Selfcare – Bimako.org

damn…Why does it often feel like an uphill battle to make time for Self-Care?

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

Self-care is crucial—we all know that! So why does it often feel like an uphill battle to make time for it? Swipe left to find out why.

Speaking for myself, I can absolutely relate as a highly sensitive INFJ woman running a coaching business while working as a trauma therapist, all why trying to be a good partner/ mom/ friend … not to forget the cooking, cleaning AND carving out time for myself to reflect and recharge. It can be a lot !

But today, let’s flip the script and make a change. Together.

The simple truth is...

Understanding the “why” behind the struggle is the first step toward making meaningful changes.

So let’s dive into some reasons why we might struggle with self-care and how we can gently weave it into our lives.

#1: We're Tired

As deep feelers, you and I often push ourselves to the limit.

This can lead to exhaustion, creating a vicious cycle where we’re too tired to practice self-care. Breaking this cycle is crucial.

When I find myself in this place I start with small steps to rest and recharge.

What about having a 10-minute ‘nothing break’ or a solo nature walk during your lunch break?

Give it a try. Your future self will thank you.

#2: Overthinking & Perfectionism

Do you often go from deep thinking to overthinking and aiming for perfection?

Yeap, that’s me sometimes too… I call it introspective nature .

You might think that if we can’t do self-care “perfectly” (the way some gurus order it), it’s not worth doing at all.

Listen… there is no right or wrong way to practice self-care. If it feels right to you, it is perfectly done right! It’s about finding what nourishes you, even in small doses.

#3: Prioritizing Others

Hands on heart, if you are like me, you probably know this well – the tendency to prioritize others’ needs over our own.

While being empathetic is our strength, it’s essential to recognize that we deserve care and attention too.

Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary…. Or in the words of a very wise soul:

Self-care is how you take your power back.

Lalah Delia

Feeling Overwhelmed ?

This fast-paced world is stressful. Add the tons of responsibilities we juggle, and being an empath sometimes adds a sour cherry on top. We crave solitude to recharge yet find so little room for self-care.

My secret: Simplify your self-care routine. Don’t have the time or energy for a 40-minute yoga flow? Okay, sit down and journal or do a sun salutation. Find what feels good to you. That’s what matters most.

Have you ever struggled with feelings of guilt or questioned your worthiness when it comes to taking time for yourself? Welcome to the club, my dear! You are not alone… it happens to me too.

But here’s a gentle reminder: WE are worthy of self-care time.

Think of it this way: If we are giving and performing from a place of overflowing energy, instead of acting from a half-full cup, that’s when we are giving and performing at our best!

Self-care is not a luxury. It’s a lifeline that keeps you and me grounded, energized, and resilient.

with love & respect, MrsBimako

↓ ↓ ↓

𝗛𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝘂𝗽… Take a moment today to commit to ONE small act of self-care. Whether it’s a quiet walk in nature, a few minutes of journaling, or simply breathing deeply, make that promise to yourself.

You deserve it.

damn…Why does it often feel like an uphill battle to make time for Self-Care? Read More »

The Science Behind Positive Self-Talk

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

Let’s me be crystal clear on this with you: Positive Selftalk isn’t just about feel-good affirmations; it’s rooted in science and can profoundly impact our mental and physical well-being.

Back in 1937, Napoleon Hill penned a revolutionary book, Think and Grow Rich. Hill proposed that success starts from within, with our mindset serving as the cornerstone. He believed that by cultivating the right mindset and following specific principles about success, money, and life, we could think ourselves into abundance. While groundbreaking at the time, it took years for science to catch up and validate these concepts.

For the longest time, the idea that our thoughts could shape our reality seemed like whimsical thinking. Yet, recent studies have shown that our self-talk—whether positive or negative—significantly impacts our mental and physical health. More astonishingly, our growth, development, and success are deeply connected to how we think and what we tell ourselves.

But How Does This Work?

A fascinating study at the University of North Carolina asked participants to respond to various stimuli. The results were illuminating. Those who experienced positive emotions saw possibilities and solutions that eluded those with negative or neutral reactions.

Positive experiences enhanced problem-solving abilities and fostered a greater capacity to navigate challenging situations!

Now, imagine applying this to our inner dialogue. Engaging in positive self-talk isn’t just about lifting our spirits; it’s about unlocking our potential to see opportunities and take meaningful action. This mindset helps us build new skills and gather resources for future endeavors.

The Impact on State of Mind

Positive self-talk does more than solve problems—it transforms our entire state of being. By nurturing an optimistic inner dialogue, we cultivate a mindset that sees the big picture and develops the resources to turn dreams into reality. This growth fosters greater joy and contentment.

The study also revealed that positive individuals are more likely to experience happiness and fulfillment. In essence, positive self-talk paves the way to a happier, more content life.

These studies are just the tip of the iceberg, but they clearly demonstrate the power of our self-talk. So, next time you catch yourself doubting your abilities or criticizing yourself for a mistake, pause. Let’s transform that criticism into constructive encouragement. Together.

Your future success and well-being depend on it.

