Personal Growth

8 habits of unproductive people

A little while back, I found myself engrossed in a lively chat with a bunch of incredibly inventive minds. Now, here's the quirky part – despite their undeniable brilliance, they were stuck in the unproductive maze. It was like a brilliant symphony playing out in a silent theater, where the curtain on their productivity had dropped.
These were individuals who had dazzled with their creativity, yet struggled to wrangle their productivity levels. As we delved deeper, a striking truth shone through – they had unwittingly forged intricate paths, perfect systems if you will, to thrive in the realm of unproductivity.
Their stories were so incredible fascinating, each thread weaving a unique journey into the labyrinth of inefficiency. And amidst this unconventional group, I was genuinely captivated by their accidental mastery of this peculiar art.
Again, I got curious... So I ask them to teach me their Perfect System on becoming virtuosos of unproductivity.
The outcome? An unexpected treasure trove of revelations, uncovering habits, perspectives, and strategies that often lead us astray from our full potential.
Let’s take a closer look how to become a master of unproductivity … and what to do instead. 😉
✔️ Neglect to Learning: Productive people are perpetual learners. Embrace a daily practice of learning – read, research, and absorb educational content that fuels your growth. Transform your acquired knowledge into actionable steps that amplify your productivity.
✔️ Fall for Distractions: In today's world, distractions clamor for attention. Tame distractions by focusing on tasks that genuinely matter. Slash disturbances and allocate specific periods for indulging in diversions, preserving your focused energy for what truly counts.
✔️ Get lost in strategy and planning & postpone action While strategy and planning hold value, it's action that propels outcomes. Find the equilibrium between crafting strategies and implementing them. Remember, productivity thrives on doing, not just ideating.
✔️ Don’t Plan A solid plan is the cornerstone of productivity. Meticulous individuals plot their days, weeks, and hours, ensuring each moment is purposefully allocated. Craft a roadmap that guides you through tasks, transforming your time into meaningful progress.
✔️ Never Prioritizing the Pivotal Recognize the distinction between busyness and productivity. Shift your attention to tasks with substantial impacts. Dodge the trap of investing time in activities offering minimal returns; instead, focus on those driving significant growth.
✔️ Avoid Challenges Achievers embrace challenges and persist through them. Productivity blossoms with unwavering commitment over time. Show up consistently and observe your productivity flourish as you overcome obstacles.
✔️ Get into the Worry Loop Worry is a productivity drain. Redirect your energy into constructive action. Reflect on past accomplishments propelled by concerns, realizing the limitations of excessive worry and enabling focused progress.
✔️ Embrace Procrastination Procrastination obstructs productivity. Transform it into a chance to engage in alternate productive pursuits. Channel your impulses toward tasks that propel advancement and redirect your energy towards meaningful accomplishments.
Become the Master of Your Time !

Let’s face it, we all get the same 24 hours in a day – no more, no less. Yet, those who truly succeed have a secret: they’ve cracked the code on making every second count. They’ve let go of unproductive habits that drain energy and focus. As you bid adieu to these counterproductive patterns, a world brimming with untapped potential awaits.

So, are you ready to roll up your sleeves and design a life bursting with productivity and triumph? 

But wait, I am curious:  What’s your signature unproductive habit, and how do you plan to master it?

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The Anatomy of APOLOGIZING

Ever had someone apologize to you in a way that felt more like a slap in the face than a genuine admission of fault?  And, on the flip side, have you ever gotten an apology that felt like a warm cup of cocoa on a chilly day? I’ve been fortunate enough to experience both – thankfully more of the comforting kind. Growing up, my mom was all about good manners and kindness. She had this saying she’d pull out whenever my sister and I weren’t being friendly or forgot our “sorries.” “Put on a smile,” she’d say. And when we messed up, she’d chime in with, “Say you’re sorry – it’s like a magic fixer-upper.” She meant that apologizing could make things better, like sprinkling fairy dust on a mess. Oh, and if we dared to say “sorry but,” well, let’s just say we’d be in for a lecture – and not the fun kind!

Apologizing Gone Wrong

In my  leadership seminars, we give major props to apologizing. Why?  It’s a big deal because, let’s face it,  people simply don’t trust leaders who can’t apologize. Additionally, they need to apologize correctly – there’s a right and wrong way to say it. In my work with couples, I’ve heard a common complaint: “Their apologies just don’t cut it.” (Okay, the real words might be a tad saltier.) 

Whether it’s at work or in personal relationships, apologies can totally backfire if your tone and body language scream “I don’t really mean it.” And don’t even get me started on email apologies – The problem with the latter is that you can’t see the person or hear them – all you can go by is the words and the tone of the email. (Yes, emails do have a tone of voice.)

Apology Fails and Redos

While a heartfelt apology can heal hurt feelings and patch up your reputation, a bad apology can fan the flames and do even more harm than the very thing you’re apologizing for! So, let’s dive into some common apology mistakes, and how to avoid them:

Mistake 1: Apology with a “But”

Saying “I’m sorry, but” isn’t really an apology; it’s more like an excuse. “I’m sorry, but I was having a bad day” may sound like a mea culpa, but it’s really a deflection.

Rectification:  “I’m sorry for what I said/did. I was in a bad space, but that doesn’t make it right. How can I make it up to you?“

Mistake 2: Good Start, Bad Finish

An apology that starts well but ends poorly isn’t an apology; it’s an argument starter. “I’m sorry I did it. You triggered me though…” Hello, disagreement central! Can you hear the toxic cycle of a new argument being born here? I certainly can!

