I remember waking up to the sound of my beloved daughter screaming in her bed in the middle of the night. She was about 4 years old at the time, and I ran to her bedroom, relieved to see there was no immediate danger but still concerned about what had frightened her so much.
She told me about the scary monster at the end of her bed. I looked around the room, but of course, there was no monster. And yet, to my surprise, when I looked again, there was indeed something that looked like a monster looming over her bed—though, of course, it wasn’t a monster. It was just the shadow of something on the windowsill, brought to life by the moonlight streaming through the window.
For a moment, I saw what my little girl saw. But the moment I realized what the “monster” was made of, it completely disappeared for me. I knew it was just a shadow—there was nothing I needed to do to make it go away, and it would disappear the second the light shifted.
But my little girl believed from the bottom of her heart that the monster was real. She saw it, she heard it, she even smelled it. No matter what I said or did, in her world, the monster was terrifyingly real.
The next night, when she screamed again, I rushed into her room dressed in a weird costume, with a hat made of aluminum foil, holding a noodle in one hand and a bottle of “monster-killing” spray in the other. After a long and rough battle, I “defeated” the monster, and she finally found peace.
What strikes me about this experience is that, in my world, there was no monster. I understood the nature of light and shadow. But in my daughter’s world, there was a real, hungry monster, and it was 100% real to her.
Our Personal Realities and Thinking
This story made me realize something fundamental: we are always living in our own personal evaluation of things. We experience our own thinking about the world, not the world itself.
For example, I live in Hamburg, Germany—a city I love. But there are days when I wake up and everything about the city feels noisy, dirty, and overwhelming. Hamburg itself hasn’t changed overnight, but my thinking has, and suddenly the city feels like the worst place in the world. Yet, on another day, it’s paradise again.
The same place, the same people, but a completely different experience—all because of my thinking.
The Monsters We Face in Life
Whether the “monsters” we face are related to money, health, relationships, or work, they always feel very real. And that’s because we live in the feeling of our thinking, not the feeling of the world.
When was the last time you felt like you were facing a “monster” in your life? What have your personal monsters looked like? Are they tied to your career, relationships, or fears about the future?
Take a moment to think about the situations where fear has taken over. What is the monster made of? Is it real, or is it a shadow created by your own thinking?
The Fear of the Unknown
Looking back on many conversations, I’ve realized that most of the time, we are afraid of something we can’t even put into words. Let’s call it the “unknown.” By definition, the unknown is simply something we have no information about and no control over. An example of this is the fear of the future.
None of us know what the future looks like, so how can something that doesn’t even exist yet scare us so much?
For many of us, fear of the future doesn’t get in the way. We plan, we strive, and we look forward without letting uncertainty hold us back. But for others, the unknown is terrifying. The uncertainty overwhelms them to the point that they prefer to remain in their comfort zone, afraid to take any steps forward.
In reality, it’s not the passing of time or the future that frightens us—it’s our own thoughts about what the future might hold. We imagine futures where things go wrong, and we feel fear every time we do.
Have you ever felt this fear of the unknown? How much of your fear is based on reality, and how much is based on the stories your mind creates?
Facing the "Monster" of Our Thoughts
The point here is: there’s no solution to a feeling. But once we see that our feelings are just an experience of our thinking, the whole game changes.
When we recognize fear as just a thought running wild in our minds, we can let it pass by, just like we let other thoughts pass. We don’t need to act on it or give it power. And just like the shadow of my daughter’s monster, the fear will eventually fade away when we stop focusing on it.
In moments of clarity—when we’re not caught up in our scary thoughts—we can see more clearly what, if anything, actually needs to be done to take care of ourselves. And from that space of calm, we can take action that feels straightforward and manageable.
Reflection: What Are You Afraid Of?
What are the monsters in your life right now? What are you truly afraid of?
Are you experiencing fear of the unknown, or are you living in the feeling of your own thinking?
If you see your fear for what it really is—a thought—you have the power to let it go. You don’t have to hold onto it, and you certainly don’t have to let it dictate your life.
with all my love, B.
PS: Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back
If you’re experiencing a long-lasting, paralyzing fear of the future or the unknown, I encourage you to be brave and talk to someone you trust—whether it’s a friend, a member of your community, or a helpline. You deserve a life filled with happiness, love, and peace.
Want to explore these insights further? Share your thoughts or connect with me on Instagram @MrsBimako. Let’s have a conversation.