Putting Positive Self-Talk into Action

Here are some tips to help you cultivate positive self-talk:

Awareness: Start by becoming aware of your inner dialogue. Notice when you’re being hard on yourself or engaging in negative self-talk.
Reframe: When you catch a negative thought, try to reframe it into something positive or constructive. For example, instead of thinking, “I can’t do this,” say, “I’m learning and growing every day.”
Affirmations: Create a list of positive affirmations that resonate with you. Repeat them daily to reinforce a positive mindset.
Compassion: Be gentle with yourself. Remember, we are all works in progress, and self-compassion is key to growth.
Visualization: Visualize your goals and dreams. See yourself achieving them and feel the emotions associated with your success.

Final Thoughts...

Remember, we have the power to create change within ourselves. Even the smallest positive change can catalyze a meaningful transformation. As the beloved Oprah Winfrey once said…

The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.

Let’s embrace the journey of positive self-talk and watch as it transforms our lives. You have the strength within to spark incredible transformation. And you are worth it.

with love & respect,

If you’d like to receive my free “Thought Challenging Diary” to get rid of self-critical thoughts … or my “Gratitude Log” to keep an positive & optimistic outlook every day … Let me know. I am here to help.

PS: I’d love to hear from you. Share your insights, experiences and questions in the comments below!

WAIT A MOMENT: Are we friends on Instagram already? No? Meet me there!

( Got questions but want to keep it private? Click this link and let’s have a chat )

The Science Behind Positive Self-Talk Read More »

The Art of Time Management for the Sensitive and Deep-Thinking Woman

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

A Guide for The High-Performing Woman Who Feels Like There’s Never Enough Time for HERSELF.

The simple truth is mastering your schedule can feel like an uphill battle between your ambition and your need for self-care, right? Juggling multiple responsibilities while striving for professional excellence with personal fulfillment requires a touch of magic, a sprinkle of wisdom, and a whole lot of heart.

So today, let’s go on a transformative journey into the art of Time Management.

Time Blocking, Day Theming and Task Batching might sound like confusing ‘Books with seven seals’ , but hold on and take a deep breath. These powerful techniques are designed to honor your introverted nature while maximizing your productivity and joy… and after going through this guide, you will know what to do!

Shall we?

The Power of Time Blocking: Your Personal Diary of Productivity

Imagine having a personal diary that not only records your thoughts and feelings but also guides your day with precision and purpose. Time Blocking is exactly that—a reflective, intentional approach to managing your time.

How it Works:

Set Intentions: Each morning, start by setting clear intentions. What are your top priorities? How do you want to feel by the end of the day?
Document Your Day: Break your day into blocks, each dedicated to specific activities. This could be work, self-care, family time, or creative pursuits.
Reflect and Adjust: At the end of the day, review your block. Did you achieve your goals? How did the day flow? Adjust your approach based on your reflections.

Why it Works:

Self-Reflection: As natural introspective thinkers, this technique aligns perfectly with your need for reflection.
Structure and Flexibility: It provides a clear structure while allowing the flexibility to adapt to your energy levels and emotional needs.

Step-by-Step Instructions:

1. Morning Ritual: Begin your day with a quiet moment of reflection. Meditating for 10 minutes? Journaling for 15? A dance session around your kitchen table? Watching the clouds passing by while enjoying your first coffee? Whatever connects you with your inner self is perfect.
2. Daily Planning: On your time block, list the key tasks and activities you want to accomplish. Break your day into time blocks and assign tasks accordingly.
3. Midday Check-in: Around lunchtime, revisit your time blog to see how you’re progressing. Adjust your schedule if necessary to stay on track.
4. Evening Reflection: Before bed, review your day. Note what you accomplished, what you enjoyed, and what could be improved for tomorrow.

Advanced Tips for Time Blocking

Technology – Yes or No? Start with what you already have, but be open to the idea of using digital tools or apps specially designed for time management and time blocking. These can help you create and visualize your schedule effectively.
Theme Your Days: Some individuals find it helpful to dedicate entire days to specific types of tasks. For instance, Monday could be for strategic planning, while Tuesday is focused on client meetings.
PRO TIP: not only schedule your MUSTS! Block also time for SELF-CARE, like a 10 min. ‘Nothing Break’ after a meeting … or commit to your Home Yoga Class by really blocking time in your schedule for it.

Remember the last time you felt overwhelmed by your to-do list? I once had long period where every day felt like a chaotic whirlwind. Then, I discovered Time Blogging. By simply jotting down my intentions and reflecting each evening, I found a sense of peace and control over my days. It was a game-changer.

Day Theming: Embrace the Rhythm of Your Life

No, Day Theming is not about pink ribbons and theme dinner party ( but no judging on that!). Day Theming is about giving each day of the week a specific focus, creating a rhythm that aligns with your personal and professional life.

How it Works:

Identify Themes: Decide on themes that resonate with your goals and values. For example, Monday could be “Planning Day,” Wednesday could be “Creative Day,” and Friday could be “Learning Day.”
Plan Accordingly: Schedule tasks that align with each day’s theme. This reduces decision fatigue and helps you immerse fully in the activity of the day.
Stick to the Theme: As much as possible, honor the theme. This consistency fosters a sense of stability and focus.