Rectification: “I’m sorry I said that. I didn’t like your tone, but I shouldn’t have reacted that way. How can we do it differently in future?” (We need to understand that it is a two-way street at times, without apportioning blame.)

Mistake 3: The Intent Mix-up

“I didn’t mean to hurt you” isn’t an apology. It’s not about your intention; it’s about your actions. 

Rectification: “I’m sorry for what I did and for hurting you. What can I do to make it better? How can I make amends?”

Mistake 4: Passive-Aggressive Play

“I’m sorry you feel that way” is a sneaky non-apology. It sounds like sorry but feels like sass. Here’s the problem: you can’t be sorry for how another person feels – it’s a way of using the words “I’m sorry,” but without any investment in the apology.
Rectification: If you’re truly sorry, say, “I’m sorry my words/actions had such an effect on you. I will be more aware of what I say and how I say it in future.”

Don’t forget: 

An apology needs to be sincere. It needs to show that the person apologizing is taking responsibility for what they did or said, showing remorse, and sharing how they intend to make amends going forward.

After the Apology

But here’s the hard truth: an apology is  not  enough. You’ve got to back it up with action. An apology needs legs to stand on; otherwise, it’s like a fancy outfit on a mannequin – pretty, but not functional. After the apology, it’s necessary to show, by how you speak and behave, that you’re putting in the work to change.

Being able to apologize sincerely, without getting defensive or huffy, is a sign of maturity and strength. It shows that you’re not too big or important to be vulnerable –  It shows you’re strong enough to admit your „goof“ and fix it. 

So, say you’re sorry and let’s keep the peace. (Thanks, Mom!)

What’s your distinctive approach to mastering the art of apologizing? How do you infuse authenticity and depth into your apologies? Your wisdom is invaluable – share your reflections!

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9 Ways on how to give away your personal power

Have you ever felt like life’s reins are slipping through your fingers?

Not too long ago, I found myself engrossed in a conversation with a remarkable woman. It was during one of those everyday chats, when I casually asked, “How are you?” 

But her response was anything but ordinary. 

She painted a vivid picture, describing how it felt as if life’s reins were slipping through her fingers, evading her grasp. 

Intrigued by her metaphor, I leaned in and inquired, “Teach me! Teach me how to give away my personal power.“

Sometimes…

 the most profound insights arise from unexpected moments. 

Let me demystify this for you. Picture this: we take those aspects you’re resisting, the forces that seem to hold you back, and we lay them out, piece by piece. It’s like deciphering a puzzle. 

But no need to take it all so serious – let’s face it, life’s too short not to chuckle at our own complexities. 

But here’s the simple truth: you’re not a mere passenger; you’re the author of your journey… all ways… always!

Now, let’s journey into the heart of the matter. 

Our lovely lady, the protagonist of our tale, arrived at my doorstep with her very own “Perfect System.” 

It was a recipe of sorts, a pattern she unwittingly followed, leading her into the maze of losing her personal power. But here’s the thrilling part – I’m not just telling you her story, I’m revealing the magic wand to reclaiming that power.

So listen, this is a story of  turning struggles into stepping stones, and if you listen closely, I’ll hand you a compass to navigate life with personal power at your side. 

Shall we? 

 1. Tolerate Things You Hate 

A big part of life is putting up with the odd thing we don’t like to make a loved one happy… and there is nothing wrong with that. We all do that. However, constantly engaging in things you hate because you don’t want to speak up IS a problem that will drain your power. Stop tolerate activities or people that you truly hate. Speaking up in this situations.

2. Don’t Speak Up When Something Is Wrong

Sometimes staying quiet to avoid an argument is a strategic move. However, if you find yourself always doing this, you are negating your personal power. Not every battle is worth fighting, but everyone should be comfortable speaking up when their core beliefs are challenged. 

3. Worry About The Opinions Of Others

We all have people in our lives whose feelings we should consider. This includes our closest loved ones, friends, and some other colleagues. However, stop constantly worry about what everyone thinks of you. Worrying too much about the opinions of random people is one of the biggest ways we dilute our personal power. What’s more important: your core values or what someone who doesn’t live your life thinks about you? 

4. Don’t Set Boundaries

After all, „NO“ is a complete sentence. An important part of a fulfilling life is setting healthy boundaries. When you refuse to set boundaries or let people walk all over them, you are giving away your personal power to them. Remember, if people care about you, they will respect your boundaries. 

5. Complain About Other People Too Much

Do you find yourself constantly complaining, gossiping, or talking about other people? This is another great way to you give other people too much control of your personal power. Why would you waste your energy worrying this much about others when you could spend that time on your goals, self-care, or simply enjoying yourself? Tell me

6. Let Others Call The Shots

One of the very best ways to give up your personal power is by letting someone else call all the shots. How can you feel powerful if you never make your own decisions? While staying in the passenger seat might be comfortable, we all need to take the wheel once in a while. 

7. Don’t Listen To Your Gut Feelings

Do you trust yourself? Highly successful people I know have a strong sense of personal power and master decision making on the base of their intuition AND evidence based informations. When you ignore your instinct or intuition, you imply that you don’t trust yourself. Learning to trust your hunches and instincts will help you gain personal power.

8. Change Your Goals Based On Other People’s Opinions

A big aspect of personal power is having goals that you work towards. Your goals should reflect your desires and values. If you allow other people to dictate your goals, are you really living life for yourself? You will have goals that people shrug off as silly or impossible… okay. No one sees what you see even if they see it too. Don’t allow their negativity to rob you of personal power. 

