you need more informations… you loose interest in the topic… but there is a pretty good chance too that your subconscious mind is trying to keep you safe inside of your comfort zone and stop you from completing that project!
If it is this or that reason: When you fail to complete a project, you not only have physical reminders of it, but nagging emotional ones as well.
Can you see?
The nagging may not be urgent, but it’s there, somewhere in the back of your mind, constantly reminding you that you have something left to do.
If you’ve got one (or more) of these, take some time before the day is out to make a list of the projects you want to complete.
Then break them down into smaller work steps and schedule them in.
If you have a half-started project that you no longer really want to finish, it’s OK. It’s probably better to let it go and be at peace with your decision than to continue to carry it around!
So these are the 6 signs you are carrying emotional clutter with you.
Of course, these tips cannot be for everyone. We are are unique creatures and so are our stories.
If you feel those repressed, suppressed and unexpressed emotions and old beliefs deep insight you are probably keeping you stuck… please feel invited to send me a message.
I am here to support you and to help you to bring ease and happiness back into your life!