Why it Works:

Deep Work: INFJs thrive in environments where they can dive deep into their interests. Day Theming supports this by allowing you to fully engage with one type of task or activity.
Emotional Harmony: It creates a predictable pattern that can be soothing and stabilizing, especially for sensitive and empathetic individuals.

A Step-by-Step Instructions:

Weekly Planning: On Sunday evening, set themes for each day of the upcoming week based on your goals and commitments.
Task Assignment: For each themed day, assign specific tasks that align with the theme. For example, on “Planning Day,” focus on administrative tasks and strategic planning.
Daily Adherence: Throughout the week, focus on the theme of the day. Avoid distractions that don’t align with the day’s focus to maintain deep, productive work.
Weekly Review: At the end of the week, review how the themes worked for you. Adjust themes as needed to better align with your priorities and energy levels.

What would your ideal week look like if each day had a distinct focus that honored both your professional ambitions and personal needs?

I used to dread Mondays until I made them my “Vision & Planning Days.” Instead of the usual chaos, I dedicated Mondays to setting up my week with clear intentions and goals. This shift made a world of difference, turning Mondays into a day I now look forward to.

Task Batching? The Ultimate Strategy for Focused Efficiency

Task Batching involves grouping similar tasks together and dedicating specific time blocks to complete them. This minimizes the mental load of switching between different types of work and boosts your efficiency.

How it Works:

Group Similar Tasks: Identify tasks that require similar types of thinking or resources. For example, batch all your email responses together or dedicate a block of time to creative brainstorming.
Schedule Batches: Allocate specific time slots in your calendar for these batches. Ensure they align with your peak energy levels.
Stay Focused: During these batches, focus solely on the tasks at hand. Avoid multitasking and external distractions.

Why it Might Work For You As Well:

Focused Energy: INFJs have deep wells of creativity and thoughtfulness. Task Batching allows you to harness this energy without constant interruptions.
Reduced Overwhelm: By compartmentalizing your tasks, you prevent the overwhelm that comes with juggling too many things at once.

Step-by-Step Instructions:

Task Categorization: List out all your tasks for the week and group them into categories such as administrative, creative, or personal.
Batch Scheduling: Look at your weekly schedule and assign specific time blocks for each batch of tasks. Ensure these align with your natural energy peaks.
Focused Execution: When it’s time to work on a batch, eliminate distractions. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb, close unnecessary tabs, and immerse yourself fully in the task.
Review and Adjust: After completing each batch, review your efficiency and adjust future time blocks as needed to improve productivity.

I remember a time when my to-do list felt like an endless mountain. By grouping similar tasks together — like handling all emails in one go and dedicating another block to brainstorming — I found myself climbing that mountain with so much more ease… and grace!

How would your productivity change if you could focus on one type of task at a time without constant interruptions?

some more tailored and quiet personal tips and insights to help you thrive:

Honor Your Sensitivity: Embrace your sensitive nature as a strength. Create a workspace that feels calming and nurturing. Use soft lighting, pleasant scents, and minimal clutter to maintain a serene environment.
Protect Your Energy: Be mindful of your energy levels. Schedule demanding tasks during your peak productivity times and allow for breaks to recharge. Listen to your body and mind, and don’t hesitate to take a moment of solitude when needed.
Set Boundaries: As an empathetic individual, it’s essential to set boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. Learn to say no gracefully and prioritize your tasks based on their alignment with your values and goals.
Leverage Your Intuition: Trust your gut feelings when making decisions. Your intuition is a powerful tool that can guide you towards what truly matters and help you navigate complex situations with ease. Look at the informations you have and listen to your inner feeling!
Seek Meaningful Connections: Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who understand and respect your introverted nature. Engage in deep, meaningful conversations rather than superficial interactions.

okay, let's Bring It All Together...

Combining Time Blocking, Day Theming, and Task Batching creates a powerful trifecta of productivity and self-care tailored to your unique needs! Here’s a glimpse of how it all comes together:

Morning Reflection (Time Blogging): Set your intentions and outline your day based on the theme.
Themed Day Focus (Day Theming): Dedicate the day to a specific type of work or self-care.
Efficient Execution (Task Batching): Group similar tasks and tackle them in focused blocks.

This harmonious approach not only boosts your productivity but also nurtures your sensitive, introspective nature. It’s about working smarter, not harder, and honoring your unique rhythm and energy.

With love & respect

Like free printable templates for daily reflections, weekly themes, and task batches? Let me know. I am here to help.

WAIT A MOMENT: I’d love to hear from you. Share your insights, experiences and questions in the comments below!

( Got questions but want to keep it private? Click this link and let’s have a chat )

The Art of Time Management for the Sensitive and Deep-Thinking Woman Read More »

“Excuse me, But isn’t it rather selfish & unempathic to put m happiness first”

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

I recently was asked this great question…

Actually this is probably the most malicious myth about happiness at all!