9. Be Hypersensitive To Criticism

No one likes to hear criticism, but if you become an emotional wreck after negative feedback, you give others too much control over you. Criticism is a normal part of life, and you can choose how you react to it. Accept valid criticism and ignore the untrue. 

Epilogue

And there you have it:  The highly effective ways of how to give away your personal power … and  some powerful insights on how to protect your personal power.

But be aware: These steps aren’t meant to merely be read; they re not worth a penny if you don’t take action and implement them into your daily life.

Every choice, every shift, every conscious action propels you toward empowerment. With your hand on the reins, the symphony of your life transforms into a melody of purpose.

with love & respect, Mrs. B.

I am curious: How do YOU master giving away your personal power?  I’d love to hear from you.

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break out of comfort zone

My Top 5 Strategies for Lasting Transformation

Every New Year arrives with a chorus of resolutions, echoing promises of change and growth. We stand at the threshold of transformation, ready to learn new skills, embrace new challenges, and step beyond the boundaries of our comfort zone. But why venture into the unknown when the comfort zone feels so inviting? Because the greatest stories of personal triumph and growth are written outside its familiar walls.

Imagine this: a cozy cocoon, warm and reassuring. It’s your comfort zone, a place where routine and familiarity rule. Yet, nestled within it are dreams unfulfilled and ambitions unrealized. Your comfort zone is a comfort trap – a place of inertia, a silent inhibitor of progress.

Here are five dynamic ways to unravel yourself from the embrace of your comfort zone and script your own journey of personal evolution. Shall we?

1. Master a New Skill: The Power of Embracing the Unknown

Picture this: a LinkedIn poll revealed that 58 percent of respondents are determined to learn a new skill this year. But embarking on a learning journey isn’t all sunshine and smooth sailing. The excitement of novelty can wane as the road gets tough. True learning resides in what we call the Learning Zone – that sweet spot where challenge and comfort intertwine. Think of it as the crucible for growth, where your potential is forged. Remember, just like a sculpture emerges from a block of stone, your skills need challenges to chisel out their brilliance.

2. Embrace Novel Challenges and Opportunities: The Canvas of Transformation

Surprises abound when you pry open the door of your comfort zone. Our poll revealed that 34 percent of participants set their sights on a new job. The New Year heralds a period of introspection and renewal. It’s a season for reevaluating priorities and welcoming new experiences. Even if you’re not pivoting your entire career, don’t shy away from new avenues. Imagine this: a business controller in the Netherlands took the opportunity to learn to drive a bus, not for a career change, but for the sheer thrill of novelty. Sometimes, the simplest moments of stepping beyond the ordinary can lead to extraordinary revelations.

3. Construct Positive Habits Beyond Your Comfort Zone: Nurturing Growth

Breaking free from the grip of comfort often involves constructing healthier habits. Consider this: a LinkedIn follower from Taipei  voiced a desire to get in shape, while an British scientist pledged to allocate time for self-care and yoga. Small shifts toward healthier living can reverberate profoundly in your life. Imagine yourself tasting a previously unknown vegetable, perhaps cavolo nero (Italian kale). Just like in life, venturing beyond the familiar can lead to the discovery of hidden gems.

4. Conquer Your Fears: Unleash the Hero Within

Fear often lurks at the borders of your comfort zone, seeking to prevent your progress. Yet, the path to growth is paved with conquered fears. Have you ever contemplated Eleanor Roosevelt’s powerful axiom – “do one thing every day that scares you”? In the realm outside your comfort zone, fear is your ally. It’s your compass guiding you toward undiscovered territories of personal triumph. Imagine this: a writer, Jonathan Hancock, converted fear into fuel as he embarked on a 100km charity run, proving that fear, when harnessed, becomes a powerful force for change.

5. Own Your Journey: Accountability as a Catalyst for Success

For those daring enough to embrace challenges, accountability is your secret weapon. Consider this: enlisting for a charity marathon can elevate your motivation to new heights. Or perhaps, stepping onto an open mic stage can supercharge your public speaking skills. And as you traverse your path of growth, reward yourself for every milestone achieved – a sumptuous meal or a celebratory bottle of bubbly, perhaps. Imagine this: your journey becomes not just a solitary quest, but a shared celebration of your progress.

The comfort zone is nothing else but a graveyard for your dreams & ideas.

So, how do you muster the courage to stride beyond the safe realm of your comfort zone?

Your story is unique – share it with us in the comments below. Let’s start that journey of transformation, where personal growth and self-discovery flourish beyond our comfort’s embrace.

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“Excuse me, But isn’t it rather selfish & unempathic to put m happiness first”

I recently was asked this great question… 

Actually this is probably the most malicious myth about happiness at all!

But, it comes in several varieties… did you ever heart this before:
“In a world so full of suffering, you can be happy only if you’re callous and self-centered”⁠
“Happy people become wrapped up in their own pleasure! They’re complacent and uninterested in the world”.⁠

And just to make this clear right from the bottom: These are WRONG!!!!⁠

Studies show that, quite to the contrary, happier people are more likely to help other people, they’re more interested in social problems, they do more volunteer work, and they contribute more to charity. They’re less preoccupied with their personal problems.⁠

WHEN I’M FEELING HAPPY… I find it easier to notice other people’s problems… I feel that I have more energy to try to take action… I have the emotional wherewithal to tackle sad or difficult issues… and I’m not as preoccupied with myself… I feel more generous and forgiving. ⁠

 How about you? 