But, it comes in several varieties… did you ever heart this before:
“In a world so full of suffering, you can be happy only if you’re callous and self-centered”⁠
“Happy people become wrapped up in their own pleasure! They’re complacent and uninterested in the world”.⁠

And just to make this clear right from the bottom: These are WRONG!!!!⁠
⁠
Studies show that, quite to the contrary, happier people are more likely to help other people, they’re more interested in social problems, they do more volunteer work, and they contribute more to charity. They’re less preoccupied with their personal problems.⁠
⁠
WHEN I’M FEELING HAPPY… I find it easier to notice other people’s problems… I feel that I have more energy to try to take action… I have the emotional wherewithal to tackle sad or difficult issues… and I’m not as preoccupied with myself… I feel more generous and forgiving. ⁠
⁠

How about you?

If you spend time with someone who exudes positivity, and you are more likely to feel positive… Hang with someone who acts like life’s number one victim, and guaranteed, Debbie downer is going to rub off on you. RIGHT OR WRONG?⁠
⁠
It is called EMOTIONAL CONTAGION… and it means the emotions of others can influence us. ⁠
⁠
So if happy people make other people happy, why is it that happy people are sometimes thought to be selfish?⁠
⁠
This myth that unhappiness is selfless and happiness is selfish is misguided.⁠
IN FACT It’s more selfless to act happy. ⁠
It takes energy, generosity and discipline to be “happy”, BUT yet everyone takes the happy person for granted.⁠
⁠
“ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY IS TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE HAPPY; ⁠
ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO MAKE OTHERS HAPPY IS TO BE HAPPY YOURSELF”⁠
⁠
Everyone accepts the first part of this phrase, but the second part is just as important!⁠
⁠
By making the effort to make yourself happier, you better equip yourself to make other people happier, as well. ⁠
⁠
IT’S NOT SELFISH TO TRY TO BE HAPPY… ⁠
HAPPINESS is your BIRTHRIGHT!⁠
⁠
With all my love. B.⁠

Facts about Happiness you might want to know...

Happiness takes work. Happy people are taken for granted because they are thought of as naturally happy people or born happy, yet upbeat people have to work at being resilient, bouncing back, rising above, and staying positive. The outside world only sees the happy person and not the effort behind the scenes, so positive people don’t receive credit for creating their sunshine-like dispositions. “Happiness is a work ethic. You have to train your brain to be positive, just like you work out your body,”

Happy people are overlooked. If happy people are thought to be in selfish pursuit of their own fulfillment and pleasure, consider that the happy person often goes unnoticed. “No one is careful of (a happy person’s) feelings or tries to keep his spirits high,” Rubin says. “Because happy people seem self-sufficient, they become a cushion for others.” The happy person is expected to lift others up.

Happiness doesn’t mean you lack empathy. Just because your smile lights up a room, doesn’t mean you are blind to the suffering going on in the world. You don’t have to sacrifice your happiness to show the world you are compassionate. “Just as eating your dinner doesn’t help starving children in India; being blue yourself doesn’t help unhappy people become happier,” Rubin says. In fact, happier people are better equipped to demonstrate their empathy and help people because their emotional tanks are full. “When I’m feeling happy, I find it easier to notice other people’s problems. I have more energy to try to take action and I have the emotional wherewithal to tackle sad or difficult issues, and I’m not as preoccupied with myself. I feel more generous and forgiving,” Rubin says. There will always be tragic stories happening in the world, but empathy is better expressed with giving back and good deeds, than giving up your happiness in a show of support.

Happy people give back. Happy people are more interested in social problems, more likely to do volunteer work and contribute to charity, according to Gallup Well-being polls. While unhappy people tend to socially withdraw and focus on themselves, happy people turn outward and are more available to help others. And when people give back it only enhances their happiness, says Harvey McKinnon, a nonprofit fundraising expert and author of The Power of Giving: How Giving Back Enriches Us All. “People are hard-wired to give, and when people give to others, it makes them feel better.” Turns out, one of the best ways to get happy in the first place is to do a selfless act—help other people be happy. Rubin calls it a splendid truth: “The best way to make yourself happy is to make others happy, and the best ways to make other people happy, is to be happy yourself.”

It occurs to me, that it’s quiet important to care & fill our own “cup” first… just because of the fact that no-one can pour from an empty cup! so you want to make a difference in this world, care about yourself. Then… only then… you will be able to give to others from a healthy and abundant place!

with all my love, Birgit

You got questions? Click this link and send me a message.

“Excuse me, But isn’t it rather selfish & unempathic to put m happiness first” Read More »

The 6 signs you are struggling with emotional clutter

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

... and how to clear them out

Okay, let’s pause for a second right here!

I can see you… and I hear you: What (by all means) do you mean by “Emotional Clutter”?

In fact we all carry “emotional clutter” with us… and for sure we all have build some functional “emotional blocks” throughout our life that sometimes prevent us from communicating with others …. and make us feel totally incapable.⁠

You see…

Our past experiences shape the way we see the world and how we relate to others. ⁠
⁠And these experiences often bring out different emotions that we either express or suppress. ⁠
⁠
Really everyone carries emotions that they have not fully processed because of past experiences… and yes: even coaches and therapists do! 😉
⁠
The problem starts if we don’t process these emotions, they can surface in many areas of our lives and make it difficult for us to function…. for example, they can affect how we react to stress, how we see ourselves as a person…. and sometimes they affect our physical health. ⁠Yes, these are all things that accumulated feelings can do.⁠

⁠All those repressed, suppressed and unexpressed emotions and old beliefs that are keeping you stuck, rooted in a spot that probably no longer represents who you are or what you are capable of. ⁠⁠

Actually emotional clutter acts like an invisible set of horse blinders that keep you from seeing beyond what is right in front of you!⁠
⁠
They blind you to potential paths forward and from the resources and options you have at your disposal. ⁠
⁠
But because those emotional blinders aren’t physical, they are easy enough to suppress or ignore.⁠

So here comes the 6 signs you have emotional clutter to deal with, and a few thoughts about how to clear it out…

Sign No1:

Your Expectations of How Others Should Behave Is Distancing You From Them.

Do you have rules for how the people in your life need to show you they love you?

For example, do you “need” your husband to start taking out recycling without being nagged to feel more appreciated?

The problem with this is twofold: (a) it is extremely rare that these expectations are ever verbalised so the other person has no idea he is fouling up… and (b) your focus on what they aren’t doing right often causes you to miss other, real expressions of love.

Sign No2:

What You Should Do Is Making You Miserable or Rebellious.

Just as “should” isn’t a good motivator for others (see sign No1), it’s not a good motivator for you, either.

Rather than bowing to “should dos,” the next time you start to do something because you have to, stop. Take five minutes to consider what you really want to do and why. Then decide to make and follow your own rules in that area going forward.

Sign No3:

You Become “Shivery” Every Time You Scroll Through Your Contacts and See “THAT” Name.

Old relationships that ended on an unfortunate note, whether personal or professional, are part of life.

If you had one, do yourself a favour and get some closure.

Distance is the only thing that will lessen the emotional sting.

Delete the contact information from your phone.

UnFriend. UnLink. UnFollow.

You don’t need to know what they are up to if all it does is make you re-experience a past hurt. Handle yourself this gift of closing that door finally!

Sign No4:

You Feel Guilty Because You Let Someone Down.

Human beings are born to connect with others… and therefore we are used to please others so they like us.

From the time we can walk, we are socialised to share, pitch in and contribute.

The principle of reciprocity serves as a crucial glue for our community-based societies.

But it can also lead you to over-commit. If you’re chronically over-extending yourself, and letting people down in the process, you need to swap your “Sure, no problem” for “That sounds really interesting; let me think about it and get back to you with an answer.” Then use the time to determine whether you want to accept the request.

Sign No5:

You Get This Nagging Feeling When You Think About Someone.

Sometimes so much time has passed since you last connected with someone that you feel guilty just thinking about them or seeing their information in your phone.

Rather than suppressing the negative emotion, call them!

Ideally, right when you realise you’re feeling guilty.

If you can’t do it right then, make an appointment to connect with them before the week is out.

Free yourself with this act of courage.

Sign No6:

You Have Tons Of Uncompleted Projects.

There are several reason why you probably won’t finish projects… sometimes you need more informations… you loose interest in the topic… but there is a pretty good chance too that your subconscious mind is trying to keep you safe inside of your comfort zone and stop you from completing that project!

If it is this or that reason: When you fail to complete a project, you not only have physical reminders of it, but nagging emotional ones as well.

Can you see?

The nagging may not be urgent, but it’s there, somewhere in the back of your mind, constantly reminding you that you have something left to do.

If you’ve got one (or more) of these, take some time before the day is out to make a list of the projects you want to complete.

Then break them down into smaller work steps and schedule them in.

If you have a half-started project that you no longer really want to finish, it’s OK. It’s probably better to let it go and be at peace with your decision than to continue to carry it around!

So these are the 6 signs you are carrying emotional clutter with you.

Of course, these tips cannot be for everyone. We are are unique creatures and so are our stories.

If you feel those repressed, suppressed and unexpressed emotions and old beliefs deep insight you are probably keeping you stuck… please feel invited to send me a message.

I am here to support you and to help you to bring ease and happiness back into your life!

The 6 signs you are struggling with emotional clutter Read More »

3 ways to tap into the present moment easily

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

In your daily life, do you find your mind wandering? ⁠
⁠
Are you often so caught up in checking your phone that you’re not engaging with your loved ones? ⁠
⁠
It can be difficult to be in the moment when you have a full schedule or other things on your mind. ⁠

But isn’t it so… all we have right now is the present moment. The past is gone and the future is unwritten. So instead of holding onto gone times or looking forward to the future, how about being thankful for the beauty of ‘right now’? If you are truly experiencing each moment of your day, doesn’t that seem to be the best way to spend your time wisely? ⁠

A wise man once said, “If you’re in your head, you’re dead.” That sounds probably a little bit dramatic… but I’m sure you can see the point of truth in there. If you’re not enjoying what’s happening around you, and are instead wrapped up in your to-do lists and worries, then you’re not really living at all.⁠

However, there are many benefits to being present. ⁠
⁠
Practicing mindfulness can boost your memory, increase your focus, reduce stress, improve your emotional fitness, help you to make the best decisions at any given time and more!