If you spend time with someone who exudes positivity, and you are more likely to feel positive… Hang with someone who acts like life’s number one victim, and guaranteed, Debbie downer is going to rub off on you. RIGHT OR WRONG?⁠

It is called EMOTIONAL CONTAGION… and it means the emotions of others can influence us. ⁠

So if happy people make other people happy, why is it that happy people are sometimes thought to be selfish?⁠

This myth that unhappiness is selfless and happiness is selfish is misguided.⁠
IN FACT It’s more selfless to act happy. ⁠
It takes energy, generosity and discipline to be “happy”, BUT yet everyone takes the happy person for granted.⁠

“ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY IS TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE HAPPY; ⁠
ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO MAKE OTHERS HAPPY IS TO BE HAPPY YOURSELF”⁠

Everyone accepts the first part of this phrase, but the second part is just as important!⁠

By making the effort to make yourself happier, you better equip yourself to make other people happier, as well. ⁠

IT’S NOT SELFISH TO TRY TO BE HAPPY… ⁠
HAPPINESS is your BIRTHRIGHT!⁠

With all my love. B.⁠

Facts about Happiness you might want to know...

Happiness takes work. Happy people are taken for granted because they are thought of as  naturally happy people or born happy, yet upbeat people have to work at being resilient, bouncing back, rising above, and staying positive. The outside world only sees the happy person and not the effort behind the scenes, so positive people don’t receive credit for creating their sunshine-like dispositions. “Happiness is a work ethic. You have to train your brain to be positive, just like you work out your body,”

what can I do to make sure I'm becoming the best version of myself_BLOGbyBIMAKO

Happy people are overlooked. If happy people are thought to be in selfish pursuit of their own fulfillment and pleasure, consider that the happy person often goes unnoticed. “No one is careful of (a happy person’s) feelings or tries to keep his spirits high,” Rubin says. “Because happy people seem self-sufficient, they become a cushion for others.”  The happy person is expected to lift others up.

Happiness doesn’t mean you lack empathy. Just because your smile lights up a room, doesn’t mean you are blind to the suffering going on in the world. You don’t have to sacrifice your happiness to show the world you are compassionate. “Just as eating your dinner doesn’t help starving children in India; being blue yourself doesn’t help unhappy people become happier,” Rubin says. In fact, happier people are better equipped to demonstrate their empathy and help people because their emotional tanks are full.  “When I’m feeling happy, I find it easier to notice other people’s problems. I have more energy to try to take action and I have the emotional wherewithal to tackle sad or difficult issues, and I’m not as preoccupied with myself. I feel more generous and forgiving,” Rubin says. There will always be tragic stories happening in the world, but empathy is better expressed with giving back and good deeds, than giving up your happiness in a show of support.

Happy people give back.  Happy people are more interested in social problems, more likely to do volunteer work and contribute to charity, according to Gallup Well-being polls. While unhappy people tend to socially withdraw and focus on themselves, happy people turn outward and are more available to help others. And when people give back it only enhances their happiness, says Harvey McKinnon, a nonprofit fundraising expert and author of The Power of Giving: How Giving Back Enriches Us All. “People are hard-wired to give, and when people give to others, it makes them feel better.” Turns out, one of the best ways to get happy in the first place is to do a selfless act—help other people be happy. Rubin calls it a splendid truth: “The best way to make yourself happy is to make others happy, and the best ways to make other people happy, is to be happy yourself.”

It occurs to me, that it’s quiet important to care & fill our own “cup” first… just because of the fact that no-one can pour from an empty cup!  so you want to make a difference in this world, care about yourself. Then… only then… you will be able to give  to others from a healthy and abundant place!

with all my love, Birgit

You got questions? Click this link and send me a message.

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How to calm down the s#%t

blog by mrs.bimako

Retrain your brain for a calmer life

We live in fast-paced times.

You could say stress is part of our daily life! Everyone has to cope with it. And most of the time we master the challenges of everyday life with flying colours, don’t we?

But do you know those moments when you don’t know where your head is anymore and you have the feeling “this will never change. It will stay like this forever”. These are the moments when we have “just had enough”. Hand on heart: Does this sound like someone you know?

 If you feel so stressed-out that you are overwhelmed trying to cope, anxious or even panic about your to-do list… then take a closer look at the following 7 strategies to retrain your brain and learn how to handle stress better & stay calm under any kind of pressure.

Did you know? Stress & Pressure can put the body into “fight or flight” mode – an age-old tactic you probably have heard about. However, this evolutionary process releases hormones that prepare the body for either “fight or flight” mode, to get you ready to either fight or run from danger. In this day and age, our massive daily stress triggers these fight or flight hormones…. even when we are not faced with life-threatening situations. Okay, to us it may feel like our life depends on giving that presentation at work… I know situations like this… But let’s be honest… it’s not holding exactly the same amount of danger as facing a wild sabre-toothed tiger…. is it?

So if we often feel anxious or even panicky, it could be an indication that our fight or flight mode is probably triggered too easily. In this case, wouldn’t it be helpful  to learn how to calm yourself down when you’re entering this state?

7 tips
how you can calm down under any kind of pressure

TAKE A DEEP BREATH … OR TWO

Breathing deeply and slowly triggers the body to stop releasing stress hormones and start to relax. Focusing on your breath can also help to distract your mind from whatever is bothering you so that you focus only on what is happening at the present moment…either around you, nor inside of you.