So let’s start practicing how to be more present – right away.⁠
⁠
Today I am here to share my personal

“3 BEST PRACTICE TIPS TO TAP INTO THE PRESENT MOMENT EASILY“! ⁠

✨No.1✨
Focus on your breath

When you are present there is a certain stillness and centeredness inside. You calm down.
By focusing just on the in and out-breaths you connect to the present moment instead of the past or future scenarios that are stressing you.
Take some “belly breaths and just focus on them for a minute or two!

✨No.2✨
Focus on what’s right in front of you… Or on you.

Use your senses. Just look at what’s right in front of you right now. Listen to the sounds around you. Feel the fabric of your clothes and focus on how they feel. You can for instance use the summer sun or rain and how it feels on your skin to connect with the present.

✨TIP No.3✨
Pick up the vibe from present people.

If you know someone that is more present than most people then you can pick his/her vibe of presence (just like you can pick up positivity or enthusiasm from people)… It works!

If you don’t know someone like that, I recommend “Stillness Speaks” or “The Flowering of Consciousness” (both by Eckhardt Tolle). Listening to/watching cds/dvds work better for me when I wanna pick up someone’s vibe since the biggest part of communication is voice tonality and body language… but in general books works of course too!!

Being present in your life takes practice, and it can be difficult.

Especially at the beginning, it’s not realistic to be present every minute of the day! Don’t stress you about this! Let’s start with 15 minutes today.

You can start “being present” whilst washing the dishes, meditating, journaling or doing enjoyable activities which do not require tech devices!

I have a practice of walking in nature to help me be present in the moment. I also like activities such as cooking and baking to help me stay present. Reading hard copy books or even relaxing with a cup of coffee can ground me perfectly into the present moment, too!

So, what will you be doing to stay present today?

with all my love, Birgit

If you’re still struggling to stay on task at work, or can’t give your family your undivided attention, perhaps it’s time you and I should have a conversation…

Did I missed out your best-practice to tap into the present moment? For sure, there are a few more ways to return to the present moment.

I would love to hear about your favorite way to tap into the present moment! Put it in the comments below… or click here to send me a message.

3 ways to tap into the present moment easily Read More »

how to write a journal for a better and even more productive SElf

Leave a Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

How many times have rampant thoughts distracted you from your work? How many times have ideas popped in and popped out before you had a chance to capture them? Or maybe clarity has gone missing in action and you would like to find it again?

As a busy person, it is not uncommon for your mind to become overwhelmed trying to manage and process all the thoughts, the to-do list that is a mile long, the conversations had and the ideas that float in and out.

So what is a busy person meant to do with all the “stuff” that takes up valuable mental real estate? Write in a journal.

At first I was resistant. The thought of doing something that required what I believed to be work on my part turned my stomach. Not to mention, I had no clue what to write each day.

After about a week of journaling, I started to notice my mental clarity improve which ultimately lead to more productivity. And now after several years of using a writing journal, I look forward to it and if I skip a day, I really miss it.

In this article, I am going to share with you not only the benefits of a writing journal but also some simple ways to get started that won’t take up too much time, ways that positively impact your own mental clarity and that contribute to your productivity.

Why writing a journal matters …

Some of the busiest people I know complain about the same thing — the inability to turn off their brains; or worse, the inability to focus on the tasks at hand because of the high volume of thoughts and ideas they have.

Enter a writing journal. That journal is a safe place where you share your thoughts, your ideas, your questions and your concerns without interruption or the concern of another’s opinion or judgments. It’s a place to explore, pontificate and even complain.

In short, it is a great place for brain dumping so that you have the mental space to be more productive. But that is not the only benefit to a writing journal. Here are a few others:

It is a great way to have an “a-ha moment”.

Imagine you are in a conversation where all the sudden you hear yourself say something and a light bulb turns on. Writing in a journal serves that same purpose. With a journal, it is not uncommon that as you are capturing your thoughts, new awareness is being created.

For example, if I am struggling to find a solution to an issue, my journal provides me with the space I need to get the issue out of my head and onto paper. It’s not uncommon for questions to surface that I then answer; enter the clarity and a-ha moment.

It creates contentment and grounding.

Writing in a journal engages a form of mindfulness. It is the mindfulness that helps you to feel more grounded.

It diminishes the chaos.

Medical reviewers Paul Ballas and Maureen Fraser report,^[2]
“Keeping a journal helps you establish order when your world feels like it’s in chaos. It helps you get to know yourself by revealing your innermost fears, thoughts, and feelings. Look at your writing time as personal relaxation time, a time when you de-stress and wind down. Write in a place that’s relaxing and soothing—maybe with a cup of tea. Look forward to your journaling time, and know that you’re doing something good for your mind and body.”

It is a safe place to process and clear the air.

The things you stress over or worry about as well as any negative thoughts are similar to bacteria. When you keep them in the dark recesses of your mind, they grow.

By writing about them, you shine a light on them which causes them to shrink. Freeing up that valuable mental real estate to focus on something that is much more productive.

The same is true for anything or anyone that bothers you, whether that is the annoying co-worker, the argument with your partner, the project that went awry; it does not matter. If it is bothering you, it is worth journaling about to clear the air.

Not to mention, it gives you the opportunity to spot the lessons to be leveraged the next time someone or something annoys you.

It is good for your health.