A wise man once said: ” If you are in your head, you are dead”. Well, it’s a little bit dramatic… but you may see the point of truth in there. If we are not aware what’s happening around us and – instead- are wrapped up in our To-Do-Lists and worries, then we are only functioning… then we are not really living at all. 

Let’s start practicing how to be more present and focus on our breathing, right away. Here is a simple but very effective exercise:

Close your eyes. Relax your shoulders and your lower jaw! Breathe in deeply through your nose –  all the way into your belly and not just your chest. Hold for a moment and breathe out slowly through your mouth. Take a few minutes just to breathe deeply. Inhale – Exhale – Repeat.  After some time you should find yourself feeling much calmer.

If you like I have written down my “3 best practice tips to tap into the present moment easily”. Just click here to have a look at the little article.

GO FOR A WALK IN NATURE

Exercise is just as important as sleep when it comes to keeping stress in check and dealing with external pressure. Exercise prompts the body to release those “feel good” hormones that help you to clear your mind. 

If you’re under pressure at work, just five minutes of fresh air and a change of scenery could help you to feel calmer and gain a new perspective on the situation – you’ll probably realise it’s not a case of life or death anyway.

If you’d like to read more about the benefits of a “Walk Outside” click here to find out how a walk outside can boost your health AND your success.

 

PRACTISE GRATITUDE 

Staying grateful for everything you have in your life – no matter how small – can keep things in perspective and help you to maintain a positive attitude

Studies have shown that people who keep a daily gratitude journal have lower levels of cortisol – the hormone responsible for stress. Try taking a few minutes at the end of each day to write down 5 things you feel thankful for and see how much better it makes you feel.

Writing a gratitude journal may seem difficult at first, I know. Grap a free copy of my “Gratitude Log For Inner Peace” simply by clicking this link.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO VALUE YOU

You probably have a few people in your life who can make you feel stressed just by being around them. While it’s not always possible to cut these people out of your life entirely, when you’re under pressure try to spend more time with friends and family who are helpful, positive, and will lift you up rather than drag you down.

But most of all: allow yourself to be proud of yourself! Remember your strengths, your achievements and your worth.

GET PLENTY OF SLEEP

Let’s be honest: Everything seems worse when you’ve haven’t had a good night’s sleep. Stress and anxiety can often lead to insomnia so you end up in a vicious cycle – not being able to sleep and then feeling worse because you haven’t had enough sleep.

Make sleep a priority, especially if you’re under a lot of pressure. Create a sleep routine, that helps you to calm down. What about creating a spa like bedtime routine that helps you to relaxe? Probably you are the typ of person that enjoys guided meditations that help you to drift into sleep! OR you need a quick but exhausting yoga sequence to kick off our day.

Whatever it is that fits you most: Keep your mind clear and set an intention to have 8 hours of delicious sleep tonight. Unplug from all devices about 1 hour before you sleep.

FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE

Always imagining the worst case in every scenario is clinically known as catastrophic thinking and can increase anxiety and feelings of panic.

Rather than dwelling on negative aspects or outcomes, try to spend a few moments thinking positively. If your bathroom has flooded and you have to replace all the flooring, for example, this could be a very stressful situation. Yet try to focus on the fact that it gives you the opportunity to update and renovate, and the repairs should be covered by your insurance.

Staying optimistic allows your brain to avoid stress and stay calm.

Are you struggling being positive? Are you facing negative self-talk? Wait a minute. I’ve got something for you: click here to grab a free copy of my “POSITIVE MINDSET CHEATSHEET”.

PAUSE AND MEDITATED

Meditation has been proven to reduce stress and influence your brain waves over time so you can manage your emotions better and stay calm when you need to most.

If you think meditation is all about sitting cross-legged for hours and chanting “om”, you couldn’t be further from the truth – even a few minutes of sitting quietly and concentrating on your breathing is a beneficial form of meditation. You can also try apps like Headspace or 7Mind.

Personally I love guided meditations. You can easily find quiet a lot on YouTube and choose the ones that fit your needs! Click this link, to get to a free “Guided Meditation To Relax Your Mind and Release Stress” by amazing Merissa Peer. Or listen to this one … it’s a guided meditation for relaxation, positive energy and creativity by Mindvalley.

 

 

You can’t control what life will throw at you next, but you can learn to cope with pressurised situations and deal with stress in a healthy way.

Making an effort to practise some of these strategies the next time you feel under pressure can help you to feel calm and able to deal with any situation.

with all my love, Birgit

You got questions? Click this link and send me a message.

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The 6 signs you are struggling with emotional clutter

... and how to clear them out

Okay, let’s pause for a second right here!

I can see you… and I hear you: What (by all means) do you mean by “Emotional Clutter”?

In fact we all carry “emotional clutter” with us… and for sure we all have build some functional “emotional blocks” throughout our life that sometimes prevent us from communicating with others …. and make us feel totally incapable.⁠

You see…

Our past experiences shape the way we see the world and how we relate to others. ⁠
⁠And these experiences often bring out different emotions that we either express or suppress. ⁠

Really everyone carries emotions that they have not fully processed because of past experiences… and yes: even coaches and therapists do! 😉

The problem starts if we don’t process these emotions, they can surface in many areas of our lives and make it difficult for us to function…. for example, they can affect how we react to stress, how we see ourselves as a person…. and sometimes they affect our physical health. ⁠Yes, these are all things that accumulated feelings can do.⁠

All those repressed, suppressed and unexpressed emotions and old beliefs that are keeping you stuck, rooted in a spot that probably no longer represents who you are or what you are capable of. ⁠

Actually emotional clutter acts like an invisible set of horse blinders that keep you from seeing beyond what is right in front of you!⁠

They blind you to potential paths forward and from the resources and options you have at your disposal. ⁠

But because those emotional blinders aren’t physical, they are easy enough to suppress or ignore.⁠

So here comes the 6 signs you have emotional clutter to deal with, and a few thoughts about how to clear it out…

Sign No1:

Your Expectations of How Others Should Behave Is Distancing You From Them.

Do you have rules for how the people in your life need to show you they love you?

For example, do you “need” your husband to start taking out recycling without being nagged to feel more appreciated?

The problem with this is twofold: (a) it is extremely rare that these expectations are ever verbalised so the other person has no idea he is fouling up… and (b) your focus on what they aren’t doing right often causes you to miss other, real expressions of love.

Sign No2:

What You Should Do Is Making You Miserable or Rebellious.

Just as “should” isn’t a good motivator for others (see sign No1), it’s not a good motivator for you, either.

Rather than bowing to “should dos,” the next time you start to do something because you have to, stop. Take five minutes to consider what you really want to do and why. Then decide to make and follow your own rules in that area going forward.

Sign No3:

You Become “Shivery” Every Time You Scroll Through Your Contacts and See “THAT” Name.

Old relationships that ended on an unfortunate note, whether personal or professional, are part of life.

If you had one, do yourself a favour and get some closure.

Distance is the only thing that will lessen the emotional sting.

Delete the contact information from your phone.

UnFriend. UnLink. UnFollow.

You don’t need to know what they are up to if all it does is make you re-experience a past hurt. Handle yourself this gift of closing that door finally!

Sign No4:

You Feel Guilty Because You Let Someone Down.

Human beings are born to connect with others… and therefore we are used to please others so they like us.

From the time we can walk, we are socialised to share, pitch in and contribute.

The principle of reciprocity serves as a crucial glue for our community-based societies.

But it can also lead you to over-commit. If you’re chronically over-extending yourself, and letting people down in the process, you need to swap your “Sure, no problem” for “That sounds really interesting; let me think about it and get back to you with an answer.” Then use the time to determine whether you want to accept the request.

Sign No5:

You Get This Nagging Feeling When You Think About Someone.

Sometimes so much time has passed since you last connected with someone that you feel guilty just thinking about them or seeing their information in your phone. 

Rather than suppressing the negative emotion, call them!

Ideally, right when you realise you’re feeling guilty. 

If you can’t do it right then, make an appointment to connect with them before the week is out.

Free yourself with this act of courage.

Sign No6:

You Have Tons Of Uncompleted Projects.

There are several reason why you probably won’t finish projects… sometimes you need more informations… you loose interest in the topic… but there is a pretty good chance too that your subconscious mind is trying to keep you safe inside of your comfort zone and stop you from completing that project!

If it is this or that reason: When you fail to complete a project, you not only have physical reminders of it, but nagging emotional ones as well.

Can you see?

The nagging may not be urgent, but it’s there, somewhere in the back of your mind, constantly reminding you that you have something left to do.

If you’ve got one (or more) of these, take some time before the day is out to make a list of the projects you want to complete.

Then break them down into smaller work steps and schedule them in.

If you have a half-started project that you no longer really want to finish, it’s OK. It’s probably better to let it go and be at peace with your decision than to continue to carry it around!

So these are the 6 signs you are carrying emotional clutter with you.

Of course, these tips cannot be for everyone. We are are unique creatures and so are our stories.

If you feel those repressed, suppressed and unexpressed emotions and old beliefs deep insight you are probably  keeping you stuck… please feel invited to send me a message.

I am here to support you and to help you to bring ease and happiness back into your life!

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3 ways to tap into the present moment easily

In your daily life, do you find your mind wandering? ⁠

Are you often so caught up in checking your phone that you’re not engaging with your loved ones? ⁠

It can be difficult to be in the moment when you have a full schedule or other things on your mind. ⁠

But isn’t it so… all we have right now is the present moment. The past is gone and the future is unwritten. So instead of holding onto gone times or looking forward to the future, how about being thankful for the beauty of ‘right now’? If you are truly experiencing each moment of your day, doesn’t that seem to be the best way to spend your time wisely? ⁠

A wise man once said, “If you’re in your head, you’re dead.”  That sounds probably a little bit dramatic… but I’m sure you can see the point of truth in there. If you’re not enjoying what’s happening around you, and are instead wrapped up in your to-do lists and worries, then you’re not really living at all.⁠

However, there are many benefits to being present. ⁠

Practicing mindfulness can boost your memory, increase your focus, reduce stress, improve your emotional fitness, help you to make the best decisions at any given time and more!

So let’s start practicing how to be more present – right away.⁠

Today I am here to share my personal 

 “3 BEST PRACTICE TIPS TO TAP INTO THE PRESENT MOMENT EASILY“! ⁠

✨No.1✨
Focus on your breath

When you are present there is a certain stillness and centeredness inside. You calm down.
By focusing just on the in and out-breaths you connect to the present moment instead of the past or future scenarios that are stressing you.
Take some “belly breaths and just focus on them for a minute or two!

✨No.2✨
Focus on what’s right in front of you… Or on you.