Psychotherapist Maud Purcell in her article The Health Benefits of Journaling:^[3]
“There is increasing evidence to support the notion that journaling has a positive impact on physical well-being. University of Texas at Austin psychologist and researcher James Pennebaker contends that regular journaling strengthens immune cells, called T-lymphocytes. Other research indicates that journaling decreases the symptoms of asthma and rheumatoid arthritis. Pennebaker believes that writing about stressful events helps you come to terms with them, acting as a stress management tool, thus reducing the impact of these stressors on your physical health.”

It is a great tool for prioritizing.

A journal is a great place to capture all the things you want and need to do so that you can begin to prioritize and plan. Getting it all down on paper helps ensure that you are not missing anything important.

Not to mention, your journal is a great place to capture the wins, the steps you took with a project and any insights you gained. That way the next time a similar project or priority makes its way across your desk, you have a plan that you can recycle and re-use.

With the benefits in mind, are you ready to give a writing journal a whirl?

A step-by-step guide to start writing a journal

Here is an easy to use step-by-step guide to help you get started:

What do you want to gain from a writing journal?

Getting clear around your purpose or objective for journaling sets a clear intention for your journaling. It is that clear intention that helps you to journal on a consistent basis in order to increase your productivity. (The operative word being “consistent”.)

Important Note: Make sure that your purpose or objective is one that resonants with you. For example, maybe it is a form of self-care, or maybe you want to map out your next business idea. Since feelings drive actions, if you feel good about the prospect of journaling, you are more apt to do it.

Electronic or paper journal? There is no right or wrong mode to use for journaling; it is whatever is going to be easiest and the most comfortable for you to use.

When I first started journaling, I picked out a really cool notebook and pen that I used only for journaling.

Today I use both an electronic and paper journal. I use the paper journal and colored pens for my gratitude journaling and morning pages. And I use Good Notes and my Apple Pencil (because I like the handwritten approach) for my bullet journaling where I capture my ideas, things I need to research and outlines for my projects. Important Note: Start out simple and small, even a piece of paper from loose leaf notebook works!

Whether that is at your kitchen table, a comfy chair in the corner of your living room or propped up on pillows in your bed, it is important to find a place where you feel comfortable writing. A place where you won’t be interrupted.

Mornings before you begin the day or at night before bed; whenever you have some free time in your schedule that you can take 5-10 minutes to write.

When I first started, I tried different times of day on for size until I found a time that consistently worked. I tried writing in between clients, I tried writing right before bed and I tried writing in the morning as a part of my morning ritual. Morning time became my favorite time to write because I was less distracted by the day’s events.

Give different times a try and see what works best for you.

Most importantly, do not worry about what to write. Worrying about what to write makes using a writing journal a task instead of a powerful tool.

You can even start out by writing “I don’t know what to write” and go from there. Let whatever is on your mind come out on the page.

Start journaling now!

For the next 30 days, commit to writing in a journal. Whether you use the stream of consciousness approach of morning pages or journal prompts to get the writing juices flowing, allow the next 30 days to be a time of self-discovery, increased productivity and clarity as a result of your journaling.

And as reminder:

Keep it simple.
Find a consistent time that works for you over the next 30 days.
Leave the perfectionism at the door and just let whatever is coming up, come out on the pages.

There is no right or wrong way to use a journal. The key is allowing it to be your assistant in creating more space in your brain so that you can be your most productive self.

If you feel lost on topics to journal about… here are some questions to help you on emotional self-care.

What made me feel good and inspired today?

Why did this activity made me feel good?

What did I discover about myself today?

What is my intention for tomorrow?

How do you want to show up tomorrow?

If you had a challenging day, I want to encourage you to still find one positive thing to focus on.

with all my love, Birgit

You got questions? Click this link and send me a message.

how to write a journal for a better and even more productive SElf Read More »

How to Have More Free Time (no matter how busy you think you are)

1 Comment / by Birgit M. Okoro / Bimako

Think back to grade school.

Do you remember that delicious moment when the final bell would ring, marking the end of the school day? How you could not wait to race home to relax, or meet with friends at extracurriculum clubs or other activities?

As Children, we tend to have an almost tangible excitement about our free time – time dedicated to relaxation, hobbies or other activities we enjoy. But when school desk are replaced with work desk, our „free-time“ tends to become less about what we want to do and more about what we have to do.

Our society strongly values productivity… which can create a stigma around „free-time“. Of course, yes, as an adult, you have more responsibilities. But just because we grow up doesn’t mean we have grow out of Enjoyment.

But why do you might feel having a lack of free-time? Is it really the „to-less-free-time“-thing? Is it because we want to enjoy too much activities in one day? Is it because we are feeling guilty when we are not working?

Actually most of my clients do have „enough“ free-time. But they are experiencing the missing feeling of „being on leisure“.

The reason is almost the same… and it happens to me either.

As it turned out to be as simple as complex like it does in most cases: we got trapped in the treadmill of our own thinking!

As I mentioned it before: our society values productivity. But as this brought our modern society as far as it did… the same productivity brings a lot of pressure with it.

While I was raising my daughter on my own, I was feeling guilty at work, not being with my daughter… and was thinking about “work stuff” at home! But it didn’t stop there: as a modern working mom I “knew” about the importance of self care. And let me be honest about this: it stressed me even more.