Use your senses. Just look at what’s right in front of you right now. Listen to the sounds around you. Feel the fabric of your clothes and focus on how they feel. You can for instance use the summer sun or rain and how it feels on your skin to connect with the present.

✨TIP No.3✨
Pick up the vibe from present people.

If you know someone that is more present than most people then you can pick his/her vibe of presence (just like you can pick up positivity or enthusiasm from people)… It works!

If you don’t know someone like that, I recommend “Stillness Speaks” or “The Flowering of Consciousness” (both by Eckhardt Tolle). Listening to/watching cds/dvds work better for me when I wanna pick up someone’s vibe since the biggest part of communication is voice tonality and body language… but in general books works of course too!!

Being present in your life takes practice, and it can be difficult.

Especially at the beginning, it’s not realistic to be present every minute of the day! Don’t stress you about this! Let’s start with 15 minutes today.

You can start “being present”  whilst washing the dishes, meditating, journaling or doing enjoyable activities which do not require tech devices!  

I have a practice of walking in nature to help me be present in the moment. I also like activities such as cooking and baking to help me stay present. Reading hard copy books or even relaxing with a cup of coffee can ground me perfectly into the present moment, too!

So, what will you be doing to stay present today?

with all my love, Birgit

 If you’re still struggling to stay on task at work, or can’t give your family your undivided attention, perhaps it’s time you and I should have a conversation…

Did I missed out your best-practice to tap into the present moment? For sure, there are a few more ways to return to the present moment.

I would love to hear about your favorite way to tap into the present moment! Put it in the comments below… or click here to send me a message.

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How to Have More Free Time (no matter how busy you think you are)

Think back to grade school.

Do you remember that delicious moment when the final bell would ring, marking the end of the school day? How you could not wait to race home to relax, or meet with friends at extracurriculum clubs or other activities?

As Children, we tend to have an almost tangible excitement about our free time – time dedicated to relaxation, hobbies or other activities we enjoy. But when school desk are replaced with work desk, our „free-time“ tends to become less about what we want to do and more about what we have to do.

Our society strongly values productivity… which can create a stigma around „free-time“. Of course, yes, as an adult, you have more responsibilities. But just because we grow up doesn’t mean we have grow out of Enjoyment.

But why do you might feel having a lack of free-time? Is it really the „to-less-free-time“-thing? Is it because we want to enjoy too much activities in one day? Is it because we are feeling guilty when we are not working?

Actually most of my clients do have „enough“ free-time. But they are experiencing the missing feeling of „being on leisure“. 

The reason is almost the same… and it happens to me either. 

As it turned out to be as simple as complex like it does in most cases: we got trapped in the treadmill of our own thinking!

As I mentioned it before: our society values productivity. But as this brought our modern society as far as it did… the same productivity brings a lot of pressure with it.

While I was raising my daughter on my own, I was feeling guilty at work, not being with my daughter… and was thinking about “work stuff” at home! But it didn’t stop there: as a modern working mom I “knew”  about the importance of self care. And let me be honest about this: it stressed me even more.

Let me give you another example: 

I once had a client who was spending most of his time “thinking about his biggest work challenges ”! What was even more shocking, however, was that when I spotted this out to him he shook his head sadly. “I know,” he said, a bit guiltily. “I should be putting in another 2 – 3 hours a day thinking about it if I ever really want to solve it, but I just don’t have the time.”

You see?

Spending hours trying to think your way out of your problems is like walking east looking for a sunset – no matter how smart you are and no matter how hard you’re willing to work, it’s never going to happen that way. You’ll just get caught up inside that problem so deeply, that you not only missing out your “NOW” (which is probably time with your kids and family), but also at one point you WILL loose your perspectives and end up “not seeing the forest for the trees” !!!

In fact: Overthinking is the most unproductive way to solve any kind of problem!

Today, when I got trapped in my thinking, I just do ONE thing:  I totally give up engaging myself on that problem. In fact what I actually DO in the moment I realize that I am overthinking on a problem, I take a deep breath, I clear my mind and I start getting “present”.

And after some time, when I have almost forgotten about that problem, the best idea on it comes from within me.

Did you ever have an experience like that? Maybe while having a shower… cleaning the dishes… or while scrolling through your Instagram feed at the toilet…(?)

Let me ask you a question: How do you clear muddy water in a bowl?

YES! YOU ARE ABSOLUTLY RIGHT: You let it rest.

After some time the mud will sink down.

Clear water remains on top so you can drink it!

This is the same Phenomenon that happens when you stop holding onto a problem and giving yourself a break.

In fact, studies show that „free-time“ is actually good for us – not only leisure time been related to a healthier immune system, reduces stress, and even increased longvity, it also helps you cultivate a richer sense of self and self-efficacy… which is your belief in yourself.

If you still need reasons why sometimes the most productive thing to do… is to take a BREAK… here comes 4:

#1…IT EMPOWERS YOU 

Free time, however, doesn’t have to take the shape of lying on the sofa on Netflix (no judgement if it does!). In fact, research shows that your free time is most beneficial when it is mentally engaging.

Leisure doesn’t mean lazy – it means engaging in an activity that you enjoy! Try spending your free time on activities like cooking, playing an instrument, doing a craft such as knitting… whatever speaks to you. It should be something you like that allows you to grow while you research. Need an extra bonus? The skill you develop out of interest can improve those skills you need for your job! (here is an example: more than 80% of employers say that creativity is important to them in the workplace!)

For those of us who are always „on the go“, the concept of „free time“ can really become a stressful feeling. If you have an Iceberg-Belief (a deeply held belief developed in young age… usually about how you should have or how the world should be) that you always have to be productive (because slowing down would be a sign of your weakness), it is hard to kick back and relax without feeling like you are wasting your time

#2 IT WILL ENERGIZE YOU

Have you ever heard about „EUSTRESS“? Positive-Psychology-Studies found out that leisure activities are accompanied by their own kind of „positive stress“ ( which is called „eustress“). It is a typ of stress that is stimulationg, engaging AND gets you into a state of flow (where you are so engrossed in what you are doing that you don’t even notice time passes).

As a result of eustress you are starting feeling motivated and energized.

So the next time you are feeling a lack of inspiration in your work, try getting the creative juices flowing by taking some time to play: Go for a walk or jog out in the sun. Sit in nature. Journal. Draw. Or dance to your favorite song. Refocusing your energy will allow you to what you were thinking about refreshed and with some new perspectives.

#3 IT REDUCES EMOTIONAL STRESS

Not only has leisure activity been proven to lower almost immediatly physical symptoms of stress as high blood pressure and heart rate – studies shown that it reduces emotional stress, too. When you are facing am obstacle, stepping out of routine has been found out to interrupt the cycle of unhealthy thoughts (those that can lead to overthinking and anxiety). The break in your usual thought patterns leads to more optimistic thinking, allowing you to reframe your thinking and clear your mind … before tackling the source of your stress.

So make leisure a priority at least once a week. Put down your To-Do-List and do something fun, spontanious, just for yourself. You will see your stress level subside in the long term!

#4 IT LEVEL-UP YOUR (REAL) SOCIAL NETWORK

Try swapping a solo activity for something more social, such as a cooking class, dance group, or book club. It will help you form a natural network around your interests, boosting your personal resilience in the process.

When you make the time to reach out and engage in activities that interest you, you meet others who have similar interests. And at the root of those shared interests? Shared values. Surrounding yourself with people you genuinely connect with leaves you feeling more supported and even more resilient. Having a solid social network buffers against stress and makes you feel more optimistic in the face of uncertainty.

When you invest in your leisure, you are investing in yourself.

Exploring your different interests outside of work is also a great way to remind yourself that it’s never too late to continue learning and try something new, which fosters a Growth-Mindset, rather than a fixed one—making you feel more resilient and capable of approaching situations with an open mind. You may even surprise yourself with what you are capable of, which is a sentiment to carry with you when you face new challenges on the horizon.

Enjoy your free time!

with all my love, Birgit

You got questions? Click this link and send me a message.

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When Gifts Become Challenges

The single biggest challenge you face as a high-achiever is that your game is so much bigger than that of anyone around you. You play at a level at which most people cannot even see how much you are holding back from what is possible.  

Despite your success—actually, because of it—doing more of what you’re already doing is not going to lead to your next level of success. In fact, the very qualities that have led to your current success are precisely what hold you back from even greater levels of accomplishment.

Through my work, I have discovered that there are nine qualities of high achievers that propel them forward and also hold them back the most—at the very same time.

Your gifts, in fact, become your challenges:

#1 You don’t need help: Well, you don’t. People are astounded by what you create. You are one of the highest-achieving people you know. And you definitely don’t need support. So you are missing your own very personal support team.

#2 You are future-focused: Having your attention firmly on the future enables you to take action immediately, the moment you have an idea. But you rarely slow down enough to notice the impact of those déjà vu challenges that seem to re-surface, time after time.

#3 You miss out on hearing the „truth“: The higher you rise, the harder it can become for you to open up with the people around you. And the higher you rise, the harder it becomes for the people around you to speak their truth. Top performers often have few people in their world willing to say exactly what they need to hear the most.

#4 You seek perfection: The more success you have and the more money you make, the greater the pressure to keep with the level of success. The Barrier to start new project becomes unbearably high, because each time it is re-set to an even greater level, based upon the rewards of your previous project.

#5 You get comfortable in the Gray Zone: The Gray Zone refers to a pace set by a runner that is too fast for recovery and too slow for growth. A pace like this can feel like a tough workout. But running in this zone, run after run, will actually lead to a decline in performance. The danger for a high performer is that your Gray Zone creates so much more than the average person that there is a temptation to continually underperform without even realizing that you’re doing so.

#6 You are an extremely talented problem-solver: You have a finely-tuned ability to scan the horizon for “danger” and this bias towards solving problems means you are energized by challenges and threats. So you tend to avoid things—taxes, relationships, income, etc.—until they reach problem-level status. And you struggle to focus on longer-term goals.

#7 You experiencing exponential success: Despite the admiration of those around you, it often doesn’t feel like you’ve ever had to work that hard for everything you’ve accomplished. It is easy to misinterpret the nature of rapid attainment, so you can feel like you are hiding a “dirty little secret”. Many of the highest-achieving people on the planet judge themselves for being ‘lazy’.

#8 You are a visionary: The very power of your vision can be detrimental to your success because you dream so big that you can get overwhelmed. When so many options are available to you, the paradox of choice can mean it’s hard to begin each new project.

#9 Your deep commitments begin to surface: You have deep, competing commitments that begin to surface the more successful you become. Your very drive for success is motivated by deep commitments and values. When you are not making happen what you claim to be committed to, it is a clue that there is a stronger, competing commitment to which you are unknowingly committed.

If this sounds like you, than YOU and I should have a conversation.

Let me remember you that you are more powerful than you know!

With all my love, Bimako

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