Let me give you another example:

I once had a client who was spending most of his time “thinking about his biggest work challenges ”! What was even more shocking, however, was that when I spotted this out to him he shook his head sadly. “I know,” he said, a bit guiltily. “I should be putting in another 2 – 3 hours a day thinking about it if I ever really want to solve it, but I just don’t have the time.”

You see?

Spending hours trying to think your way out of your problems is like walking east looking for a sunset – no matter how smart you are and no matter how hard you’re willing to work, it’s never going to happen that way. You’ll just get caught up inside that problem so deeply, that you not only missing out your “NOW” (which is probably time with your kids and family), but also at one point you WILL loose your perspectives and end up “not seeing the forest for the trees” !!!

In fact: Overthinking is the most unproductive way to solve any kind of problem!

Today, when I got trapped in my thinking, I just do ONE thing: I totally give up engaging myself on that problem. In fact what I actually DO in the moment I realize that I am overthinking on a problem, I take a deep breath, I clear my mind and I start getting “present”.

And after some time, when I have almost forgotten about that problem, the best idea on it comes from within me.

Did you ever have an experience like that? Maybe while having a shower… cleaning the dishes… or while scrolling through your Instagram feed at the toilet…(?)

Let me ask you a question: How do you clear muddy water in a bowl?

YES! YOU ARE ABSOLUTLY RIGHT: You let it rest.

After some time the mud will sink down.

Clear water remains on top so you can drink it!

This is the same Phenomenon that happens when you stop holding onto a problem and giving yourself a break.

In fact, studies show that „free-time“ is actually good for us – not only leisure time been related to a healthier immune system, reduces stress, and even increased longvity, it also helps you cultivate a richer sense of self and self-efficacy… which is your belief in yourself.

If you still need reasons why sometimes the most productive thing to do… is to take a BREAK… here comes 4:

#1…IT EMPOWERS YOU

Free time, however, doesn’t have to take the shape of lying on the sofa on Netflix (no judgement if it does!). In fact, research shows that your free time is most beneficial when it is mentally engaging.

Leisure doesn’t mean lazy – it means engaging in an activity that you enjoy! Try spending your free time on activities like cooking, playing an instrument, doing a craft such as knitting… whatever speaks to you. It should be something you like that allows you to grow while you research. Need an extra bonus? The skill you develop out of interest can improve those skills you need for your job! (here is an example: more than 80% of employers say that creativity is important to them in the workplace!)

For those of us who are always „on the go“, the concept of „free time“ can really become a stressful feeling. If you have an Iceberg-Belief (a deeply held belief developed in young age… usually about how you should have or how the world should be) that you always have to be productive (because slowing down would be a sign of your weakness), it is hard to kick back and relax without feeling like you are wasting your time

#2 IT WILL ENERGIZE YOU

Have you ever heard about „EUSTRESS“? Positive-Psychology-Studies found out that leisure activities are accompanied by their own kind of „positive stress“ ( which is called „eustress“). It is a typ of stress that is stimulationg, engaging AND gets you into a state of flow (where you are so engrossed in what you are doing that you don’t even notice time passes).

As a result of eustress you are starting feeling motivated and energized.

So the next time you are feeling a lack of inspiration in your work, try getting the creative juices flowing by taking some time to play: Go for a walk or jog out in the sun. Sit in nature. Journal. Draw. Or dance to your favorite song. Refocusing your energy will allow you to what you were thinking about refreshed and with some new perspectives.

#3 IT REDUCES EMOTIONAL STRESS

Not only has leisure activity been proven to lower almost immediatly physical symptoms of stress as high blood pressure and heart rate – studies shown that it reduces emotional stress, too. When you are facing am obstacle, stepping out of routine has been found out to interrupt the cycle of unhealthy thoughts (those that can lead to overthinking and anxiety). The break in your usual thought patterns leads to more optimistic thinking, allowing you to reframe your thinking and clear your mind … before tackling the source of your stress.

So make leisure a priority at least once a week. Put down your To-Do-List and do something fun, spontanious, just for yourself. You will see your stress level subside in the long term!

#4 IT LEVEL-UP YOUR (REAL) SOCIAL NETWORK

Try swapping a solo activity for something more social, such as a cooking class, dance group, or book club. It will help you form a natural network around your interests, boosting your personal resilience in the process.

When you make the time to reach out and engage in activities that interest you, you meet others who have similar interests. And at the root of those shared interests? Shared values. Surrounding yourself with people you genuinely connect with leaves you feeling more supported and even more resilient. Having a solid social network buffers against stress and makes you feel more optimistic in the face of uncertainty.

When you invest in your leisure, you are investing in yourself.

Exploring your different interests outside of work is also a great way to remind yourself that it’s never too late to continue learning and try something new, which fosters a Growth-Mindset, rather than a fixed one—making you feel more resilient and capable of approaching situations with an open mind. You may even surprise yourself with what you are capable of, which is a sentiment to carry with you when you face new challenges on the horizon.

Enjoy your free time!

with all my love, Birgit

You got questions? Click this link and send me a message.

How to Have More Free Time (no matter how busy you think you are) Read More »